All Rants

just let me be the fuck alone.

does anyone even still want me here? no one acts like it. actions are big. especially the bad ones. reminder to everyone: think before you speak- think about what you are saying, what is this helping, if you are just speaking to speak, if it has a point- and most importantly-, how will affect that person that you are saying it to?

i hate stupid noises so much and I'm not just talking about chewing noises or typing- i do hate thos to tho. every. single. noise. annoys. me. my mom always gets mad at me and she is just such a huge problem in my life all together. she causes me so much pain. this isn't the main thing that makes her make me want to kill myself, but every single thing that she does she makes a noise. Typing- her nails are hitting the screen at every letter. Walking- her flip flops and their stupid noise annoy me. Her breathing- her breathing is so heavy and i can hear the air going through each and every booger she has in her nose, struggling to get out. my dad breaths even worse though. there is a super simple way to do everything without making those annoying noises. I have super sensitive ears, so they probably don't even relize it, but i do. and when i bring it up to them they get so mad at me and tell me just to ignore it. i can. it is so bad. i can' handle it anymore. i hate this.

I’ve been struggling with postpartum depression for 2 years now I haven’t gotten better Ive pushed away and disrespected the people who “would” care about me. I have no family to lean on for support, I’ve honestly just realized how little resources I have and it’s been hard having constant negative thoughts of maybe I’m better off not here anymore. I’m trying so hard I really am I just don’t know how much more I can do dealing with this

i was diagnosed with mild autism but my mom refuses to acknowledge it and wouldn't take me to any of my scheduled appointments with my psychiatrist. she hates anything to do with the word autistic about me, yet when i act differently, she calls me 'gila' (crazy) and 'tidak sihat' (not mentally well) which really hurt me. a lot. i'm legible for the disability card in malaysia, yet my mom doesn't allow me to make one because apparently 'it'll ruin my future' and, 'no one will hire me'. i struggle a lot in social settings, no one cares enough to support me and thinks it's not a big of a deal because im already 16, a teenager expected to be mature and suck it up. but in reality, it feels like i'm drowning in my own flaws of not being able to keep up with the normal neurotypical standards today. i genuinely don't know how much longer i can hold on 💔

i cry myself to sleep every night. every. single. night. im moving to a new town hours away from the house i have lived in since i was born. all because my dad accepted that stupid job offer.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH EVERYTHIGN SUCKS just kidding EVERYTHING IS GREAT NOT REALYYYY GRRRRRRRR I HATE HATE HATE HATE

i might be diabetic and i dont want my friends and family to view me differently just because of a health thing. im getting tested soon to see if i am. super scarred.

I wanna cry, my fucking head and body hurts so bad

idk if im bi or pan or straight and it is driving me insane

i used to have a crush on this guy that i changed my entire personality for any when he found out i liked him back he threatened to grape me

am i ever going to be loved? i've been struggling with that question like, A LOT mainly because i have pretty bad body dysmorphia (with a reason for it too lol), plus I'm pretty short which makes me, well...disproportioned. my head is too big for my body kinda? im 5'3. yeah im sounding pretty pathetic but i just want somebody to truly love me. and right now i don't think that will ever happen. so yeah just wanted to say that, bye sorry for wasting your time

How stupid are One Nation supporters, donating money so Pauline Hanson can go on a very expensive junket especially attending a Fashion show and is evidence Pauline is not for the low incomes and battlers.

Is it odd to feel like you’re finished with life? But not in a depressive suicidal way, like in a way where you feel all done. Like when you’re at school and finished your homework early. I’ve seen everything I want to see, felt everything I wanted to. I have no goals for the future and don’t really want one. My life’s gotten better but isn’t quite good, and I’d like to be done with it. If I died right now I’d be fine with it. I kinda look forward to death, I often wonder how it feels to die. Or what might be after it, but my hypothesis is that there’s nothing after death and our “soul”, for lack of a better word, dies alongside us. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep getting to me?

I just listened to one of my two bsfs vent to me about her situationship with her bsf, which was fine. i am always willing to listen to a friend and help. however, she didn't once ask me how i was doing when i too needed to vent as i had the crash out of the century today. it's fine i guess but she seriously hasn't messaged me all summer break except for today. additional vent: my crash out was because i told my parents about my physical symptoms as i have been going through episodes of feeling really sick and they got stressed out and raised their voice at me and i started yelling at them (something i don't often do) that i just feel so bad that i cause them so much stress. They brought up my anorexia (im in recovery) and blamed it (my physical symptoms) on me being underweight which like i get but cmon.

I really jst wanna kms, which is the STUPIDEST shi ive ever said. Ik there's so much to live for, but what good is it right now if i havent been anyone's reason and close friend my whole life? For context, i moved every year and moved schools each year, and never really built connections with anyone. I really didnt feel it at first, but once i saw my friends all contact their friends from younger starting in junior high and up, I'm wondering where's my group yk? Im selfish for ts, but i jst wanna be the homebody of someone and someone as my homebody. I always feel like a burden to my friends and everyone around me because I have a lot of energy and extroverted, but I overthink everything after to the point where its like my mind is half and half of wanting to end it and half knowing that its jst stupid. I really dont have passions, talents, intelligence, looks, friends, or connections that will keep me here honestly. I hate sounding pathetic like this because i cant deal shi. Ty 4 read

My mom keeps wanting to control my life. She won’t stop messaging me about where I stay when I come to my hometown. I moved out and live by myself an hour away and she still wants to tell me what to do. I’m not treated well when I’m at home, my dad is borderline mentally and emotionally abusive (I’m like 98% sure he’s actually a narcissist) and my mom doesn’t do anything about it, they treat me like a child and act like I’m immature when I try and come to an understanding if they try to boss me around. When I visit my hometown I usually stay with my friend but this last week I stayed at my bfs. He wasn’t even there! And she keeps messaging me that it’s embarrassing that I won’t stay at home and that i can’t stay at my bfs until we’re married. I’m an adult! I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel bad for siblings that’re still at home.

Been lied 2 my whole life, fake dad birth certificates and whole lot more to this story. Truth came out, I’m pissed. Depending on how this message 2 my REAL dad goes tn depends if I push this blade.

I have this crush on a boy but we no longer talk and it’s been like a year, we stopped texting during exams and I’ve always been too scared to text him. I so desperately want to at least give him this painting I made for his birthday that I never ended up giving him and it sucks so bad to just not know what to do. Since I lost contact with him I’ve been so stressed as my house burnt down during exams and I gotten very sick and other personal horrible things, I feel so lost with what to do with myself and I feel like I’m focusing on this crush to distract from everything else.

okay so deadass we’ve all seen crazy shit on Omegle right??? Anyway I got on ometv with my friends today cus we were bored and I cannot make this shit up. I was deadass busting out laughing bc I came across this dude from Finland, ofc he was wearing a mask cus he’s a coward but called me the hard r and did a Nazi salute (not anything new) so I was about to skip BUT TELL ME WHY THIS MF BRINGS OUT A BIG ASS WATERMELON OUT OF NOWHERE?? Like who tf buys an entire watermelon THAT big js to clown certain ppl u don’t like for whatever reason?? It came out of nowhere I was CRYING. Like wth??? Anyway another weird one was this like 40 yr old dude who looks like he still lives in his mom’s basement. Again nothing new except what he said, also we were joking around asking men if we could get them pregnant and after we asked him…HE SAID AND I QUOTE “can you rape my cock” HELLO??? I was baffled like yo?? do what now?? like I ain’t EVER had someone ask me that before. ometv is like hell but funny