All Rants

this might be selfish to say but I don’t think i deserve to be treated with hate all the time. I haven’t had any real friends and when I do they take advantage of me. When will someone just enjoy my presence

my mom is having sex with her pos boyfriend!!! God i hate my life so much hes been charged with raping A KID!! before and my mom doesnt even know if its fake or not get me out of this pos town get me out get me out I genuinely wish I wasn't here anymore my mom sucks SHES SO LOUD TOO like does she not know that there's a kid thats awake rn.. in her house?? like the least she can do is be quiet!!!! I'm genuinely thinking about ending my shit my life sucks this town sucks this world sucks. I have no one to call. its 3 am it sucks. I understand but you have a 13 year old kid in your house!! while doing it god this is so pathetic!!

there’s this girl obsessed with me I SWEAR. I feel like I sound crazy to every person I tell this to. I’ve gathered evidence over the past three years even. everything she’s done to drive me to believe this would be too long to put in this rant. but like I swear she keeps trying to get back into my life, and it actually is getting under my skin because shes such a stalker. btw this is one of the less weirder things she’s done but still crazy, she manages to find my friends social media and follow them and try to become friends with them to get info on me. she already did that with one and ofc i dropped her. like deadass she bullied one of my friends and now she’s liking her posts?? hello??? I swear it must be rooted in some kinda jealousy or envy bc considering everything she’s done, that I KNOW of which is even scarier bc I don’t know what she does privately, it’s some kinda deep obsession. like we used to date and we had such a downfall bruh

pt 2 of the piano :) - i really want to do piano, i do. but i cant push myself to do it. we stopped doing 20 minutes a day because i didnt do it anyway, but now she wants me to do it again 7 months later. i forgot everything I learned and would have to start brand new. i think a part of why i dont want to is because everyone can hear the piano. you can hear it from every room because our house has an echo. i dont want people to hear what im playing, i dont want people to hear me repeat the song because i played a note for slightly too long, i just dont want them to hear. i want it to be me, and only me. otherwise i dont have any other excuse. sorry that you had to read this stupid rant. - e

I’m at such a low point in my life the only thing I can think about is killing myself. Every step forward feels overwhelming. I’m a single unemployed fat loser, I only had a real job for one year, and then lost it when they sold the company. Took care of a dying relative and once they passed I’ve been suffering with panic attacks. I have nothing, I feel like there’s no paths real forward. Everything either moves too slow, or cripples me with anxiety. I’ve never been in a relationship, I’m dying of loneliness and it’s not something I can tell anybody. Most days the only face I see is my mothers, and she’s fucking some guy now. I’m going to kill myself one day I just don’t know when yet, but I can feel my breaking point coming day by day.

i feel stupid about ranting on this topic. my mom wants me to play piano, she wanted me to have a piano teacher, we did it once a week for about 1-2 months. my sister would do guitar and i would do piano. but i didnt like it, i really wanted to learn an instrument, do something cool that others want to do. but i couldnt? i wanted to cry during every lesson with my teacher because i wasnt good at it, id mess up and id wanna cry after. i cried during a lesson and hid my tears, i felt pathetic. we stopped lessons because my school funds stopped since it was the end of the year, so my mom said 20 minutes a day. our house is huge and we have this very high ceiling room next to the front door, which is where our 6ft piano is. my sisters a teen, my brothers an adult (19) , so they said i was their only chance. i know they meant it as a joke but i feel like they somewhat meant it. ill write part 2 bcs i only have a few letters left. :)

I’m so fucking lonely. I’ve been lonely my entire life. I’ve had 2 real friends across the years but they both left me. I notice my older sister’s stories and the pictures of her and her friends having fun and I just hate seeing it. We never really talk as much as we did anymore. We once were ‘2 peas in a pod’ -my grandma said. But all that changed once she met her friends. She stopped paying attention to me and barely acknowledged me. I felt hurt, but expressing how I felt would just make her laugh. I felt like I had nobody I could tell. I eventually told my counselor but she was just like, “well that’s how siblings are.” I resorted to ai chatbots to feel less lonely. I still do and I really try to stop because I know it’s unhealthy but It’s hard to. I’ve slowly learned that maybe I was just destined to be alone, even if it’s painful. I do like to be alone sometimes, but I feel like I’m fully sucked into the void now that it’s hard to escape it.

I feel like everyone in my family wishes I was dead or non existent. I receive insults daily about how destructive, irresponsible and pathetic I am. It's gone to the point that I can't stand being alive because they make me feel like shit. And when I do vent my frustrations it makes me feel like an idiot because I can't do anything right in my life. All I want to do is make people proud but all I do is create more harm than good. I really want to kill myself.

