God, I’m scared to face the world. I’m graduating this year. I honestly hated most of my class, but they’ve been there longer than I can remember and I don’t want it to end because though they may not all be good memories, they’re still memories. It’s gonna be hard not having to get up every single morning for school. I don’t know what I’m gonna do after school. I told my dad and pretty much everyone I wanted to join the navy but now I’m not sure. But now I feel like I’m in too deep.
Im so scared of my town getting blown up. The others around me have, and I believe ours is next. I try tell my family to evacuate but they dont believe me since they dont watch news. If it does get blown up, I just wanna say that if I dont make it out alive then I loved my family so much. I can hear the echoes and the winds of the bombs. They think its the military testing out bombs. Im scared. Im only 17, I wont even make it to 21. The chances are very high, like super high.
I feel so stupid!! I get scared of Elite or Pros in my sports team. I don't want to train with them because their training processes are always hard for me. But I'm so scared that my Coach will make me train with them. I'm so scared to the point that I skip training because I can't face this fear!! This is why I don't improve quickly. I'm not consistent in training because I'm insecure and immature and I'm being childish about them elites/pros when I'm sure they don't even care about me. I hate it. But I can't erase it. I don't want to mess up in front of anybody. ARGHHHH
I really with I had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I want someone to love and cherish completely. Someone to spoil yet have no money to spoil them with. Anyone I like sees me as just a friend, and thats okay. I just wish one would like me back.
What do you do when you feel like you have no friends. Just feels like i have people that are acquaintances. Nobody ever asks to hang out. Call to talk. Nobody ever picks me first. They all have people/someone that theyd rather be with. I want to try make friends, Reach out but when i did. I got ignored or maybe they were put off by me randomly reaching out. Im tired of being alone. Im tired of being anxious and socially isolated. I just want someone to understand me. My anxiety is eating me up. And i dont know how much longer i can keep doing this. I just want to disappear completely. Seems like everyones better off.
I think i love her. I dont know what to do about this except ignore it it for as long as I can. Idk if this will go away or if it will stay but I hope it goes away. I dont want to love someone like this, i dont want to- its to much to handle and to much to think about after everything thats happend. We've known eachother for a little bit over a year now and I feel like thats to soon for me to be feeling this way. I hate that I love her and I want this feeling to stop.. but at the same time I want her to love me too
I want to leave my partner. We've been "dating" since we were 12. But while I've grown and realized I'm not in love with him, he's grown incredibly attached to me and would literally kill himself if I decided to break up with him. I told him a bit about how I feel, and he said he doesnt want to keep me captive like this, but he alos cant see a future for himself without me in it. But I don't like him. I would not be his friend even if we were to meet today without any history, much less his partner.
I'm sad and confused and I want to break up but I care too much and don't want to lose a literal third person I love to suicide because god knows it was hard enough the first two times.
the guy i like is almost two decades older than me and ik my parents won’t approve of him when the time comes because of how old he is.
he is all i ever think about and he is so patient with me and i love him sm😓💗
i want this to work out but i already know how this is going to look and sound to my parents
we have already had this conversation a little and he said i should do what im comfortable with and he said he will stick with me and it doesn’t matter my decision.
i think ik what i want to do but its such a big change and idk if i will regret it in the future but im alsi kind of scared because this is something i haven’t thought about doing. im just somewhat nervous about our future together.
