me and my bf celebrated our first year annivasary kinda. i made him a card and he paid for our dinner but when i brought the card out he said "this is cute, but i didnt make you anything... im an asshole" and i know thats a joke and whatever and i laughed along, but idk, it feels like he doesnt even care and im appreciative of him taking us downtown and paying for dinner, all i wanted was even just a little note. after he read my note he said "i ditto everything you said" and idk that just hurt cause like i feel like there was no effort at all even in the moment. I want him to be more vulnerable but i feel like i cant ask him that because of how his childhood was or idk maybe he wouldnt even care. it makes me sad, but im taking it into account for the future of things. :(((
Recent Rants
I remember one day when I went to the bathroom to take off my school jersey because I was feeling too hot. I asked my friend JJ to come with me, and we walked to the bathroom together. When we entered, I stood by the mirror. At that moment, Yame came out of one of the bathroom stalls. I greeted him as he was about to leave. I then started taking off my jersey, and dzuda just stood there looking at me. He seemed completely frozen for about a minute, with his mouth slightly open. As he looked at me, his eyes appeared to be frozen looking at me. I don't remember exactly what happened next, but I think I asked him why he was just standing there. If I remember correctly, he replied, "It's nothing," and then left. It's also possible that he didn't say anything at all and simply walked away on his own, as I can't remember that part with complete certainty. Does he like me? Because my 2 friends have been telling me this
It’s so fucking stupid which is why I’m writing here, I WANT A FUCKING FAIRYTALE ROMANCE. I want my partner to be more loving and more supportive. I want a lot of fucking things but I’m a teenager and I can’t fucking get them. I have ZERO reason to be depressed and unhappy, but for some reason I can’t find it in myself to be happy. I feel so empty but I’m surrounded by a loving family and my friends, I have a good life. I just want to be normal and happy but I can’t control that. It sounds weird but god I want more control in my life. I don’t want to make people do things or whatever but I just want to feel in control of myself for once. To know what I’m doing next. I just want to be okay. I’m only a teenager trying her best w a partner who had a hard time using emotions and I have too many emotions. I’m trying I swear. Just give me my life back. Please.
i fell into the sh rabbit hole, i got rejected by a dude, my dad left my mom and ive been missing him for ages. i havent got a chance to see him, not once. i know this sounds terrible, but i really hate everyone right now. i dont want to vent to any of my friends because they wont understand.
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Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
It is unbelievably stupid how much people joke about serious topics. I can't believe we don't feel a ounce of remorse in our words. I see comments joking about pedophiles, being racist, the Holocaust, being harassed/violated, etc. Even today, I was scrolling down the comment section, and some fucking idiot was joking and downplaying the Nanjing massacre (how's that possible?) Most jokes are like... so downplayed it's STUPID. Like the very words themselves have losted the meaning and hence it's power. When I go back to school, it's almost always the guys randomly spamming n-words despite being white or asian or something. It's almost as if these things are a JOKE...
My father is a bastard cheater who left our family and used half of my school fund for his mistress and her daughter. He ruined my 18th birthday in February and I haven’t spoken to him since, it’s August. My mom says will you ever feel bad and forgive him? No. And anytime I think I might I just view the recordings of what he did that day. I looked at an old message my friend sent me, on my birthday she wishes me the happiest birthday, and the day after since I was in school she texted me later if I was okay because I had seemed off. That’s my why. He’s a lying, abusive, bipolar piece of degenerated shit and he’s not my father. My father left me 12 years ago when he moved to another country. Now im trying my hardest to get into uni for medicine so I can show im not going to lose to his actions. Even during my graduation speech I thanked my mom and brother..Got way too much hate from his side of the family who know what he’s done. Non-respectfully, fuck him. Thank you.
I just feel nothing. For a long time, no sadness or joy just a prolonged indifference to everything. The world is on fire for the sake of greed, my work is a dying career gasping at the noose of AI replacements. I feel as though I have no agency or autonomy in my own life. Just an automated, grey nothingness.
