All Rants

School rant. I. Am. So. FUCKING MAD So if you haven't been a dumbass for the past month, it's August, school is starting soon, not that bad, we have to do it, even if it makes me wanna rip my ears off. TELL ME WHY THE GENUSES AT AVERY COUNTIES SCHOOL BOARD, DECIDED TOGIVE ME MATH 3 IN THE FUCKING MORNING. MF IM IN 10TH GRADE BTW, I SHOULDNT HWVE TO WAKE UP TO THE DUMBFUCKMGEE'S IN MY CLASS TALKING BOUT SOME "Hehehehe 67 haha" MF STFU BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW Mf I wanna dream about my little pony and The Eyes That Watch let me fucking sleep 💔✌️ And I swear on my LIFE. I better not get a lunch period without my ENTIRE gang (friend group) LIKE THEY CAN ACTUALLY MAKE MY DAY BETTER.. and not to mention that basically everyone there dislikes me. LIKE DUMBFUCKMGEE BETTER NOT COME UP TO ME AND SAY “HeH mY fRieNd lIkes YoU HEehaHHhahaHHhahaHha” LIKE I GENUINELY SWEAR TO GOD if I go back to school and some bum ass popular girls ask me "ArE wE bEsTieS" or "My FrIeNd LikEs YoU" Im genu

I feel like I'm being persecuted. There's no one to persecute me.

okay bruh so idk if I’m supposed to say this but I’m the same person who made the rant abt my mom yelling at me for losing her phone in her room, being tired like pretty much a half asleep zombie with how I was feeling and leaving my ice cream in the fridge. so i remembered i actually returned it to my mom before sleeping and put it on the charger for her bc she ended up finding her phone in the car 🫩 um so yeah atleast she told me but I didn’t get an apology from either of my parents from how much they were yelling at me and making me cry and made me lose my appetite but whatever brah. anyway this shit is so annoying like apparently my moms always right so ofc I get cussed out for hours ✌️

Just wanted this off my chest. I hate that letter-writing is gone now. I don't mind typewritten vs handwritten. I don't care much for grammar, or in which language it's in. I don't care if it's a post it note or a multi-page letter. What I miss is people putting effort into expressing their thoughts or feelings in writing at all. I love the minor erasures and typos, I love "hearing" how they would talk in written form, I love the streams of consciousness, personal anecdotes, etc. Lately had to print letters from family members and family friends (they don't like to write with a pen, they don't know how to create a doc, let alone print it out) and they told me, proudly, that they used AI to write the entirety for them. Maybe it's just my community. Maybe I'm being "too old school" (I'm 32). But I would just feel empty if I received an AI piece as a send-off letter from the people I love and grew up with. I wouldn't have any emotional attachment to keep a letter generated by a machine.

i’m i this group chat with my irl friends and some of their online friends and i get along with most of my irl’s online friends quite well, but there’s this one that i don’t think really likes me, and that isn’t the problem i honestly don’t really care but today i mentioned one of my favorite music artists and we all started to talk about music and him and one of my irls started to like make fun of my music, now we usually make fun of each other so this wasn’t a problem and it was all just jokes but.. this is music that actually saved me… i know it was just jokes but it still hurt…

ive started crying at the smallest things and i hate it. ill watch a video of someone just saying something like "you're doing great <3" or "youre worth it" and then ill tear up. idk why and i wish it would just stop. im fine. im not doing great but i could be doing a lot worse so im fine. I feel like an attention seeker for it, almost like im only reacting that way for the sake of people thinking that im struggling or something. Ik it doeant really make sense but thanks for listening <3

It honestly pisses me off so bad when your frenemy is in the same group as you, especially when she’s the leader because she basically gets to decide everything and do whatever she wants. Yesterday during our performance, I literally just became a statue on the side holding a picture..Like, the script could’ve easily been expanded so everyone could have more lines and a fair amount of participation, but nope. I barely got to do anything. Hayst, I seriously hope people with hidden animosity toward me get phased out of my life because I’m so done with that energy

I hate how everything lately has been so f*cked up… I don’t want to eat, I want to self harm, I want a different body, and I want a better life. I attempted suicide almost 11 times by now, hanging by a single thread. I’ve been struggling ever since in moved to homeschool, while friends were one of the only things keeping me alive. I’ve been trying not to self harm like my sister, but I keep having thoughts. Suicidal ones. I want to f*cling kill myself and make everyone happier without me. I want to scream my f*cking lungs out. I’ve been holding back for too long, being kind, polite, while being treated like Sh*t. I want to f*cking die and kill myself painfully.

it's so hard to get out of bed, it's like my body doesn't wanna move. i just wanna lay down and never wake up.