I just want a boyfriend. Someone I genuinely like being around and someone who likes the same things as me. I want someone that can make me smile when I’m sad. But that’s too bad I nerfed myself so I’m fat and ugly now ig #fairs
help. my brother and my mother saw the cuts o my legs... luckily not my arms yet tho cus my arms... on my left, a row on the inside and shit ton on the outside and then i ran out of space so i moved to my right... s'ok cus im goin on camp tmrw so we coolin for 1 wk at least but im scared that someone there will see
My rant is not as bad as as any of yours was, but I just feel like I have to get something out there to someone else cause I just can’t tell my dog anymore. He don’t listen, bro. I really really really hope you listen like my life is just missing something important and every day when I think I might just feel like empty like not like I’m not happy but very happy person but I feel I just can’t like press myself and I feel like with my mom like you’re so close completely we like to get apart I don’t know why but like I still love her so much and I just don’t know what to do and for some reason I feel like I can’t tell her stuff even though she’s giving me no reason ever to believe that I can’t I’m sorry I didn’t seem so random but I just need to talk about this and also school is about to start for me and I’m just I’m so scared it’s about to come and also I feel like I am never the best at anything I do or atleast remotely better than anyone and it just makes me feel so behind on life
Looking back at all my memories.. My mother was always high or drunk. Same with my dad. My grandparents and aunties hadnto take care of us, but they barely did, so we learnt ourselves how to do stuff.
A lot of my family suffer from addiction, even I am right now. So when I look back to see the full house high, drunk, or smoking, I sigh and get disappointed with myself.
Out of everyone,
My grandma, grandpa, auntie 1 2 and 3, uncle 1 and 2, my 3 other sisters, and then my cousins,
I still fell for the trap
And everyone else either quitting / rehabilitating or is sober for 10+ years. Out of a whole family, I just have to be the only one still addicted and hoping for an overdose death.
I cant quit though. Gotta forget all the beatings anyway. Gotta forget everything. The family is getting smaller, and the tribe's language is fading since my grandmother refuses to tell me. I can get why.
On this rant, I've vented about everything I've wanted to get rid of. Yes, my family is this big.
I feel so behind. Idk how to throw a football, idk how to push past a defender in basketball. I just wanna be able to play sports with my cousins and not feel like a burden, I wanna feel like I'm capable like any other boy. I know I'm athletic, I can do it, just never was taught because I was socialized as female. Now I just sit out cuz it feels like I'll never catch up and I just get nervous about proving myself anyway.
i actually wanna kms so bad everything hurts and i cut myself to fucking much like im not exageratting i do gymnastics and then i had my jumper on the whole time, only one person there knows and it was cold ish so it wasnt abnormal but then on bars my coach was like dont u wanna take it off and i was js like no... im kinda cold... and she was like ok... u should get a long sleeve. it was in the fuckig wash. anyway yea. idk. it hurts so bad. all of it. i sure am friends with a lot of people for someone who feels lonely and like they dont have friends all the time tho. fuck my life. im only 14 tho. like.. and im a girl. so aint no way anyone gonna care cus it js hormones innit?
For once, I man up and kiss her first. No waiting around, show her I want her back. I asked first, ofc, more than she ever did. I just had the guts cuz I was high. Now I feel guilty. Why? Did I put her in some awkward position? Did she feel pressured or something? the vibe was just off. I know when she kisses me that she wants it. When I kiss her I don't have that clarity that she's enthusiastic, even though I asked first and she said yes. This girl took my virginity years ago and I'm freaking out bc we kissed.
I can’t die yet. I can’t do this. I’ve been dealing with self harm and i can’t stop. I wanna disappear. But i still want someone to notice. Just someone. I can’t even get out of bed let alone have teachers screaming at me. Please. I need help.
feeling every post on this website so that people feel valued and important and heard is a level of empathy that not everyone will understand. probably about some people do but are too drained and thats okay. because ik. ik that y'all are trying so hard js to make it to tomorrow. ik that sometimes, or more than sometimes, y'all js wanna quit. maybe because it got too hard. maybe because you js wanna see if someone will care. and i care. i care too much even. love you all
I don't understand why I can't do anything. I can but I don't.i just have to move but I don't. What's wrong with me
I just need to eat, I just need to write, I just need to type, press buttons submit the emails the paperwork the applications but all I do is fall asleep all I can do is listen to videos while I spend the whole day trying to finish my meals,. I wake up and I'm already sleepy. This doesn't make any sense. I just need to move but I cant do anything. Am I stopping myself? What is even stopping me. I have the food there I have the books and notebooks there. I have hands I have legs. Why am I always stuck