All Rants

I'm autistic and I have a big relationship problem with my mom I love her but she doesn't I'm under 18 and i can't do much but she blames me everytime I do something it's never enough all I am to her is something to flex "my son is a good artist" and all I am to her in my opinion is not a human but a something to flex and when I have meltdowns and such It always fully my fault and i don't know what to do

I have a really big crush on this boy in my school but I’m a boy. I don’t really know what to do about it because I don’t know if he’s in a relationship or if I want a relationship but I feel like I have to do something to get it off my chest, so I am venting. I’m probably gay or something along those lines but I don't really know if it’s a real crush since I don’t know if I seek a relationship.

im really anxious and feeling crazy want to freak out

I'm talking to this guy (that I do know irl, I got to school w/him), and i have horrrrible communication and social skills, i was never taught and never really learned. i have been previously like socially isolated and homebound for two months (i was in IOP, having some mental issues and having been groomed online) so that definitely doesn't help. i really like him, but i dont talk much, yk? he told me he hasnt been in a relationship for just abt 2 years, just some causal things. we've been having some problems, bc of me (comm. & social skllz). i told him i was done, cus he's clearly done(never said it tho, js that he'd stop trying and that its up to me now), and he got pissed abt it cus he didnt mean to make it seem that way, and i asked him if he was done, he said he was but he didnt want to be. im clearly an issue, he's trying so hard and im js..not, cus i rlly do like him, but idk what to do, what to say. im stuck and itsd fkcn me over, no US (me n him)

I am in a slump. I can't make myself be disciplined. I can't even imagine myself being disciplined. I have been struggling with loss of memory, attention deficiency and low self-esteem. I have been trying understand and get past it by trying to write about it, watch videos, articles, read books but end up not solving it and getting stuck and frustrated. So, I end up playing games or doomscrolling social media.

i feel so shit lately and its all because of this one enby. okay so basically i used to date the, realised they didnt respect boundaries and ended it. now they start talking shit about me??? like HELLO?!

i attempted by my pets sciccsors i have adhd and im going to give hkdse in 7 dys i have no complete prep no will no expectation. and i just got told of my mom that my dad destroyed our life now left me with his brain so i can ruin it more. she said im turning wirthless cuz i dont study i know that i am stressing her out burdening her. she git to this point after i annoyed her too much but i forgot person has limits she dossent understand adhd depresssion or anxiety i think its better to overdose on my meds and eliminate her stress i just hope no one remembers me but before i pass away my cat knows im dead

The hunger crisis is alrdy bad as it is and it became more visible since oil prices started to go up. I hope people in position will finally have the compassion and empathy to wear the shoes of those people who walks without, barely scraping each day to make ends meet. I refuse to believe there is no more humanity left in them. Please. God help us all.

I honestly don't know where to begin. Maybe where my dad has to be assigned somewhere far again inducing additional costs in the household expenses and having no one to take me to school. In theory I am okay with taking the public transport to go and leave school but unfortunately I don't have the best experiences, I can recount about a number of memories being harassed by creeps n it's giving me such a fear. My dad is worried my mom is trying to calm him down and I'm trying to offer them both peace. I read Deuteronomy saying God has alrdy arrived in the tomorrow we si worry about hence we need to put more faith in him knowing he'll never let us go thru anything on our own. I know God will always be by my side. And me ranting don't mean I don't rust his plans it's just that I don't rlly know where I shld pour these feelings without burdening those I love n the worries of being misunderstood and labelled thinking too much. Things happening altogether, I hope God sustains us all the way.

So yeah she went on a rampage about how fucked up I am, how my true colours are bleeding out, how I lie to others so sweetly. When I yelled at her to get out of my room, she asked me to hit her. Left my room and went to the other one, it doesn't do shit. I'll not lie sometimes I really feel as if to break their mouths. But more than that, I want to gouge my eyes out, hit my head with a hammer or just run away. Can't do either of those. I fucking hate them. I don't even know if I can ever get out. They never shut up. There's no quiet. I don't even know. :D

