All Rants

I fucking hate her so much , I want to get out of this house so badly but I'm so depressed I can't get a job. I swear I can live on just a few coins just give me a job and I'll fucking leave her . Why does she think she needs to be the judge of everything and she wants everyone to be wrong so she can feel superior . And that Bitch takes everything personally instead of responding like a fucking adult like how are we supposed to solve problems or fucking even be heard if you can't use your brain fucking whore . How tf did she became a mother ? I bed she forced herself on my father there is no other explaination for a psycho like her . Man I hate her and her son so much , why am I her daughter? I would have lived an amazing life if I was born to a beggar . What kind of curse is this ? Fuckk

I went to visit mom mom for the first time in a year and I went for Christmas I’m 14 and the oldest of 8 all boys (non of them live with me) and iv been having bad mental health problems and i wanted to talk to my mom about it but when i brought it up she made fun of me for it saying “what problems dose a 14 year old have” as i was telling her i cut myself and tried to kill myself my strangling myself she laughed and said thats stupid the next day Christmas she announced she’s having another kid a girl and iv already talk too her out how I wish I was in my siblings life’s but now a girl and she’s giving in my only baby clothes I had that I value and my nick name iv had for years and she’s going too forget me like she always dose as I tell her how I feel she just says “get over it” my mental health has only gotten worse thanks mom.

I'm this prolly sounds dumb but I live a privileged life but I still never feel happy anymore. I'm constantly exhausted in school and I feel like I have no moti nation to try anymore let alone continue to live but it always feels l like I'm never allowed to say anything abt it because I know I should feel happy. I'm also just feeling extremely lonely cuz I almost never see or talk to my friends anymore atp I've lost all contact with some of my best friends because they moved away and even though they moved like a ye a r ago I still blame myself for not keeping in touch with them even though there was basically nothing I could have done.

I wish i wasnt as angry or mean sounding, i wish i wasnt greasy or disgusting, i wishi told people my issues normally, i wish i wasnt greasy born right, i wish i was pretty, i wish i had a life, a job, studied hard. I should be working now. Yet i am not, i wish i brushed my teeth, i wish i was normal.

I feel like I have this strange obsession with wanting to be everyone’s favorite person and to be chosen, it just sucks when I’ve gone through my whole life knowing that I’m no one’s first thought, so I over compensate to try to be. It seems to come so naturally to others, where people just prefer them but I just feel as if I’m never good enough. I get weird and jealous I don’t show it but it’s a thought in my mind when I see somebody I want to be closer with be closer to somebody else. And I hate that about myself, I hate that I feel this way and I hate how I create my whole cause of hurt and pain because of this. I just want to be noticed for once, and not have to notice others first

I just don’t know what to do. My man hasn’t wanted to touch me or talk to me In weeks since he’s friend came into town. We live together and he used to be all over me. He couldn’t go an hr without texting me or calling me. Now I won’t hear from him all day and when he comes home from work he ignores me. Am I not enough?

I’m not really sure how to go about this. This guy and I were talking and flirting back and forth. We met on a dating app. He told me he adores me and really likes the potential we carry for a relationship. Today he tells me he’s not sure if he’s ready for a relationship and he didn’t want it to seem like he dragged me on, he asked me to come over last night I couldn’t and today he told me he wants to talk as friends and he just needs time to see if he’s ready for a relationship. Like kt makes me feel like why was he flirting and why did we go on a first date if he wasn’t sure if he was ready for a relationship.

J is really irritating and such a hypocrite i feel … distancing myself from her

I've been so stressed out lately, I feel like crying and no one cares about me...

The more I think about it, the more upset I am. I don’t understand why she cannot see that A is contributing more than J. Instead of placating and thanking A, she says A is doing too much. Like what? And then saying we should understand J. This is so warped. I really wanted to tell A that she should not overdo already and she actually has the mistaken idea that she’s being appreciated. She is not. And in fact she finds A being too extra with making changes. I’m sure she will complain to Person. I just hope Person has the right brain to explain to her why she would think this way.

I used to be really good at talking to people in like elementary school but for a really long time now I feel stuck anytime I am having a conversation with someone that isn't direct family. I don't have any friends irl or online and I've been starting to go onto stuff like discord and talking with people on there bc I thought maybe it would help me get better at talking to people and maybe I could make some friends but I think I just can't do it. I never know what to say and when I do think of something I end up deleting it because I think that the other person will think I'm weird or trying to hard or something idk I hate being alone all the time. I just wish I had more people my age to talk to but every time I try it like someone is covering my mouth and I just can't say what I want to. I wish I was like I was in elementary school when I wasn't as anxious all the time and could just make friends like it was nothing. I just don't want people to hate me or think I'm weird.

