I'm so tired of going through life, being dragged around and basically slammed into things, I'm sick of my parents who are just... My dad is okay with people being deported, and is just generally kind of unpleasant to be around sometimes, my mother has gotten angrier over the years, and all I've done is watch them be these ways, unable to really talk back, In fact I've been such a *good*, *quiet*, son to them that I can't FUCKING SCREAM OR YELL ANYMORE. I hate being their "perfect" child. While I haven't set any track records or own my own business, I'm "normal" to them. They treat my differently because I didn't just come from my mother, that I haven't really shown signs of "pretending to be a girl" or whatever the fuck they're on about these days. I hate myself for sometimes using Ai chatbots it's just... It's one of the few things that shuts off my brain, lets me stare and write and read absolute slop for a couple hours. I know how bad it is and I want to stop, what would help?
Recent Rants
i got some of my papers back. so far most of the stuff was decent i got 39/40 for moral, 35/40 for sst, 71/96 for eng lang paper 2 and 46/64 for paper 1, lit i got 33/40 for paper 1 and 61/80 for paper 2, biology i got 51/60 and arabic 59.5 out of 70 but bro i got 48.5/60 for physcis which like ugh. i was expecting more bro my friends got 50 to 55 like that range so i was so disappointed in myself i wouldve been happy sith a 50 i just needed 1.5 marks more so im really sad. in terms of percent its 81% which isnt bad but bro i feel like a failure my friends were trying to convince me its good which yea but then they got 56 and stuff so like its not that good. to be fair i did better in bio and im so scared for chem now i thought physics went well and then i got my marsk and oh my god psychology i dont want that paper back ik damn well im getting bad gosh. i cried a lot in skl today i mean it helped but like i cant get that number out of my head gosh
One class in vet school is the one I have the lowest one. And the thing is that it's very stupid. I have an 89 and thats my "lowest" class. I know grades aren't everything. One of my personal goals was to have all As in one semester. Just one of the semesters in this 4 year program. But this class frustrates me because I'm always borderline to that A. So i thought to meet with the professor just to see what I missed but he doesn't respond and if he does, he never sends a link (bc he does Zoom lectures) to meet up with him.
(Rant about an ex friend) : I miss you so fucking much it's not even funny anymore. You made me feel good about myself, and you were once the brightest light in my life. I don't know if I can continue much longer without anyone else knowing how much I need someone like you. I thought I could trust you. Poured my life and soul into our interactions and made sure you were ok and perfectly happy. When you were angry, I kept my cool or didn't lash out. I only did that once or twice... I think? I trusted you. With everything. But you threw it all away, so I had to do something. I regret it so much I just wanna put myself back into that hurtful situation I absolutely fucking deserve to be hurt and put down. I wish I could run back so you could look down on me again and use my secrets against me. I know it's gonna hurt me even more but I need something to fill your void I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know what to do anymore what am I supposed to do.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
Every time I speak up or share something, the conversation stops. There is no value in what I think or how I feel or who I am. It’s proven time and time again. I never learn though. I think that maybe this time it’ll be different. It never is. Literally never. I could be chatting with loved ones, friends, family, strangers. I always halt the conversation. No one cares. I’m not trying to be emo or whatever, but it’s exhausting noticing this and still trying again and again. My value has always been compared to others too. First when I was a kid and my parents would outright compare my intelligence, beauty, athleticism, and character to that of my best friends’. Or when my sister who always referred to me as her best friend, and when I finally thought “hey maybe she means it”… she then ostracizes me when we are thousands of miles away on vacation surrounded by people only she knows. On a trip SHE invited me on. I spoke and not once was I heard. For a whole month. Two memorable examples.
