All Rants

i don’t think they like me back. those signs are for someone else.

Personally, I think joking abt trauma is ok bc it’s a coping mechanism for some people but when OTHER PEOPLE joke abt YOUR trauma, that’s just fucking disrespectful and rude and mean. My toxic ex (he also didnt respect my boundaries) used to make jokes abt my dead parent bc I joked abt them as a coping mechanism, and it always shocked me but ig I deserve it? On my birthday, I was struggling with mental health and my family KNEW and the second I blew the candles out on the cake, one of my family members told me I could kms now since I was officially a teen. They also knew I had “birthday depression” (I’ve locked myself in my room and sobbed on my birthday everyday since I was 10, idk why) AND I HAD FRIENDS OVER SO I FELT LIKE I COULDNT JUST LOCK MYSELF AWAY. They also make jokes abt my sh and my sh scars and I just feel like I deserve it sometimes but sometimes I feel like they need to GTFO OF MY ISSUES

at this point im just faking being happy around people, i mean my family ACTUALLY sees me happy but on the outside, my friends, my classmates, the people i work, i say everythings fine and that im happy but in reality no. i ask myself why am i even unhappy, is this just part of growing up? i guess im probably craving a friendship that actually cares just 2 people and a healthy, friendly, inseparable relationship. anyway i hope we all someday will feel the freedom of happiness in the future even if its so hard u cant do stuff

Everything itches so bad. I wanna peel off my skin and bathe in acid. My hair feels super oily. My own body is disgusting me so much.

My dad makes me uncomfortable. He is super weird. Every time during the evening i sit in the living room to have a convo or watch a movie with him he literally touches his genitals. I get very uncomfortable and grossed out i sometimes try to ignore it or i just leave and say I'm tired. I don't know if he thinks i don't notice, but maybe its not in a weird way. He did this when we were visiting family in broad daylight. Does it itch or what.. Idk but i get super uncomfortable. Is it normal? I just wish he never does it again.

will college really become better? im staying in my city for college but genuinely like everyone says youll find your person when ur in college. i really hope they aint lying cuz my whole life i have been waiting for MY kind of bestfriend, not a trio, group, ex bestfriend who left for good, whatever, please

I genuinly dont want friends. They dont even notice me. The whole friend group is there, and then I just leave even when I say I have to go. I asked another one of my friends how to deal with grief since I recently lost my parents to cancer, and she just said "I dont know, but do you think these nails look cute? I think [another friend, her crush] likes them." I told her my parents died and she was like, "Okay, mood killer here. I'll just ask [same friend, same crush]" I dont even talk much in real life, which is okay for the friend group, but suddenly when I do talk, everyone wants to talk. Complete silence and calmness before I try recommending a nice restaurant nearby. I was interrupted by the same girl and guess who.. Her crush! They both talk about how they want the whole group to hang out guess where.. Alaska! It sounded fun before they told me only I have to pay for my own ticket since I'm "The Richest" in the friend group, when in reality, i just have a lot of jobs.

I feel so bad for everyone here dude I just wanna wrap everyone up in blankets in a slightly cold room so they’re not too warm and not too cold and we can give each other henna tattoos and read books and listen to each others music bc yall are so worth everything ily sm <333 (We can also vent to each other in person if that makes you feel better, I WILL listen bc you deserve to be heard and get that weight off of your shoulders if this website isn’t doing it for you)

I'm so tired of my family giving me mixed signals , they act nice one minute but as soon as I don't do everything according to them they get aggresive and their words are what hurts the most. I have been dealing with this since i was like 6-7 years old , they ask me why I shout , argue and cry so much why I don't spend time with them when they are the problem, if I don't shout I don't get heard , I get dismissed and then I get hit by them and all I want is to be stress free for one day and I'm in my last year of highschool and the University applications and everything with exams is just taking a toll on me why dealing with things at home , they treat me like im not one , saying things like I should have never been born or i should just go away and scold me badly for crying , I'm so tired I can't do this , I just wanna go far away from home .

I miss my mom so much. She passed away early last year. My birthday was a month later. She bought me a gift before she got too sick to get out of bed. I felt nothing but sadness when I saw it and couldn’t thank her. Everything reminds me of her. Even if I had a great day, I lie in bed at night and can’t help but cry. Last week, I found out I’m pregnant. I’m sad she can’t be here. I feel so sick and alone. She was the only one in my family who decorated for celebrations. She always made sure to bring everyone a thoughtful gift. She made everyone feel cared for and loved. I wish she were here. I just want her guidance and love. I don’t have the strength she did. I’m so scared to do this without her.

Stuck in hell. No art friends, no gaming friends, no sex ones, no hobbies and still dealing with guilt about being a piece of shit. End me. Don't bother making me feel better, this is my life now.

bro i actually feel like such a horrible person, i can't even take care of myself or be happy, i just want to be happy bro oh my gosh. i haven't showered for nearly 2 weeks and i cant even change clothes properly, like i just repeat the same outfits and what i wear, i'm so fucking exhausted, my hairs a mess, my lifes a mess my mental health is a mess.....do you guys think i'll make it? like...make it to 18 yrs old? i hope so...but i also don't hope so...i js wanna be gone oh my gosh..

I fantasize about being shot everyday. I don't mind being stabbed or anything too.

i hate to feel this way....but i feel like the villian of my own story

I just want a letter. A handwritten letter. Is that so hard to ask for? It’s been five years and I keep having it ask for it. I want the same thing every time, yet they never remember. Or maybe they just don’t care enough to do it. Maybe one day they’ll do it on their own. Maybe one day we won’t be together.

I want people to treat me the way I treat people. Nobody notices when I’m upset or when I’m sad or feeling down. But whenever someone even looks a bit hesitant, I always try and try and try to help and make sure they feel okay. Nobody knows I cry myself to sleep. Or listen to sad songs as I sob. Or that beneath all the sassiness that I use as confidence because “faking it till you make it” really works is really fake. I just wanna be loved. Really. Really badly.

(Not serious) so, my dad thought that AI kept recycling the same water for the data centers, and thought the internet just wanted an excuse to complain about data centers, and made a AI song about death lettuce (he didn't post it, don't worry), and didn't listen to me, my sister, or my mom about the AI using DIFFERENT water each time,

I cant understand. When I had a partner, attention from me was like honey to a bee. I do not care about a relationship. I do love you romantically. But I value our friendship that much more. I never considered how much I love you till I no longer had a friendship to focus on. It makes me mad i allowed myself to push my emotions down. As you slowly tried to pull me in. I was on a pedestal i asked to be taken down from. When confronted with that you didn’t realize you put me on a pedestal till I gave examples. My reads are always right. Until they aren’t right? You said I was smart the last time we talked. You know I dont claim to be smart. But i think that was the best compliment that you could come up. I know you love me. Your birthday is tomorrow. Somehow i know u wish I was apart of it? You promised to stop intentionally hurting me. You admitted to coming up with ways to hurt me so I would leave. I know i matter more than anyone. And that is scary

i hate how we all built this new thing of letting people on delivered for nothing coz having access to others so much was supposed to be so we could also talk more but no we fake things like prioritising our health while doomscrolling on TikTok and letting the people we were supposed to be close to on delivered when things are important for nothing

Jason on heavy rain just died for the plot ethan took the whole impact of the car devs just wanted him to be depressed… straight up bullshit