All Rants

I hate my fucking life in everything I see I see so much pain and negativity I hate people I wish I can kill all evil people and people who act like a bitch I wish I can bleed a lot and I wish I can die bc u keep hurting everyone and I wish I could was someone favourite I don’t get why I’m so friendly and kind and act like a child and I’m 15 and I cry like a bitch and I wish I can shoot myself I wish I can have a mental disease and I hate this fucking planet I hate when people say positive stuff to me like “it’ll get better” “focus on the good side” and stuff like that when it’s almost impossible for me to and I feel a hopeless and I’m too self aware that I overthink everything a woman was kinda mean to me I wish I can kill and torture that bitch and and fucking drop kick her but obviously I’m a softie so I wouldn’t hurt anyone and I’m not aggressive towards people when they r aggressive towards me

MY TITS ARE WAY BETTER I WILL BASH YOUR BRAINS IF YOU TALK ABOUT POPS AND BALLOONS MANWHORE SHAMELESS ASSS BLOODY FUCKER KY$

im panicking over things that shouldnt cause me to react so strongly my chest feels tight but im trying tp do the box breathing counts i cant finish my food its midnight and my lunch and dinner are still in front o me even mentions of rea-lated topics make it hard i need ti eat can t afford t get sick but i dont feel hungry how to do solve this i really need this to stop but we dont have money fpr doctors i jus need to build a mental resistance but even if i know logically my own body reacts no matter the arguments i give it please please pleas ei just wnat to be able to live normallt and not waste and not cause problems why am i stuck like this

just wanted to spread a little care around here. anyone drank water today? maybe they haven't eaten anything? or if they dont wanna eat or drink, maybe get sleep? or even better, take a long nice shower. if they find themselves unable to do anything, maybe scrolling here is a good thing to. know that you're not alone, that everyone is stressing about one thing or another. we're all human, we have wants, needs, we cope using things that may harm ourselves or other even people. help is always there, even if you refuse or can't see it. no one is perfect, whether it be body, mind, relationships, etc. you're never alone. but admittedly, i'm just typing down what i, myself, would want to hear, so please go ahead and scroll if i said the wrong thing or you don't want to read. you're never alone. never have been and never will be. never forget that, stranger.

I will CURSE all your privs if you sext her I WILL FUCKINH CURSE UOU GUYS WILL DIE BEFORE I WILL RUIN EVERYTHING BETWEEN YOU TWO I WILL HAUNT YOU IF U FLIRT WITH THAT BITCH

HAVE SOME SHAME HAVE SOME SHAME HAVE SOME SHAME FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME HAVE SOME SHAME

HAVE SOME FUCKING SHAME FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST YEAR YOU MF I WILL NOT LET U WHORE AROUND WITH THAT BITCH TODAY

I'm trying to find beauty in lambs bending their heads and broken jugs, in impermanence that someone else understood and can act upon. In innocence the moment before the wolves tear it away, and to love that moment and the blood that it produces without looking to god or a higher man, as dumb as I am.

I will bash your head if you flirt with her

Bitch, why the fuck are you pitying that whore? DONT YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID TO ME DONT YOU??? HOW DARE YOU CARBS HOW DARE YOU

I will not let your FUCKIN HORNY ASSS FLIRT WITH HER. Get it? I will haunt the fuck out of you I will k!LL you

I WILL ASSERT MY DOMINANCE IN EVERY ROMANTIC SHIT YOU SHARE ABOUT HER I AM THE FAIRY I AM EARTH I AM EVERYTHING I WILL CURSE YHE FUCK OUTTA YOU

I'd rather die than be a Buddhist.

I wish bash your head to the wall till your brains splutter out if you talk about her boobs MANWHORE I HAVE BETTER LOOKING ONES YOU PIECE OF SHIT HER UGLY RACKS ARE NOTHINH NOTHINGGGG

In a world without technology, I'd be a happy cotton picker. I feel that I don't deserve anything.

I can't see higher and lower things, I only delude myself in rhythms.

I'm so bad at cutting people off

Today, I feel numb. I just wanna lay down my bed. I don't even know what I want to watch or listen as I rot on my bed.

I’m like really insecure of my face to the point I can’t go out without makeup, that's bad for me bc my mum works hard to make ends meet and makeup is expensive. and she went to another country so she had to spend money on flights and me and my sis were home alone and she has given us money. my sis spent money on hanging out with friends and I didn’t go out with her so she spent it herself. I didn’t have any makeup so I couldn’t go out and I wanted to buy makeup when my mum came back, but bc she spent so much money she had to save up for rent, now I can’t even spend £10 while my sis still has that much money with her but won’t give it bc she thinks I don’t need it. and I have school soon, it’s not like I love being this insecure but they don’t get it and say what’s the big deal, I’ll just get even more bullied. my sis thinks I’m being one of those girls who always just care abt their makeup, but I don’t have a choice, and my family always complaining abt this. I try kms if I look bad

Romance is overdone and so stupid, I hate it so much Yet I find myself longing for it I don't know why. There needs to be some context - There's this person that has done pretty bad stuff to me and my friends in the past, who I started speaking to again recently out of fun to mock them behind their back with the previously involved friends. I'll call them Edgelord. Edgelord has had a crush on one of those friends, I'll call her Chan, who is currently in a relationship with another friend of ours. Edgelord has recently began to speak to me in a way that feels like they're becoming more interested in me, such as asking dumb questions and feeling like they have to explain why? Often saying because I like learning about you. Tell me they're so glad we're friends again and that I forgave them Reacting with heart emojis to my text I've showed my other friends and they all agree. Now, I should not play into this obv. But I'm kinda glad someone may find me attractive. That's so annoying.