Recent Rants
im having suicidal thoughts again. thoughts about hurting myself. i hate myself so much. but i cant bear to imagine my boyfriend alone. when i have these thoughts i sometimes wish he found someone better so he wouldnt have to deal with me. i love him so much but i dont know how to love myself and i dont want it to hurt him. i hope he knows how much i love him and how much better hes made my life. i dont want to burden him with this emotional weight. i love him so much it hurts.
I'm having a hard time with my wife, and am thinking about separating. I also have feelings for another woman, which makes me question my motives. if I'm going to break up with someone I want it to be about my relationship with them, not because I'm infatuated with someone else. The fear of doing this for the wrong reasons has kept me in my current relationship, and kept me unhappy and stressed.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
Is it that effing hard to validate me? Fam doesn't want to. They go through heaps of b s like I do. I get questioned and or gaslit every time near I talk about my frustrations to them. But one them will go back into the past at times about their issues resentment and stuff and I listen, but I just mostly get sour sarcastic yeah or some rough crap response. The b s meter is max what I deal with and have dealt with lately. Crazy public, wack ass drivers who can't drive worth crap, dramatic family, drunken raging family, disrespectful loud ass thympety karen neighbors adult and kid alike who rob me of my sleep, anxiety, etc. And my fam theyre not concerned because they are in their own world usually. They don't get what I feel.
i feel so alone. i feel like cutting again but ive come so far. i dont know who to talk to and i just want to disappear.
i used to joke that I was cursed, but I really don't think it's a joke anymore. things just never go right, and yes some of it is my fault, but some of it just seems kind of absurd. for one this week i somehow got black out drunk (badly) off of 4 shots (way less then my friends had) and basically was unconscious for 5 hours in front of everyone. i was in a class today and my nose randomly started gushing blood and my wifi would just not work. i've failed my driving test twice - once because I misheard the instructor, and the other time because I parked just a smidge too far from the curb (not a real reason imo). i got my bikini top somehow tied in my hair and i genuinely lost a whole chunk of hair and it's noticeable. i also have to hang out with my talking stage, who I don't think I even like at this point, tomorrow because the last time he tried to kiss me he missed my mouth FOUR times. so ya if anyone knows a witch to reverse this lmk bc this is all within the last 72 hours.
Wow. I never would have thought it would come to this, having to search for somewhere to vent and get all my thoughts out but here I am. I don't really know how to start this but recently I've been very sad and angry at the world, people, myself and more. I recently talked to this boy for a very long time and yet we stopped talking about a month ago and he has moved on and let go at least I think and I'm still hungry up on him and how gentle he was with me until he wasn't. It wasn't that he did anything to physically hurt me but he moved on and left before I could even lose feelings and he was so kind and understanding. side note My dad wasn't the best growing up but he tried twards the end of his life he was sober and even had a girlfriend and my mom and him split when I was two or so because he was into some bad stuff but how he died is even worse. The cops told us he died from a sh situation but my family swears he was murd3rd. And with how tall he was it makes a lot of sense.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
My boyfriend of a year and a half just told me he was diagnosed with Asperger's. He told me yesterday. I feel hurt he didn't disclose his diagnosis from the start of our relationship as I was very open with him about my diagnosis. His mom even told him to never tell me 😭. Any advice
i want to die. i don't want to sugarcoat it anymore, i just want to kill myself. life is going wrong, i am in danger, one slip and my life is over all because im loving who i love. all because i chose to live my life how i want. i am not the same religion as you, i don't care that my partner is another race, i don't care that i don't experience attraction and gender the way you approve of, i don't care about what you consider shameful. why do i have to live in constant fear just because i chose to chose these things, why do i have to hide them or risk abuse and death? i am tired, i wanna die and i don't care anymore.
Is it normal for your family to just walk around the house in their underwear whenever they want, go a few days without showering, and smack their lips when eating? They seem to have NO problem with it but I find these behaviors absolutely disgusting and very inconsiderate. I'm wondering if I'm overreacting or if there's something wrong with my disgust tolerance and I just need to get over it.
my mom has absolutely infuriated me today and i kinda just wanna complain about it :/ .. i texted her at 1am (about 1hr ago) because i was stuck on my bathroom floor cos of my period. i had to lie down because i was so dizzy when i was standing that i couldn't see, and i was in a lot of pain and shivering. she comes down eventually, but before she even does, the first thing she has to do is complain and complain and complain. she complained twice coming downstairs, she complained about me texting her at night, she complained about not being able to stand and walk properly and complained about her hand being numb which honestly just pissed me off because can you not do that more than once while i'm shivering and not breathing properly because of how much pain i'm in? all she did was give me medicine that barely helps because i still can't move and won't be able to sleep. she does this literally every time. how hard is it to help your disabled child stand up..