WHOEVER took my moth plush at Ihop SLEEP WITH ONE FUCKING EYE OPEN I WILL FIND YOU. This happened like a month ago but yes, I am still PISSED. FUCKING STOLE MY COMFORT PLUSH FOR NO REASON???? So yeah uhhh person who took that plush i hate you
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Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
Uhhh don't read if ur sensitive to sh and sa/sxual topics ok? take care of urself btw I FUCKING HATE MY LIFEEEEEEE I AM SO MAD AND MISERABLE AAAAAAAAA I WAS SO STUPID WHY DID I WATCH THOSE FUCKING PORN VIDEOS?!?!?@?@?@?@? IM ADDICTED I CANT STOP IM GONNA KMSSSSS I HATE HIW MASTURVATING IS SO NORMALIZED BC LOOK WHAT IT DID TO ME I THOUGHT IF EVERONE ELSE DOES IT WHY CANT I????? I HATE CUTTING BUT ITS THE ONLY THING THAT HELPS I LOVE IT AND HATE IT I DONT EVEN KNOW IF MY "SA" COUNTS MY DAD TOUCHED MY ASS WHEN HE WAS DRUNK BUT IT WAS ONLY ONCE OR TWICE IM PROBABLY JUST A CRYBABY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Sometimes I get this overwhelming sense of peace. Its kinda weird but I like it. Maybe it's because I've finally accepted that im going to kms. Ever since I've accepted it I've felt so tranquil. Freedom is so close I cant wait <3
i really wanna die cause i am a pathetic bish who cant handle it anymore, but i dont want to suicide bcz i dont want my parent to think that they were horrible parents and i dont want anyone to be sad when i die (but if they are happy it would be worse so idk) i wanna have a peaceful death yk like dying alone sounds nice to me, passing away without seeing someone you love cry for you
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Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
Being in a relationship is so difficult. I love my bf, but I have no idea how to show affection or react to it. Whenever he shows me affection I don't know how to react so I just sit there like a BIRDBRAIN (reference). I wish I could show him how much i love him :(((
My bf and I are in the same class, so we have many chances to talk during lunch, breaks, changeovers, substitutions and dispersal. Lately I feel like he barely makes an effort to talk to me while spending a lot of that free time talking "enthusiastically" with other girls especially one particular girl. And its not about him talking to her its about how he is spending his attention and time to someone who isnt me. At first I was fine with it but it became so frequent that even my friends noticed it. Im not saying he likes her or that she likes him. My problem is that I feel neglected (yes ik i am pathetic). He once asked me to talk less to one of his friends because it bothered him and I respected that and also try very hard to not make him feel sad. He has also admitted that he doesnt contribute enough to our relationship and said he would try harder but I havent felt that effort. He doesnt put effort or his efforts are so low that i dont even see the difference between then and now.
Just need to let off some steam I don't know what the fuck is going on with me. One minute im mad, the other minute im happy and then im depressed. I've been feeling like this for such a long time but im scared to reach out. All I want is to feel something real. (dunno how to describe it) whenever I "feel" something it's like more of a hollow feeling than anything. I hate this shit so much.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
I am just feeling lost and without guidance by joining an ongoing project with subject matter outside my wheelhouse. It's overwhelming. There's time pressure and I had trouble paying attention at the onboardi g meeting because it felt like they were speaking another language. I want other projects with this company but not this one ugh
i hate how i look when i take my shirt off. im too skinny and wish i didn’t feel like this or look this way but i cant stop hating myself for how i look. i cant even go swimming without a shirt, not even with just family or friends. i look skinny fat and i hate myself for it.
My family is always telling me to surrender my phone but, in my phone, where i can find the one thing they truly cared about MY FUCKING GRADES!!! Its like they only notice me when i have a bad grade or got the even the lowest score on non recorded quiz. I FUCKING REPEAT NON FUCKING RECORDED QUIZ... I hate them so much... i really hate them i really reallly hate this family i wish i could just take my own life that way they wont have a disappointed excuse of a son like me i hate them so much i reallly fucking hate this family