All Rants

So I guess everyone’s finally accepted that I am bad with my art and writing. No one shows interest anymore, and that fucker’s words still dig into me when they shouldn’t. It hurts when something you spent years doing, that you thought WAS going to be your career, ends up being a big waste of time. It brought me joy, but in the end all this did was make me depressed. It’s baffling just how pathetic I am.

I brace myself when the morning comes. I pretend and play a character throughout the day, finish tasks and fill it however I can. But every night I feel so lonely, so empty, so tired, so drained. Not because I did a lot during the day but because I felt like nothing mattered. No one cared. And I mean truly cared. I don’t know how to describe how I’m feeling, that’s part of the loneliness I feel. No one would understand or could understand because I can’t describe it. Maybe all it’s screaming is .. I wish someone could help me.

Im just so tired of it all ive been missing my therapy appointments and doing stupid things i dont know how much longer im supposed to endure this i wish i could actually just fucking do it but i cant because of my family god i wish i was never born im so tired of this all ive done is hurt people i wish i could find someone to hurt me again i wish i could find someone to ruin me fully im so tired of being half broken i wish i had someone who would push me over the edge and let me not even think about what im doing and just end it

I miss the friend I once had. The girl who had lifted me out of my shell and made me happy. I wasn’t used to having anyone by my side that I forced my frustration on her, basically saying I wanted to be alone on paper. I still remember her sad expression to this day. I was such an asshole. But even so, she still wanted to be in my life. It felt strange having someone around like that. But I was happy. I felt comfortable enough to share my voice with her in private. (I was a quiet kid) I remember someone walked in between her and I’s relationship. They became good friends and left me out at times. I felt.. sad. Something I didn’t expect to feel. I hated the guy she became friends with. Then one day she just vanished without a word. I looked for her. I thought maybe she was just absent for a few days. But as a month passed, I knew she left. She hadn’t even gave me a last message or anything. I was alone once again. I still remember our ‘secret’ area under the tall sandpit.

Everything is getting too hard for me to handle, I'm in my senior year of highschool, I'm trying to lose weight because supposedly my weight is causing my joint pain, school leaves me exhausted everyday and I keep oversleeping, Im in my 2nd week and there's already so much work to do and the stress of graduating and getting ready for college is too much for me and on top of it all I can't seem to draw anything anymore, my artblock has gotten so bad it feels like I've lost everything, for months now I've contemplated just writing my suicide note and going through with it because everything going on in my life is just becoming too much, I didn't even mention everything in this message there's just too much. I don't know what to do, everything has felt hopeless for so long and I have no outlet to help me cope and I don't want to put myself in bad situations again

I'm js tried of everything. I don't even have the energy to be with people anymore. i just want to be alone. i feel so drained

it's so annoying having a mother that pays such little attention to you that she doesn't even know your favourite colour

I'm so scared to go out. irnfn

Everyday I just zone out, I just can’t do this anymore. I feel so alone must of the times. Sometimes I can’t even know what I’m feeling, is it angry? Sadness? Grief? Who the fuck knows. I want to get help because I just can’t keep doing this by myself but I’m not rich I jst hope ts job interview goes well so I can get health insurance to go see a therapist.

i’m madly in love with someone who admits that they’ll never love me as much as they loved their exes. i want to marry this man but it’ll never happen. he’s broken my heart and he doesn’t even realize. i don’t know how much more of this i can really handle. he puts on such a good act that he loves me with his whole heart but im just nothing to him compared to his exes. this is the worst pain ive ever felt and no matter what i do will never change the fact that im not good enough. i’ve never felt loved in my entire life

I feel like I’m holding myself back from reaching my true potential yknow? I just can’t seem to do anything in my life without being scared of doing it.

I hate when people jst bully others. Like I’ve been bullied by the same gay guy since 8th grade, I’m a 12th grader now. It doesn’t really affect me like how it did back then I just find it so annoying he keeps doing it. Like what do you gain from it. What do you gain from making fun of how my makeup looks, my weight and calling me a “fatass” judging me for doing anything you don’t think that’s the “norm” like bitch please. Make up your mind. I’m so fucking tired please leave me alone for one day. I just feel so angry and upset that I let it go on for so long. Sometimes I jst wish I just have moved schools sooner before it got worse for me. Maybe a fresh start is what I need once I finish highschool no. I only have one friend that I hang out with and no one else. I feel so pathetic that I can’t make more friends. My social aniexty holds me back from doing things I love the most. I can’t even do them anymore. I’m just too unmotivated to do the things I loved doing.

i really miss being an edgelord. by edgelord, i mean someone who enjoys gritty, horror-like art, and liking jokes that may be smwt insensitive. not 1 of those asshats who go out of their way to harass people. I guess i still could be one, but w/ the way sns is going, and due 2 some parasocial people who have been stalking me since i was 13 i doubt it. i miss drawing gore. i miss being able to enjoy whatever i want. i miss saying unhinged things. the actual kicker is the people stalking me. i did some stupid stuff when i was 13 that ended up w/ me getting somewhat 'infamous' within a small community, with many hating me, cus i was a stereotypical reddit edgelord at the time. i refrain from drawing the things i want to because i don't want them to think im regressing and judge me for that. i wish i could be free from them, but somehow they keep finding me. they dont do anything, but its so uncomfortable. im tired of keeping things entirely clean. i hate being polite at all times.

Everyday is such a drag through the mud, it’s hard to even wake up in the morning without feeling so empty. I can be like happy a moment and then it’s jst turns into sadness. I don’t even know if i deserve the good things that are coming into my life. No matter how many friends I make online and try to distract myself from the thoughts and feelings it jst doesn’t last and I end up thinking about those feelings and bad thoughts even more and it’s harder to get out of them. My mental health has dropped so drastically over this past year now. 2026 is not my year vro. I thought 2025 wasn’t my year either, or the other years. I’m just so exhausted. Sometimes I wish I was someone else in life Ykwim? I’m not pretty nor popular nor skinny so what. I’m jst an ugly non popular fatass friendless jobless and license less freak. God I’m almost done with highschool but it feels like 8th grade all over again. I’m slowly loosing myself and I jst. I want to find myself again in all of this mess I have.

yapping like a lapdog omg. how did u even see that? how much did you scroll to find my rant indirectly directed torwards you?? and you're telling ME to touch grass?

whoever fucking replied to my rant needs to stfu. "I dont want to hear it Resi" i'm not FUCKING RESI YOU DUMB FUCKING CHUD.

pregnant and my boyfriend broke up with me and i have so many other issues but this one just puts the cherry on top. I tried to get him to work it out but he says he’s checked out and he wants to co parent but how when i still love him and it’s killing me. I’ve spiraled and now diagnosed with prenatal depression and i want to tell him how i really really feel. I don’t want to force him to do something he doesn’t want to do. I’m stuck.

all I wanted to do is get something to eat man. why do you hate me so damn much? what horrid things inflicted towards you by me made you treat me like this? why is it that every small fucking mistake I make is chopped off, and seen as such a crime worthy for a harsh, cruel punishment? I find myself wishing you physically abused me rather mentally.

The weight of the world is crippling. I'm scared for the future. We aren't meant to do it alone but that is the world we live in and I'm not sure I can tolerate it much longer.

why do I even try stepping out of my room when all you do is yell or punish me. why do I even try at all when all you do is remind me why life isn't worth living? -vb