I have a crush on a guy in my science class, I got his number last week when we were in lab together, the problem is that he just dropped the class and I'm so sad that I won't see him again what do I do
I feel sick with myself. I joke around and in the moment it seems both me and the person I'm joking with think its funny but then after I can't help but overthink it. What if they were just pretending? Did I cross a line? Its bad enough that all year I've already been dealing with my best friend of 6 years wanting to die and fatshaming himself. i made a joke, and he said one of these shaming things again, and i begged him not to talk about himself like that. He just deflected and He won't answer my texts now. I've apologized for the jokes thinking its my fault. I don't wanna lose him.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
Even if there's a lot of people in my life, I feel like I can't rely on anyone, I can't count with anyone. The only person that I had confidenced with, the one I loved the most, I trusted the most and knew everything because I always talked EVERYTHING with that person, ghosted me out of nowhere. My family is constantly harming me mentally in a lot of different ways, I don't have any deep friend who I could vent to, and I end up venting with AIs and asking opinions to AIs as well because I don't have any other one I can rely on. It's a very sad point in my life honestly
why is my friend if i can even call them that sooooooooooo annoying. tell me why theyre always ridiculing me????? come on now youre not superior honey if youre jealous just say. its honestly so stupid why am i putting up with this stressing me out too much than i need right now
My manager called me with a list of supposed complaints saying I was a bad team member. 1. Claiming I was telling people I was bored when I was not. 2. Claiming a user says I wasn’t going to save money shipping when I assumed they were joking and going along with it 3. Ridiculed me for taking a mental health day 4. Saying I need to act like other team members instead of myself (me being the only woman on the team) I have never been more insulted or embarrassed.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
Is it just me or do things just stop making sense like I used to be great at math and I would excel in most subjects but now everything feels overwhelming and jumbled even though I try to get help but it doesn't solve anything so now at 1:09 AM I am trying to decide if I should kill myself or suck it up and try to get through another day of school even though I am falling behind not moving just stuck like I accidently stepped in quick drying cement, or is this normal? the stress the pain or simply the free of being humiliated because I am struggling when everyone is doing fine or should I just wait keep counting reasons to stay or ignore them all and end it?
I don't even know where to start, everything just sucks, always has. I can't even express that how bad life has been. From the moment I could even keep a conscious thought it was horrible. I've tried to talk to family, but it's hard to when they are the exact people that are hurting you. I've been through hell and back, from verbal and emotional abuse to the physical and sexually abused. From the age of 7. But I hate that I can't get away from them. This horrid family. I'm stuck, I can't move out yet because of my last year in high school, my friends all moved away, and yes, I have my boyfriend and he listens to me, but I don't want to dump all of this stuff onto him. He's got his own stuff he's dealing with right now, and I know he always asks and tells me I can talk to him but I just can't get around to it without feeling like I'm annoying. I can't even handle him being too close cause of trauma. I feel horrible cause he's a physical and verbally attached person and... I'm not.
I have lived my entire life being rejected and ignored, being verbally abused and completely disregarded. No matter what relationship it was: family, friends, s/o. I'm in a relationship now where in the beginning even before it was official my now boyfriend made me feel not only seen but heard. When we started dating it was nice but now that we are going on 3 years it seems like everything has disappeared. I can't bring up that bothering me without it turning into an argument and he then belittles me like everyone else. He always wants to say that he always want me to feel heard but his actions say otherwise. I don't want to walk away yet but I've grown attach to his son and our kids love each other but I'm tired of being called out of my name because he did something to upset me and instead of being a child or passive about I try to talk about it. Does anyone have any advice for me?
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
A rant? More of a documentary. Ever since i was out of that thing you barely call womb, i knew things were more than obviously wrong. Freedom is punished there; self-sac compliance is minimal survival. no killings, violence with no blood allouwwd. It’s so wrong. Till i got to see what i sort of always knew, what they desperately tries keeping me from. Primal killings, blood, love, sex, shame. Uncoded. What they fear, and i know as if i lived there forvever. A normal blummin life. All i asked for All they try to NOT give me.
my Mum died a while ago; I miss my mum’s side of the family. It’s been 16 years, and I still have five uncles, but they’re all pushing 60–70 years old, and I feel like time is running out. My dad and auntie (I have a double cousin) hate my mum’s side with a burning passion, so I have a lot of fear and anxiety about contacting them. I do understand my sister’s point about our family abandoning us (I respect her boundaries if she doesn't want to see them). Then again, my dad and auntie had something to do with it too, because they’re toxic. I want to confront my uncles. I want to hug them and ask them to tell me all the stories about the 41 years they had with my mother. My other sister told me that an auntie-in-law reached out and said she wanted to surprise our uncle with us because he misses us. My heart has been shattered, and I’ve been having really bad heartaches for the past couple of weeks. the pain has been sharp I want my family back
Technically came from something that happened at work, but it led into a spiral that led to me missing everyone I grew up with and feeling disconnected from everyone in my life