All Rants

I'm at home now and it's raining hard, I was just thinking if I can really do this? What if I get tired? I'm a slow learner..

i really do want to die and let this hell end already, but i'm such a wimp and a moron that i cannot bring myself to do it.

I don’t know what it takes, either way, I haven’t figured it out. I feel almost delusional convincing myself I’m gonna die, because I’m exhausted and don’t really see a point in anything. But I’m too exhausted to try and do that myself, and partially believe everything is fine and will get better. I know I’ve bottled things up so much, I wouldn’t even be able to describe to someone how I feel, I actually dread telling people about it. I don’t understand the point in talking about my problems either anymore when no one has cared deeply enough or tried to understand enough, not to help me, but to hear me, even if it takes awhile. I’m so tired, I feel terrible

i really am nobody's favorite person, nobody's number one, nobody's best friend. there's a whole world out there, and not a single person would choose me first.

I don’t want to live anymore but I don’t want to die. Because what will happen? I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. Anyway I hope you’re having a great day to whoever’s reading this :D.

im becoming less and less capable of speaking with other people...

Please I can't do this anymore my dad is so infuriating. He told me to wake him up and I did. I came up to him and patted and called him gently while telling him to wake up. He woke up and started to scream loudly and put his hands on my hands as I tried to calm him down but I was also fucking freaked out. He calmed down and he scolded me not to do that, not to startle him like that again. I was so fucking confused. I literally did what any normal person would do. He has never admitted that he was wrong like bro, you are the one being so overly dramatic being on edge??? Like what the fuck do u want me to do?? Splash water to ur face of scream out loud to wake u up? Honestly, he is the type of person where if I do any other alternative way of waking him up, he'd still find a way to scold me.

my ''girlfriend'' has 2 celebrity crushes and im very unhappy with that. i've been considering trying to talk about this to her, but she would just hide it. my mind is been on breaking up for the past 1-2 week and i think i lost feelings for her, its always every day, wake up, call all day, go to sleep. no meets, and i don't feel like this could work anymore. she always asks 'whats wroong' tbh nothing else than her celeb crush, wait? there are a lot of problems. and i found out having a girlfriend isn't always that good and i think i could be better all alone again. if any of you guys feel the same way im sorry for you. i hope you guys's releationship gets better. but i don't think mine will work beacuse this is just too much.

Me and my partner have always been infatuated with another, I notice his patterns and I notice he is talking less, he's far less interested in what I have to say, doesn't give reassurance from his own will anymore and is far less affectionate. It's eating me alive but we are in a place where its not good or bad its just something he clocks into at the end of the day, says a few words and its that. I ask him to pull more effort and to show me he loves me and its always half assed, his mothers dog just died (for context he made fun of her grief over a "random" dog) and I had a conversation with him telling him I want us to work but he doesn't talk to me anymore, to which he said "im tired, my dog just died" I cant even question that, but I know it doesn't weigh on him at all, I wish he could understand how im feeling but I love him so much we're engaged, going to move in together soon and I really cant live without him, im not even a person without him. I dont know what to do

My father trauma dumped on me and now im unsure hos to feel or what to do... He informed me of his own depression, and unfortunately, that he had attempted to leave this world earlier this year. I was devastated reading that over a casual text while I was at work. Immediately I felt immense waves of guilt for not visiting him more often. I admit it has been a few months since I had gone to see him, but he could also come visit me. I called him this morning. He went into detail about some things in his life. He had an old friend use him and steal his things. He got into a fist fight with him and i worry he might be hurt and not telling me or seeking the help he needs. Dad is also claiming a woman, only two years older than me, is the love of his life. She is already a grandmother, neglects her children, and throws herself into work only to blow all her funds on drugs. I feel so sorry for this man. I dont know how or if I can even help him... What do I do?

i'm afraid i'm going to get harrassed online because someone called me a kid indirectly (along with other people) in a specific community. bulk random screenshots and i was the first person in the screenshots ig, my name was barely censored + my pfp wasn't censored at all and i got pinged by someone else anyways that saw it. the person that pinged me had no bad intentions, but it made it worse for me and them. everyone who appeared in the comment section that was either one of the people in the screenshots or the person that pinged me all got downvoted by someone just because we were there. i just hope nothing escalates. i unfollowed my comment, muted the community, and hid all of my activity for the time being and i might just nap away my frustration even though i'm not really tired. i just can't right now. i hate when this happens. why do i have to be so weak when someone harrasses me online?

i hate teacher tessa i hate aly i hte cyan i hate belle theyre athe reason why im not suspended i hate themNWR WAFJ

I'm ruining my relationship with my family and my only friend bc of my issues. I dont even if it's depression or wht,and i feel so suicidal it's really bad.like my parent are never rlly at home bc of their job and i js sit in my room and js sleep or watch stuff,since my parents arent really home i have to take care fo my brother and do chores with my sis and i cant even clean or take care of my brother like playing with him bc i feel so deppresed and i think my sister is having teh same problems. My parents aren't forcing me, but doing these things is something I have to do bc there is no one else who can, and ik that, but I wish it wasn't this way. I feel so guilty for not at least keeping the house clean, and ik my parents are tired and want to come home to a clean house, but I'm trying my best. I feel so guilty yelling at my brother all the time ik hes only 4, but I feel so depressed and hopeless i want/cant even speak sometimes.

I wish someone loved me and wanted to show me off and genuinely thought I was fun to hang out with. I'm a 19 year old virgin and people tell me to just wait, but I've been waiting my whole life. It sucks even more because I go to a huge college and people around me just seem to get what I can't have - like a reward for existing. I spent a lot of money on nice clothes this year, and I'm always trying to develop a personality and actually be fucking funny so I can have a chance. One of my deepest fears in life is never knowing what it's like to be someone's favorite person. I don't know why I have to try so hard. Or be patronized with "just wait" while it's effortless for everyone else who wants it.

I haven't talked to my long-distance bestie in like 6 months bc I like her romantically, and I'm rlly scared. She's my only friend, and I don't wanna lose her, and I'm having trouble accepting that I like girls and guys. I feel like I'm making excuses. I can't even tell her bc my mum lowkey doesn't let me have my devices, and when I do, I'm too scared or like not on my own. And I'm rlly sad knowing she prob won't like me back and like js can't face it. I cry every night, but I don't know what to do. I feel rlly disgusting liking my bsf; I'm not even homophobic. I was planning to tell her irl when I go back to my home country because I moved, but it's been 4 years since I've been telling her I'll come back to visit, and I feel so guilty bc of that. If you have any advice pls tell me ty hope you're doing ok

my ex is straight up just going by my name. what the fuck. why.

i rarely catch feelings for someone but when i do they show me why i shouldn't

no i don't wanna be a hookup i wanna be someone's cute gf that gets posted and be in real relationship

can't believe I'm going to middle school in 10 days I'm so nervous.. Any tips to help me on the first day?? -LG

For the longest time, I’ve been letting myself reach a state in which I care about things that shouldn’t have an effect on me, and putting things that determine me as a person aside. I constantly allow myself to be walked all over, let myself fall behind, and stopped putting myself first overall. In life, how you perceive yourself is the most important thing you need to find true value and love, and I lack that. Most people try to distract themselves from problems that are affecting their mood, but I continue to focus on the negatives and let myself wrap around things that make me feel sorrow. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect another person to love you. But how can I love myself when others don’t see the value I hold? I allow myself to be used because that's the closest thing to love I’ll ever feel, and try convincing people that I'm more than what they see, but how can they see it if I don’t let myself see it.