I’m now the only virgin in my friend group. We’ve all graduated and are either 18 or 19, and all of them have done sex stuff (two have PiV’d and one has done everything but— and that counts too). I have done nothing at all. My last virgin friend in our 4 person friendgroup had sex yesterday. And the thing is, I’m Demisexual, so it’s going to be a while before I (if ever) have sex and I know that. I’ve never even been in a relationship before (been asked out, but am picky yknow). It just feels really weird. Idk how to describe the feeling. Off, I guess? It almost makes me feel sad. A year ago we were all innocent and now we’re not. And that sounds strange when I type that out but. It just makes me want to go back before 3/4 of us took this huge step. I love my friends, but now I feel like I’m the out of balanced one. I’m supportive of them of course but. Everything is just different now

I'm so fricking done with my parents! Mostly my dad, my mom frustrates me somes but she tries her hardest and still loves me even when I'm a bit of a jerk to her cuz I'm like angry or smt. But oh gosh do I really dislike my dad rn, sure he's nice to me and gives me a great life and everything but he keeps judging me amount of food I eat like you have no room to talk and also there has been no change in the proportions of my food! And now I feel bad for eating to much food so I keep eating smaller amounts even though I am still hungry after I eat but I feel guilty any time i eat a normal amount now! And he keeps calling me lazy like I'm not lazy and sorry I feel like I cantvdo anything like if I'm just laying there my brain will be screaming at me to do something but my body just will not respond, bit can I tell him that? heck no! He will call me attention seeking and sa thatvim faking it and "oh your generation-" and it turns into a lecture. I could go on but I'm out of space so byee3

And so emo for what. 小心眼. For real, best to avoid you.

She so petty. Pp cannot even voice out their opinions. Super Bay tahan. Why does she feel like we all need to to be grateful to her? She’s the one who wanted to start the WC rite? Why does she feel like it’s an obligation for A to work there? The feelings is validated. Why can’t she just acknowledge it? And honestly J should just sit herself out. If already not contributing, why still so thick skin want to take part. And make pp feel this way and put it in such a way like you are taking the leftovers. Pls la ah. And it is true you are quite a rider. U want to reap the benefits but not helping. For real.

Been dating almost 5 months… I’m done being treated like shit .. but it still hurts.. she treats me like I’m one of her ex’s who didn’t have shit going for them and just used her- yet she always tells me how different I am… and don’t deserve that…? It hurts a ton… I love her but I love myself enough to leave when something’s not healthy for me …

I don't know what I want anymore!

I'm so tired of always feeling like a failure and feeling like I have to fake it to everyone I know. Everyone around me thinks I graduated from college while ive been failing to finish the few classes needed to graduate. Every year ive taken classes that make me feel like a failure and a fake while everyone else I know is being successful and moving on in their life. And because I havent gotten work yet, every conversation with my parents is about work and I just want to never hear about a job ever again. I need to figure out how to get out of this house and making money. I feel like every decision ive made to finish something myself has snowballed to the point that I cant do anything in my life anymore. Nothing brings me joy other than doing things with my friends, and its been this way for years.

I am so goddamn jealous of those without the weight of mental illness. Those who see the world through a lens of clean glasses, those with the capacity to believe that one day after the other will bring them some sort of happiness. I look around at my relationships with Hazel and Harper, and I am so goddamn jealous of it. Why is it so natural for them to just talk to one another? Why can it not be with me? I need to feel validated. She is not picking up my texts, how rude. What a fucking bitch. She will pick up for anyone in an instant, but nooo, not me. Prickly bitch. I hate her, stupid cunt. I wish she would die. I need that innocence, that connection. I am so tired of the desperation. I need to be kind to myself, and realize that maybe she just doesn't want to be my friend like that. That hurts like shit, just please tell me so I can bear it a little better. Its not my fault that she treats me like this. I guess I will be just fine. I need to focus on myself. Only myself. Love me.

What's something you wish you could say to someone but the relationship is too fragile? "I wish we could both be heard. not just me hearing you, not just you hearing me. we can both hear. so why is always only one of us saying what's wrong? Only one person being honest. Tell me what to do better. tell me what I did wrong. I'm desperate. I can't lose you."