it occurs to me i wrote about being a lesbian and feeling isolated i should point out im not a teenager im in my mid 30s if you are a young lesbian make friends with other lesbians

sometimes being a lesbian is so isolating if you don't have any lesbian friends. the default assumption of attraction to men is baked into everything including assuming i have to have some men i care about (i really truly dont) because itd be Weird otherwise. i dont give a fuck i love women and im sick of feeling like i have to pretend a man looks attractive to soothe other peoples feelings

my whole life my sister was the same kind of person who said hurtful things and acted like she was better than everyone. you could tell she thought she was better than our parents too. that's how bad it was. ive recently havent been able to contain my anger anymore because we had a huge argument. i never liked reading books and havent read much but when my sister was reading a harry potter book i said how i read to book 5 of the series and she just replied with "that's sad". and ofc it hurt me because i was expecting maybe some encouraging words telling me to read the rest but no it just had to be "thats sad" i just havent been able to properly talk to her now because even if we "Talk it out" i know the way she talks is just gonna throw me off. and when she does say hurtful stuff, she never apologizes to me and im assuming its because she thinks shes better than everyone.

the only person i have just left for college 2 hours away and im expected to just keep going as if nothing happened. and trying to schedule a day to spend together is so fucking difficult bc he’s busy all day everyday with his sports and never has any time to see me. i have to work so much in order to afford everything and then school starts in a week and there’s literally zero time to see each other. we went from together everyday to maybe 1 or 2 times a month. and he didn’t even want to do this he was forced into it and now we’re being separated for no good reason. i just wanna see my person i get so lonely my life is so sad when he’s not around i don’t have anyone to talk to or any support at all

im just so damn frustrated with everything. being the youngest out of my sisters, i feel like im always being babied. im almost turning fifteen and everyone has social media and can do whatever they want. i used to be able to ignore my time limits on my phone and access tiktok and instagram freely. but now my dad put limits on literally everything and i cant ignore the limits anymore. i havent found a good reason for even having a phone anymore except for my location and being able to contact people. ive calculated it and the apps that i enjoyed and consistently used were limited to only 58 minutes. so i could only access 58 minutes of the apps that i actually enjoyed. i can't even do anything fun like play valorant because my dad wont let me use the laptop. and i know there are so many other things i could do but how could he just take away everything that made me happy? theres no fun in my life anymore and watching netflix on the tv the whole day is not gonna make me feel happy.

Im going to attempt tonight.... my life keeps getting more and more hellish each day and i just cant take it anymore.. I hate everything.

I went here to ventt and the moment i returned i saw a text from a friend saying if i told anybody shed beat the shit out of me damnit im worried im scared i didnt know i needed to get it out i didnt want to burden anybody after all

Imsofuckingscared and im not kidding i didn't know a friend blocked me on sunday And then another friend asked me what happened between me and her I WAS SO CONFUSED my friend said she didn't want to talk to me for a while so I respected that … but then later that day she unblocked me and asked me if I hated her, I didnt respond because I didnt notice. Then she blocked me again and THEN i noticed and now I cant stop thinking about her Shes blocked me on all accounts except her vent accounds and Im too scared to reach out to her on it because what if she blocks me again? I tried on pinterest but no response, I sent the message a day ago, she was online on pinterest two hours ago I know that a bunch of people dont check their notifications sometimes so maybe she simply didnt notice but a part of me keeps overthinking it I couldnt sleep last night because of this whole thing Im worried My friend said she made a psot about killing herself… im worried. I cant just stand here…

I have to take care of my little 4 yo brother with my sister whose 16. I'm 14 and we take care of him all day every day after school and only on like 1 day of the week we don't when my mum's home. It's been like this for more than a year. Sometimes my dad's there, mostly not because he lives in another country. My mum works all day every day so we both have to take care of him and like me and my sis basically raising him right because what else can my family do? That's not the problem, it's just that I'm really suicidal and depressed so I don't think I take care of him well. I can't even do the chores. I'm sure my sis is going through something similar too and I feel horrible because I can't be nice to him. I know even if I'm not a grown up,if it affects his childhood its my fa. I've not been able to get out of bed during the holidays and I can't even take care of my brother. My sis has been doing it and I hate this. I feel so guilty I just want to die. I feel do guilty i wonna kms/

college is rlly eating me up fr . i chose a medical course and it's PT so ion even know if i have the skills for it . but that's what school is for isn't it? to learn. all im hoping for tbh is that i have the strength anfd motivation to finish this degree . idk i've been wanting to see if there are other doctors / PTs who were introverts or not "smart" but still managed to finish college and all . i feel more motivated to see ppl who aren't "special" like just abt average succeeding .. i js need smth topush myself to do this

I'm just crying bc some angel who understands me perfectly sent me a long and sweet note. I can't remember the last time I received such kind words from anyone. I don't know if you'll see this, but I'm so grateful and thank you for your advices it's really helpful and i can actually realte 🙏🏻Just knowing there are people like me makes me so happy:) I wish you all the best in your life <33