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
In December of 2024, on the 29, my friend killed herself. It would be a lie saying i moved on, because i never did. She was one of the rare people who cared about me and came to my house when i couldn't come to school anymore due to my bullying. Her parents pushed her so hard. I will forever feel guilty never reaching out when I had her number in my contacts. I feel like I failed her even more when somebody got murdered Infront of my house. I'm always scared something might happen at night, and I feel like by letting this poor boy die, I let her die.
Spectrum gig internet is total scam, spectrum is a garbage company, and their services are crappier than a port a potty at a truck stop. They charge for gig speed internet and when you run the speed test come to find its not even running regular speeds. Spectrum total monopolizes this area. Spectrum is absolute dumpster garbage
I hope anyone can see this. I just want somone to notice my problems, its too much for me to keep to myself. I have no motivation anymore, I feel like im throwing my life away. I have alot of friends, yet I sit every night and think about everything. I just wanna reach the point in my life where I got freedom, and when I can work, get money, and do what I like. But im still in school, and it has reached the point where I cant keep up, im exhuasted. I dont know what to do anymore, and school starting in a week doesnt make anything better. It just eat me up instead, as a kid I thought life wasnt that hard, now once im older, I see it isnt like that. I suffer mental health issues now instead, I dont wanan die, I really dont. I wanna live out my life, because I know that I one day will make it. But do I got everything it takes to reach that point? Thats what I think is the problem, I lack everything needed im not smart, im not happy, and everything is just too much. I need motivation. Pls.
brooooooo i PAY her and she doesnt text back i need her shes my therapist wtfff im crashing out this is so unprofessional but shes such a good fit otherwise i cant imagine being w smb else
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
Something that’s come to me out of my frustration. “ If you claiming you hearing voices & have a “gift” if it’s a “gift” you’d discern whether it’s external or internal whether it’s feelings or what have you. Or it’s going to consume you & make you ruin yourself & relationships with others cause it doesn’t affect me it goes by & I pay it no mind cause what God does is has it as a warning that if it’s false it won’t happen so no need to magnify it if it’s real it will come to light in its own & that’s the safest way. Or you’ll be to blame if it’s all in your head. You won’t know what’s real from reality if you keep honing in on those voices & making them a part of your emotions. ” He didn’t bring me this far to leave me. Ebbs & flows. Victory or defeat. I have a choice. I just will not give up. I’ve come way far from almost a decade ago.
today for the first time I actually felt the loneliest I ever have. I had a camp for a sport and its from 9 am to 4 pm. I knew people there but they all had friends they chose and would choose over me. I normally am a backup friend yea sure but having literally no one is something else. I ate lunch inbetween 2 friend groups (that idk) and i js ate in silence while they were talking about their grad dresses and boyfriends. I felt so out of place. I still have 5 more days and yeah sure its only the first day but this is gonna be so idek how to describe it but the worst.
Does anyone have good ways to distract yourself from sh? I wanna cut but I know I shouldn’t so like are there things that are helpful to do to think about?
School hasn’t even started yet and I’m scared it will be too much. I’m prepared to be burned out. It’s not just the work though, I just switched friend groups to a less toxic one, and I already know I’m going to be so jealous of the old one, because it was the popular one. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful to have the friends I do now, but I am such a jealous person. I care so much about what people think about me, even now, as I’m ranting, I keep wanting to go back to my previous words to add how 6 out of my 8 classes as an 8th grader are high school classes. When I go to high school, It’ll be a high school that my old friend group isn’t going to, just to be away and maybe have a fresh start. I’m counting down the days until then, one year until I’m a little less burnt out from my old friends, and my homework. I’ve just always been counting down and I hate it. Every year I count down until the summer for freedom, but school just comes again. I can’t wait for it to be over. When tho?