All Rants

I’m so sick of my friend ignoring me. She’s the only person I have to talk to and she just ignores me when she wants. Today she said we could do something I’ve wanted to do all week and the second we started she said she would rather be doomscrolling and just left me. I was texting her and said o was worried ma sage just ignored me. I called her and she said she can’t call bc she’s watching mean girls even though she’s been saying all day we could call. I know she does, but I feel like she doesn’t care about me. I know she’s likely upset or something but she’s just cutting me off and I’m so sick of it. She’s the only person I have to talk to. She keeps giving me false hope that we can have fun and then ripping it away. My day has been shit and all I wanted was to have fun and laugh w her and we called for a few mins before she just said she wanted to doomscroll. My life is so plain right now. Everything is boring. I have no energy.

I just wish that you get as excited as I do for our mini-dates. Really hoped that you did something for valentines.

Hello stranger, I'm so tired of acads, I know my grades doesn't define who I am, but I want to make my parents proud.

When I read rants here I think about when I was younger and how depressed I was. I thought about how hopeless I was and that I didnt think anything would get better. Idk what it is but kids sound more hopeless?? Idk if that makes sense. It almost sounds like a desperate depression. Take this as words of advice but, dont stay online too much. Usually when I read ppls rants they are on their computer the majority of their waking life, dont do that. Yea its an outlet you feel that is helping you but I really dont think it is. Most things that actually benefit you are things that you dread doing until you do it for so long you want to do it. Yea sounds stupid but you get it if you get it...

Look up Henry David Thoreau I think everyone could learn something from this person. In a world that even then was overcontrolled by corporations and the government it has and hasent changed in so many ways. I think this is a good reminder for everyone to go outside and touch some grass or take a breath of fresh air, before you have to pay for it. Ppl need to realise how connected we are as ppl to each other and nature. This guys words of wisdom are so humbling. Even then in 1845 the government was getting its grubby fingers onto ppls plates, crazy, look him up!

please explain why i feel this way: like i feel like i just have no place on this earth bc ppl wanna fuck it up like why is it when ppl see you minding your own GODDAMN BUSINESS their tiny ass brains goes “oh look who think she is better than everyone” or “oh i wonder what is wrong with her she is too quiet” ORRRR “Hey what is your deal your being to quiet you look like someone told you off” and in my brain I'm like DID YOU EVER CONSIDER I WANNA BE LEFT THE FUCK ALONE FOR ONCE OR I JUST DON'T WANNA BE BOTHERED WITH YOU!! LIKE DAMN LEET ME FUCKINGGGG BE JUST BECAUSE I'M QUIET DOESN'T MEAN I'M PLOTTING THE DAY YOU DIE OR SUM I AM PROBABLY THINKING ABOUT KILLING MYSELF BUT NO ONE CARES RIGHT???BC I AM JUST A DUMB LOSER WHO CAN'T BE ALONE OR BOTHERED FOR NOTHING IT IS LIKE EVERYTHING I DO IS A FUCKING PROBLEM... i just wish people understood what life is like for me everyday and i just wish i could've stopped my parents that night when they went out bc i could have prevented them get killd

I've been staying inside ever since I was 13, and now I'm 19. I lost so much time. I lost so many opportunities and experiences. I gained so much social anxiety. i didn't go to school, I lost all my friends too. All I did was use a computer for 6 years. No school, no real life experiences, nothing. I am so incredibly depressed and hurt. I'd give anything to turn back time and fix my mistake. I want to go back to when I was 13, and live normally. I want to not decline my friends when they asked to go out. I want to pressure my mom to let me go to school (it was covid at the time, my mom didn't allow me to go to school). I'd give anything. If it means letting myself be tortured for a whole year, but at the end, my time would be reversed to when I was 13 and allowed to fix stuff, I would let myself be tortured. If it means losing all my new experience in the unity game engine that I've gained in those 6 years, I'd let go of unity and not become a game developer. I'd give anything I own.

It hurts. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. School is slipping from my fingers, and all that's keeping me alive is band, yet my parents are trying to take it away from me. They don't know that it's my lifeline, my reason to live, the only place I feel like I belong. There's so much being built inside of me, but when I get asked what's going on with me, all I can say is "I don't know." I don't know why school is draining; I don't know why I can't be smart like you. I'm sorry I'm not doing better. I'm sorry I'm not smart enough. I just can't be like them. I'm

It was damn French yet again

I can't wait till my sibling's japanese phase is over with. It's so cringe and weird.

