All Rants

Everywhere i go, im not welcome or needed. Surprised I'm not a domestic terrorist yet.

I wish i had a gun so i could shoot myself in the head and not live this life that has been given to me anymore.

"Fuck off and die."- My dad after refusing him sympathy for his fake illness

my dad is actually so horrible. he doesn't act like a parent at all and he just constantly insults me and belittles me, like he'll call me the r slur or autistic or say im weird or awkward or whatever. he just made me do all of HIS paperwork that i didnt want to do just because "he didnt want to do it" when it is literally HIS RESPONSIBILITY AND JOB TO DO THAT PAPERWORK. im so tired of constantly having to live with a horrible racist homophobic misogynistic man who refuses to listen to me or what i need im SO READY TO MOVE OUT

My uncle is being weird and evil in the other room right now, he’s a teacher at a highschool and what he’s talking about right now is specifically geared towards his school and students. His weird take is that “I don’t care if you need accommodations or benefits, you bats great for you, but why does it have to involve me?” He’s given some examples but i can hardly hear him but what u can make out is that there’s one kid, just one, that has some sort of something and the teachers/staff had to have a talk about whatever it is, and he “doesn’t understand why everyone had to be there, when it’s just one kid” and another thing was about some kid with a shellfish allergy and then the whole classroom the kid was in had to be moved somewhere safer from the potential allergen and everyone in the school had to have a talk and reworking around this allergen and he again, doesn’t like that all that change has to be made for just one kid, it’s insane, evil and I can’t say anything to him about it.

I hate how I can't stop binge eating. Im so fat and I eat everything in the house. Im genuinely obese. And my family notices too. I know they dont mean too but they make me feel bad when I can't control it. They dont know that im struggling with this though. But they still say stuff like "why does she eat all of this in the house" i get why they say it but still. I just can't stop eating its all i think about

so, basically, i am an edater. and honestly, so many people will think that that's lowkey justifies what im going through right now, and tbh ??? . . . kinda does. my online bf is basically just flat out ignoring me, and it honestly seems like he does not care about our relationship. im beginning to hate him entirely because he's so evident he's not putting an work in it anymore like he used to and doesn't like me anymore, but i wish he'd just say it instead of leaving me without a reply daily.

My mom got me a baleada, I was excited to eat it too. My dad gave it to my step brother because he was hungry. I’m not even mad he gave him MY food but it’s the principle that it was brought for ME to be the one to enjoy. It’s been a pet peeve of mine for a while that mom will send me with food that she makes for me or that she bought for me and he’ll just give it to everyone without even asking me if I’m okay with it. Hell, I WAS planning on eating it before he gave it away but no “you’re not eating it right now so you must’ve not have wanted it that much.” That’s what makes me mad, mostly it’s the fact that he doesn’t even ask me, he just does. If he were to ask me, mostly likely, I would’ve said yes but he never does. It’s why I keep my stuff in my room and don’t bring it out. Now, I am hungry but I can’t eat what I was planning on eating. He just texted me that he ordered me a new one but it’s not the same as the fact that my Mom went out of her way to get one for me.

My fiance finished inside me, I told him not to and now I feel horrible for being upset by it because he’s beating himself up over it. Either way I don’t feel like I can trust him for intimacy anymore on the off chance he prioritizes his own pleasure over my trust and safety. Every other thing was perfect but he’s been pushing more lately and I’m kind of scared. I just feel guilty

I decided to delete my social media because that's where I found out my "freind" has been lying to me about everything for months now and it's how I found out my partner's of the past have been cheating on me. I think i'm better off without those apps full of LIARS.

Why do I always attract dumb bitches who use me, abandon me for other people who end up backstabbing them, and then coming back to me because they're "all alone" again. I'm SICK of that shit!!! You CHOSE to leave me in the dust for your NEW FRIENDS who used your ass and tossed you like trash. I HATE being used as a backup and I HATE NEVER being a priority unless somebody needs something or has no other friends. Nobody ever sees me as a REAL friend, I'm just a backup and I'm tired of the dumb bitches always getting hurt. I wish I was good at making new friends like everyone else who've replaced and abandoned me and I'm tired of always letting those who abandon me back into my life. :(