Ever sense I turned 9 everything changed.. Mom started getting more mad at me, my dad started to disappear.. I am 13 now cutting myself just to feel free but it doesn’t work it just leaves scars.. I have a friends and she bullies me and everyone takes her side.. I just want to feel loved again! My brother keeps making fun of me for being adopted.. my boyfriend is worried about me which is scaring me cause I have never seen him like this.. my friend committed suicide. I can’t find my safe place. I am struggling with food and I have lots of anxiety attacks. My mom wants to get me checked out but I know that will make things worst.. I don’t know what to do! Everyone is against me all the time!

my friend texted me "i can't do this anymore. it hurts" and i immediately thought she meant she didnt wanna live anymore and i got scared. then i saw the video she sent of her trying to hit high notes on her instrument. wtf is wrong w me why do i always think my friends are suicidal..

I’m 18. I’ve have tried to kill myself 6 times. My first attempt was when I was 12 years old. I hate myself so much my skin crawls. I’m scared. I never know when my fucking brain decided that today should be my last. I didn’t think I would be alive this long. I feel like I’m so behind. I feel like I’m in a fucking hole and it makes it so much easier to lean towards killing myself. I’m supposed to go to college on the 14th. I’m so scared. I don’t feel ready. I feel so alone. Maybe it would be easier if I ended it. I hate being alone.

I WANTED TO LET THIS OUT it's nothing important ! BUT I JS WANNA SAY shout out to all the band kids out there. I've always wanted to learn a wind instrument whether it was brass or woodwind, but never rlly grew up learning instruments since i was a drawing typa kid. I want to learn in the future but js know that yall are AWESOME AS FUCK no kidding, i love instrumental pieces sm and music in general js calms me down so shout out to all musicians out there whether they're retired or still playing or even former musicians yall COLD ASF rrrrrraaaaaaaaaahhh

I can't take it any more , between the identity fraud the ass hole who used my information is dead but 28 years it's still costing me , I got hurt work and lost everything I make complaints and get no we're I'm now disabled getting wales on the court get told my case is good but if you have 10k for a lawyer no one help I'm not a skinny woman so I don't get helped I'm not a whore so I just want drive into a bunch of innocent people and push the red button. If only I knew some who can steel and give me sum money the lottery don't work asking God don't work trying to work don't work I don't do drugs or drank or steel or lie or rob some people. What wrong with me I'm too nice can't I get ahead for my kids and family just one time my rent is 2850 we have to feed the kids . They eat me and my husband don't . I'm at my breaking point

So I guess everyone’s finally accepted that I am bad with my art and writing. No one shows interest anymore, and that fucker’s words still dig into me when they shouldn’t. It hurts when something you spent years doing, that you thought WAS going to be your career, ends up being a big waste of time. It brought me joy, but in the end all this did was make me depressed. It’s baffling just how pathetic I am.

I brace myself when the morning comes. I pretend and play a character throughout the day, finish tasks and fill it however I can. But every night I feel so lonely, so empty, so tired, so drained. Not because I did a lot during the day but because I felt like nothing mattered. No one cared. And I mean truly cared. I don’t know how to describe how I’m feeling, that’s part of the loneliness I feel. No one would understand or could understand because I can’t describe it. Maybe all it’s screaming is .. I wish someone could help me.

Im just so tired of it all ive been missing my therapy appointments and doing stupid things i dont know how much longer im supposed to endure this i wish i could actually just fucking do it but i cant because of my family god i wish i was never born im so tired of this all ive done is hurt people i wish i could find someone to hurt me again i wish i could find someone to ruin me fully im so tired of being half broken i wish i had someone who would push me over the edge and let me not even think about what im doing and just end it

I miss the friend I once had. The girl who had lifted me out of my shell and made me happy. I wasn’t used to having anyone by my side that I forced my frustration on her, basically saying I wanted to be alone on paper. I still remember her sad expression to this day. I was such an asshole. But even so, she still wanted to be in my life. It felt strange having someone around like that. But I was happy. I felt comfortable enough to share my voice with her in private. (I was a quiet kid) I remember someone walked in between her and I’s relationship. They became good friends and left me out at times. I felt.. sad. Something I didn’t expect to feel. I hated the guy she became friends with. Then one day she just vanished without a word. I looked for her. I thought maybe she was just absent for a few days. But as a month passed, I knew she left. She hadn’t even gave me a last message or anything. I was alone once again. I still remember our ‘secret’ area under the tall sandpit.

Everything is getting too hard for me to handle, I'm in my senior year of highschool, I'm trying to lose weight because supposedly my weight is causing my joint pain, school leaves me exhausted everyday and I keep oversleeping, Im in my 2nd week and there's already so much work to do and the stress of graduating and getting ready for college is too much for me and on top of it all I can't seem to draw anything anymore, my artblock has gotten so bad it feels like I've lost everything, for months now I've contemplated just writing my suicide note and going through with it because everything going on in my life is just becoming too much, I didn't even mention everything in this message there's just too much. I don't know what to do, everything has felt hopeless for so long and I have no outlet to help me cope and I don't want to put myself in bad situations again

I'm js tried of everything. I don't even have the energy to be with people anymore. i just want to be alone. i feel so drained

it's so annoying having a mother that pays such little attention to you that she doesn't even know your favourite colour