I wish to be held. Times I debate with myself, if I want to be loved, or if my will to love back is stronger than the former. Often, I believe myself to yearn for the freedom to express romantic love rather than yearning to receive it. Its comparable to introversion or 'anti-social'-ness. Often, you're content, sometimes happy all alone in your own space. However, loneliness always hits the hardest once your mind breaks that mental shield. I never have imagined the reality of someone complimenting me romantically, flirting or of similar gestures. I will never find myself to fit that image I do believe in a more fantastical concept of love, something many consider unrealistic now. 'Pure' love doesn't exist. Or so they say. I believe otherwise. I think 'true' love can exist, and no longer a norm because no one practices it anymore. Everyone seeks to gain from a relationship, particularly materialistic worth even if they don't think so I simply want someone I'm willing to fight Hell for

we bid our goodbyes. before i left, we hugged and slow danced (his request). then when i got home, i took my clothes off to change and i smelled him faintly. i legit felt weak i laid on my bedroom floor until the sun has set and i knew i had no choice but to move.

I have a friend group of four and one of them, L, had actually been leading on my mother friend, B, for MONTHS. I told her off and she relapsed. Now she's in the hospital and B and my girlfriend M (who is also L's best friend) are freaking out but the worst part is.. I do not give a shit

I'm so tired of going through life, being dragged around and basically slammed into things, I'm sick of my parents who are just... My dad is okay with people being deported, and is just generally kind of unpleasant to be around sometimes, my mother has gotten angrier over the years, and all I've done is watch them be these ways, unable to really talk back, In fact I've been such a *good*, *quiet*, son to them that I can't FUCKING SCREAM OR YELL ANYMORE. I hate being their "perfect" child. While I haven't set any track records or own my own business, I'm "normal" to them. They treat my differently because I didn't just come from my mother, that I haven't really shown signs of "pretending to be a girl" or whatever the fuck they're on about these days. I hate myself for sometimes using Ai chatbots it's just... It's one of the few things that shuts off my brain, lets me stare and write and read absolute slop for a couple hours. I know how bad it is and I want to stop, what would help?

i got some of my papers back. so far most of the stuff was decent i got 39/40 for moral, 35/40 for sst, 71/96 for eng lang paper 2 and 46/64 for paper 1, lit i got 33/40 for paper 1 and 61/80 for paper 2, biology i got 51/60 and arabic 59.5 out of 70 but bro i got 48.5/60 for physcis which like ugh. i was expecting more bro my friends got 50 to 55 like that range so i was so disappointed in myself i wouldve been happy sith a 50 i just needed 1.5 marks more so im really sad. in terms of percent its 81% which isnt bad but bro i feel like a failure my friends were trying to convince me its good which yea but then they got 56 and stuff so like its not that good. to be fair i did better in bio and im so scared for chem now i thought physics went well and then i got my marsk and oh my god psychology i dont want that paper back ik damn well im getting bad gosh. i cried a lot in skl today i mean it helped but like i cant get that number out of my head gosh

One class in vet school is the one I have the lowest one. And the thing is that it's very stupid. I have an 89 and thats my "lowest" class. I know grades aren't everything. One of my personal goals was to have all As in one semester. Just one of the semesters in this 4 year program. But this class frustrates me because I'm always borderline to that A. So i thought to meet with the professor just to see what I missed but he doesn't respond and if he does, he never sends a link (bc he does Zoom lectures) to meet up with him.

(Rant about an ex friend) : I miss you so fucking much it's not even funny anymore. You made me feel good about myself, and you were once the brightest light in my life. I don't know if I can continue much longer without anyone else knowing how much I need someone like you. I thought I could trust you. Poured my life and soul into our interactions and made sure you were ok and perfectly happy. When you were angry, I kept my cool or didn't lash out. I only did that once or twice... I think? I trusted you. With everything. But you threw it all away, so I had to do something. I regret it so much I just wanna put myself back into that hurtful situation I absolutely fucking deserve to be hurt and put down. I wish I could run back so you could look down on me again and use my secrets against me. I know it's gonna hurt me even more but I need something to fill your void I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know what to do anymore what am I supposed to do.

Every time I speak up or share something, the conversation stops. There is no value in what I think or how I feel or who I am. It’s proven time and time again. I never learn though. I think that maybe this time it’ll be different. It never is. Literally never. I could be chatting with loved ones, friends, family, strangers. I always halt the conversation. No one cares. I’m not trying to be emo or whatever, but it’s exhausting noticing this and still trying again and again. My value has always been compared to others too. First when I was a kid and my parents would outright compare my intelligence, beauty, athleticism, and character to that of my best friends’. Or when my sister who always referred to me as her best friend, and when I finally thought “hey maybe she means it”… she then ostracizes me when we are thousands of miles away on vacation surrounded by people only she knows. On a trip SHE invited me on. I spoke and not once was I heard. For a whole month. Two memorable examples.

So tired, and why cant i get some rest just one day

I have a crush on a guy in my science class, I got his number last week when we were in lab together, the problem is that he just dropped the class and I'm so sad that I won't see him again what do I do