All Rants

i hate this so much. i have 5 other siblings who are constantly touching me my stuff and everything and breaking everything and my parents are so blind to it. when something breaks its my fault. my dad to my face tells me my little sister is the fav. i cant do anything without them having to come. i cant even leave the house because of them.

I have been trying so hard to convince my parents to let me get a short haircut, and my dad had to ruin it again. I was finally gonna get it, but he ruined it like he always does. I hate him so much. And it doesn’t help that he’s fucking transphobic. I was so excited, now I’m sitting on the bathroom floor crying. He doesn’t care about me, I could die for all he cares. He ruined my life and he couldn’t just let me have this one small moment. My mental health is shit and I can’t do this anymore. I’m just so fucking sick and tired of trying when I fail every single time.

the more I try to run from the darkness, the more it follows me so the question remains, do I keep on running or allow it to catch me ?

I've been struggling with a girl I didn't even date over a year ago. I just can't get her off of my mind and all my friends who I thought were real are just kinda fake so I've had to shift to new friends. I'm insanely self conscious and I can't take my mind off of my mistakes and people who have wronged me. I doubt the relationship with the girl would have even lasted but it's been hard to move on and it's been a slow process. It hurts a little part of me whenever I see her and I'm ready to move past highschool so I'm doing online so that I can hopefully graduate early but I'm worried that it'll just make the situation worse and dig me into an even deeper hole

I feel like such an awful person. My mother just bought me so much stuff and we’re going to a concert soon and on a shopping spree, but I completely forgot about her birthday and don’t know what to get her. She buys everything she wants, so I honestly don’t know. I feel like such an awful kid and I feel so greedy and disgusting and a fucking failure. I wanted to make a painting, but I don’t know what to paint to show my love for her. I honestly love her so fucking much and I feel so bad.

i hate you. your stupid pleads are nails on a chalkboard and you should just suck it up. you know that nobody cares, why keep going? i showed you that i care, yet you ran to others in the end. what is it that they have that i dont? do you know too much about me now? i know a lot about you now, we're in the same boat here, in this sinking, polluted nation. sometimes i wished i got head trauma so that i wont remember you, so that i didnt immediately think of you every time i saw something you like. unhealthy it is, and its my fault. whatever, im not gonna care anymore. if you want to talk, you know what to do. im here. im always here. im never leaving. you cant make me. i'll be here whether you like it or not. i hate you. so much so that im in love with you, you pathetic, rotten brat.

I'm so tired of doing everything I possibly can and it's never enough. I'm tired of struggling for the basics and still coming up short. I'm sick and tired of always worrying about money and never feeling like I'm providing like I should. I thought I'd be in a better place by now. I thought I'd be breath. I just want to stop wondering if I'll make it to the end of the month or not. I want to take my kids to get their eyes checked and not have to pick between getting them glasses or getting them groceries to eat. I make "too much" for assistance, but I'm barely scraping by every week. I can't do this anymore. I don't want my kids to remember their childhoods like this. I never expected to be a single mom. I just want to give them better than this.

I hate the way I look so much. I have fibromyalgia and since it got bad I've gained 3 to 4 stone and I just think I look awful. I want so bad to go back to how I was before, but I really struggle with exercise due to pain and I try to manage my diet but I'm autistic so I don't have a huge variety of safe foods. It just feels so hopeless, I'm constantly thinking about how much I hate myself and I can't fix it. I've tried not eating and I've tried making myself vomit (I know I shouldn't but I've gotten to a dark place) but nothing helps.

im so scared for my mom she's so down and depressed and i still have 2 younger siblings and im too selfish to let her get down this much i just want her to be better for them because i dont see myself having the strength to help my little siblings its so fucking selfish but my mom is so depressed over what grandma says and we cant even fucking leave because my grandma doesnt have anyone else but us and i want my mom to be selfish for once and pick us over her mom but thats still her mom so really im so fucking awful

i hate that my mom is being treated like a fucking teenager by my grandmother, its like we're both still 17 and getting screamed at about being home later is so demeaning. for fucks sake you're 70 bro , you're daughter is in her mid 40s im IN COLLEGE im 20 im literally the last youngest teen, you're daughter doesnt need a fucking curfew to hang out with her own daughter at 11 pm man