I hate having ppl care about me sometimes. Makes my mania harderlol

im a shy person, a really shy one. and now im starting my internship which is an obligation by my uni. today, i wanna try to learn to be a braver and spread some kindness. the thing is, i think the universe hates me so much because as soon as im doing something that i think will benefit others, it backfires me. so, i was taking a bus to my workplace. the bus cant go to my designated station because its jammed in a traffic. it put me down at the somewhere further than i should. i found someone waiting a bus at my designated station. i said to him that the bus cant get through because its jammed and i was put down at somewhere furthere than here. he listen to me, and he start walking to the place i said. as i walk to my workplace, i saw the bus going at my designated station. im so scared, i dont know if this is only in my mind and because im so pessimistic. but i started to think bad stuff, what if he wanted a revenge on me because i made him walk far (i know it might be a silly thought

So my "best friend" is friends again with a girl who bullied the fuck out of me through out high school to the point I was suicidal and she defends and love this girl too by telling me "Just because you don't like her doesn't mean I can't fuck with her. My relationship with her is different from yours. Sorry" She's prioritized and has spent more time with her than she has me the entire year. Then my boyfriend is a suicidal, depressed, misogynist who has meltdowns every time a woman rejects him in public. Idk why he cares so much about other women hurting his ego when he's in a relationship with ME. I've been flirting with him and being affectionate and he is STILL a negative mess and I can't take it anymore. I'm cutting off both of them and staying alone for a while. I fucking hate them BOTH! :(

3 days clean but the urges be strong.

told the girl i was going to marry when i turned 18, she gon have to wait until im 30, not marrying her until i suck off the entire town.

School rant. I. Am. So. FUCKING MAD So if you haven't been a dumbass for the past month, it's August, school is starting soon, not that bad, we have to do it, even if it makes me wanna rip my ears off. TELL ME WHY THE GENUSES AT AVERY COUNTIES SCHOOL BOARD, DECIDED TOGIVE ME MATH 3 IN THE FUCKING MORNING. MF IM IN 10TH GRADE BTW, I SHOULDNT HWVE TO WAKE UP TO THE DUMBFUCKMGEE'S IN MY CLASS TALKING BOUT SOME "Hehehehe 67 haha" MF STFU BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW Mf I wanna dream about my little pony and The Eyes That Watch let me fucking sleep 💔✌️ And I swear on my LIFE. I better not get a lunch period without my ENTIRE gang (friend group) LIKE THEY CAN ACTUALLY MAKE MY DAY BETTER.. and not to mention that basically everyone there dislikes me. LIKE DUMBFUCKMGEE BETTER NOT COME UP TO ME AND SAY “HeH mY fRieNd lIkes YoU HEehaHHhahaHHhahaHha” LIKE I GENUINELY SWEAR TO GOD if I go back to school and some bum ass popular girls ask me "ArE wE bEsTieS" or "My FrIeNd LikEs YoU" Im genu

I feel like I'm being persecuted. There's no one to persecute me.

okay bruh so idk if I’m supposed to say this but I’m the same person who made the rant abt my mom yelling at me for losing her phone in her room, being tired like pretty much a half asleep zombie with how I was feeling and leaving my ice cream in the fridge. so i remembered i actually returned it to my mom before sleeping and put it on the charger for her bc she ended up finding her phone in the car 🫩 um so yeah atleast she told me but I didn’t get an apology from either of my parents from how much they were yelling at me and making me cry and made me lose my appetite but whatever brah. anyway this shit is so annoying like apparently my moms always right so ofc I get cussed out for hours ✌️

Just wanted this off my chest. I hate that letter-writing is gone now. I don't mind typewritten vs handwritten. I don't care much for grammar, or in which language it's in. I don't care if it's a post it note or a multi-page letter. What I miss is people putting effort into expressing their thoughts or feelings in writing at all. I love the minor erasures and typos, I love "hearing" how they would talk in written form, I love the streams of consciousness, personal anecdotes, etc. Lately had to print letters from family members and family friends (they don't like to write with a pen, they don't know how to create a doc, let alone print it out) and they told me, proudly, that they used AI to write the entirety for them. Maybe it's just my community. Maybe I'm being "too old school" (I'm 32). But I would just feel empty if I received an AI piece as a send-off letter from the people I love and grew up with. I wouldn't have any emotional attachment to keep a letter generated by a machine.