All Rants

I don’t want to be the smart kid. It is wasted potential. I don’t wanna be a scientist or astronaut or any of that shit. I just want to chase tornadoes for a living. I don’t like being smart, I hate it. I always put too much expectations on myself, if I get anything below an A+ I get destroyed. Almost all my friends ask me for help on assignments. I was moved up in math. I just can’t do this. I don’t want to be smart. I just want to be normal. Everyone wants to be smart until they know the toll it takes on you.

My life has been slowly falling apart for years and I am at my wits end. I am a mother to 4 young children, I was lucky to become a stay at home mom for a majorty of their lives but didn't realize the life I was told we would have would blow up in my face. My husband works out of state, visits maybe once every few months. When he comes home it is "his vacation" and he is not to lift a finger or have any responsibilities. The work I put in to make sure I have a happy, stable home on top of chores, errands, schools, the mental load of 5 extra people has been... draining to put it lightly. I have no village. I've been totally kept in the dark about finances until I started to dig into it all myself- what I found was crushing. All the while I have been in one state trying my hardest to penny pinch and just make ends meet my husband somehow "missed" a 40k discrepancy from his salary for the year. I fear he had been lying to me for years. Thank you for listening, my characters ran out 😭

It is just so stupid that Americans nowadays are dumber than a rock. I’m a middle schooler and I am smarter than a lot of adults I know, and it is extremely sad :/ most adults nowadays dont know anything about geography at all.

Despite my anger, I regret the way it ended. 15 years is a long time to be friends with somebody and despite my anger, I wish it hadn't ended the way it did, let alone ended at all. The truth of the matter, though, is that we were just no longer compatible. It's an indisputable fact of life, people change for both better and worse. Despite my anger and harsh last words, despite what you may think about me "exploiting" your kindness, I wish for and hope that life in the future is not as harsh as it once was for you. I hope you manage to find new friends that are better suited to your needs as I have. For better and for worse, I will treasure and hold onto those early friendship memories with all my heart from when we were young and all that mattered were late night Skype calls and video games. Despite my anger, a part of me will always remember and miss you. You will probably never see this message but I hope my feelings still somehow reach you - not an apology, moreso a final farewell

I thought you were a light in thr dark, something to rise me up and love me after the terrible thing I'd finally braved through. But now you're just a ghost, leaving me to fester in my own silence. A silence that creeps so deep onto my very core I find myself abandoning the things I enjoy, because they remind me of you. Im taking extra shifts, extra hours, doing anything to fill the void. Ensuring exhausting will claim me after every shift so I don't have a moment to think. I fester in the exhaustion and silence at night, the chirping cricket only reminding me of how empty it all is. I miss your voice in my ears, your encouraging words. Why are you doing this to me? You said I saved you? I thought you wanted me? Wanted this? You said meeting you saved you. Now who's going to save me? I know I shouldn't hope to be saved, but god fucking dammit I feel so alone. Like an idiotic fucking fool. I struggle to see a future, to want to live long.

Im loosing faith in life getting better, i keep getting told oh itll get better itll get better but it never has. im so close to just relapsing again. i have no faith in anything anymore, im tired of being alone tired of all of the stress tired of everything.

Feel like taking a bottle of pills and leaving my house for good.

Argued with my parent and honestly I feel like leaving and killing myself. I just I can’t deal with it anymore I feel like stuff will be better without me

im losing it. i wanna just run away and leave no traces in my life. i dont wanna hurt anyone anymore and im so tired of hurting myself and just so tired and exhausted. im heavily debating just cutting everyone off and disappearing for a ferw days. i hope they find my body somewhere staring at the stars. i want my body to rot into the ground

I wish people understood the struggles of BED more and sympathized with me. It's a bit selfish and jealous on my part but I find myself constantly jealous of my friend with Anorexia because I can't starve myself for the life of me, I starve and then end up eating back all the calories. I'm so tired of being overweight. I feel like I'm constantly outshined and less important than people with anorexia. I even used to be Anorexic and it was all worth nothing now because I'm fat and don't think I'll ever lose the weight soon

My mental and physical heath just keep getting worse and worse and I feel so guilty and sad. I wish I could afford a therapist.

Dealing with anything fetish related is at a point where im convinced ill find noone. I wish it wasnt as hard as it was.

I just feel so terrible. There’s nothing wrong, no one’s hurt me recently, and my family is normal as ever. I’m moving out in a few days (I’m very excited) but I just can’t do anything. I feel empty and tired and alone. I can’t get myself to pack my clothes or shower or talk to anyone. I want to throw up because I’ve been eating too much for not doing anything. But I can’t even get myself to do that. The suicidal ideation is a constant hum in the back of my head. I’m seeing some of my favorite people tomorrow and I want to cancel for no reason. I just need to get to saturday. I wish I had the balls to kms first

Why does fam invalidate me? Let somebody jump you out of bed. You'll be complaining then. I just a dismissive I know it. Its not my fault we have the shittiest karen in the area neighbors that are like ghetto breeders. I absolutely cannot stand these people the vibe they give off because they wouldn't care if we were out there lying dead. My one member had to go to the hospital because they were in and out of consciousness. The karen said oh was that for you? No how are you are you ok or anything as far as I know. But they act caring on social media in front of others of course. I can't stand fake people. Especially those that are adults and act like entitled babyfied little kids. These people have been giving me hell noise wise every morning for months seemingly. Everyone who lives here received a noise paper about hours music loudness etc. yet they still stomp the hell out of my ceiling so excuse me if I wanna or feel like throwing a brick through their window immature cows.

I hate that im getting upset about a guy... Why am I getting treated slick this, he liked me first

FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SC IS WHATS BUILDING UP!!!!!

There is, literally, nothing to look forward to in the foreseeable future. No vacations. No big plans. No benchmarks. No goals I had hoped to accomplish. I’ll just go to sleep, wake up, and try to change something again. I feel like that’s what I’ve been doing for the past six years.

If someone told me to cut deeper it listen (tell me I need motivation to cut)

i WILL be the dead friend 🤣 i WILL die looking like a girl 🤣 i WILL be the dead partner 🤣 i WILL be dead before 18 😂

I use this a lot but I cringe at myself every time I see someone left me note and actually saw my rant lmao