I don't know what to do with my mother anymore. I feel nothing but deep pain. Every day is the same,yelling at me, being forbidden from doing ANYTHING, then endless crying and crying and crying all i do is crying and thinking of kms but i don't really wanna die bc that what she want and i won't give it to her Oh God, I HATE this woman.

hello, I havea problem w my bf, nang gguilt trip kasi siya. and what I did is the mirror method. There's something wring with our rs na kasi which I don't bring up kasi di niya naiintindihan kahit sabihin niyang gets niya pinaglalaban at pinaglalaban niya side niya.

I feel as if my friends don't like me as much as I like them, I constantly try to hang out with them and talk with them but they take super long to reply and they never ever ask me to hang out, I understand they could have their own thing going on but it does hurt me a lot seeing my only few friends being so distant towards me.

well, i am lonely. i have one person who may sometimes choose me over everyone else, and thats good. but i mostly wouldnt choose them or anyone because they dont know the real me. i kind of put on an act depending on the person SUBCONCIOUSLY. a lot of the time i want to talk about myself, my beliefs interests and more. but im afraid. im afraid ill be an attention seeker if i do this. i think im quite humble but these urges are unfortunate. i never act on them. ive also got a problem. i get addicted to people i hardly know. not a minute goes by where i cant think of them. its driving me insane. i think maybe because deep down i know no one may feel that way about me so i try and be that for others. pls help if you can

I'm 19 years old and I am absolutely incompetent socially; I'm scared how my life will turn out. People at work slowly figure out they can bully me, interviewers laugh at me under their breath, and people generally patronize me then push me away if I try to be funny and make a friend. I look very normal but as soon as I open my mouth you can clock that I'm socially lagging. The same thing happens if I am too quiet and can't match the vibe. It makes me hopeless and sad.

Im so scared of my dad now. My cat shitted on the dogs bed and apparently my dad told me he kicked him. And then lectured me and yelled at me for so long (he started at 9am and stopped at 11am) and then one of the dogs shitted on the floor but he didn't know who so he grabbed one of the dogs and put their face in the shit and then HIT them and then grabbed the other one and did the same but he also throw them down on the ground I hate it here I genuinely dont want to live here he keeps physically abusing the animals so they will "obey" him. When will he realized that hitting them won't work it'll just make them scared. And now im scared. -LG

People who are friends with people you hate and your ex friends are not really your friends

Ive come to terms with it, someone i thought was a good friend to me, wasn't really good. We kept feeding off each other and gradually become more toxic and begin to assume things of each other. I cant stand my friend anymore but maybe its also the process of aging and being in a different life stage that is affecting it. Suddenly, I dont feel much for it anymore, nor am I hopeful in the continuation of this friendship. If its gone, then I am okay with it. Things have to move on. And I have to move on too.

I wish i didn't have to try so hard, I wish i didnt have to wake up every day having to starve myself to feel like im actually liked. every day i look in the mirror and just think im fucking ugly, fat, gross, undesirable. always trying to compete with other people, wanting strangers to look at me the way they look at others. Its infurating. and i just stay quiet about it cause who gives a fuck? do they wanna hear me tell them im envious of your looks and that i think im ugly all the time? no course not why would they wanna hear such bullshit. i wish i didnt care. i wish i didnt have to try to hard to be happy, to feel like i am desired. Days where i feel like i dont wanna eat cause itll just make me fat, and i try to bring my personality out more but at the end of the day, they're looking at me and i feel thats all that matters anymore, people can be fucking cunts but oh if they look attractive it doesn't matter. Why do i spend all my time trying to impress people when i get nothin

“what do you think you’ll do after you graduate?” i don’t know… i wasn’t supposed to make it this far…