1. I hate my parents. It's always the same thing over and over again, there's not a day without arguments. They always keep on telling how much money they spend on whatever shit they do. She fucking says she is teaching me to save by not spending anything, the 20k I had saved up over years were taken by her. She never fucking returned those. Kept saying I spent it on food, even though I clearly remember spending 2k over months. This is just one shit I think. Well, just one more incident today? I was in my room going through my school group when an unknown no. called me. I asked her if she knew someone by the name mentioned on the phone app. She didn't reply. I went on doing my stuff. She fucking barged in through the door and demanded to see the no. I let her see the no. but she wanted the phone in her hands. I didn't give it to her, and checked another message that popped up. Idk what tf is wrong with her she fucking clenched her jaw, I told her no need to see after that. :D

The only way for America illegal attack against Iran to stop, is for Trump to resign, get arrested, charged and put in jail especially for crimes against humanity and going against the Constitution and Congress.

Ever since I started to enter the young adult age, I've come to realize that I don't really like my parents. They aren't bad people. They're not physically abusive in the slightest bit, but I don't think they're quite fit to be parents. I don't have kids of my own, so who am I to say? And I know I should give them grace because it's their first time being parents. But sometimes they make me feel like I'm dealing with children I didn't ask for. Today they frustrated me again, and it made me realize that I don't know how to handle my anger because they didn't know how to either. It was either quietly there simmering in the background or some sudden burst that would shock all of us. Now, I feel like that's all I ever learned from them when it comes to being mad. I don't want to be mad. I hate feeling mad, but when I am, it's like I have no idea what to do with it and end up lashing out on other people or bawling my eyes out over a small inconvenience. I don't know.

Looking back from a year I feel as if I have conquered a lot of hurdles that were once in front of me. I feel as if time dragged so much within that year. So much that was not in my control such a bitter, hateful time (more so 7 years, but the last year seems as if wrapping up a chapter). Seems like I have accomplished a lot that I thought would be in my way. I feel in control in so many ways now that I feel this fire, this tense, growing passion in my soul. Its volatile, jaded, but resourceful. A year from yesterday was the last time I contacted you, no response back. I dont know if thats b/c your on ur merry way or if it was through silent contempt. I purposely made it seem I had a wonderful life.. it wont be the last, I'll make sure you know.

It hurts you're not mine anymore. You look so pretty, feminine than before. You look happy. Is it another man dating you? You had him planned after me didn't you. I mean you're happy that's what matters, but the way you played with my feelings bro, you treated me like a toy when I genuinely loved you.. You just used me to feel loved. Maybe you are wealthier and socially above in class than me, but what you did will come back to you I promise. I won't seek revenge, I won't do anything, just reminding you life will not be kind to you. I still don't wish bad upon you, but I wish you rejected me that day

Sometimes I feel god Sometimes i feel homeless

I thought I healed. I spiralled again after seeing her. I hate this happening to me. My luck is so bad. She has become prettier and is happy. I don't want her back. I made her important and special, i revoked the access, but the past is haunting me Months of healing, spiral, again months of healing, again spiral This loop is killing me inside I have excellent rebound capability but universe randomly beats the living shit out of me Not her, my whole past years have been bad. I loved my childhood. The present and future is utterly bad. I just want to live life bro. Others' lives are happening and I'm here sucking dick in a loop, it's wonderful. I want to quit bro. It's getting unbearable. I'm losing hair, my looks are ageing -unnessarily- i know age and life is inevitable, but current circumstances are accelerating my biological ageing. I have gray hair, I have no income, live off my parents, will hit 30s soon. I just want god to lift me up but he's playin with me.

I know it says no personal information required but I need to mention that I identify as aroace (aromantic and asexual). This means i don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction, I don’t look to pursue romantic relationships or sexual ones with my friends or people I know. I’ve been this way for a long time. But, I masturbate. Now I stopped two weeks ago, for many reasons including that I think it’s pretty messy and I hate mess. But since then I’ve been missing the nice (albeit short) feeling you get when you do it. It’s just really difficult and I can’t vent to my friends because none of them are asexual and they wouldn’t understand.

I like the casually rich people Totally savouring life's fine details No envy, I just feel bad of my luck

You know what. I don't want to matter to anyone anymore. Because then I can finally stop and rest and find peace. Mattering just means I am not done fighting and doing my duties, that there is still more the world wants from me even though I have nothing left to give. I am done. I am so completely, utterly done.