All Rants

I don't wanna do it anymore, not alone, I keep trying to reach out but it feels like a weights on my arm and when i reach out i have to hold it there until you hold it to take the pressure off. But you haven't, you've let go and let go and now I'm begging you. Please take it. These days have been so stressful, Ive felt alone the entire time. I've shown you the pain internal and external, I've expected help, comfort, anything. But still I feel alone. I can't do it by myself. I'm not strong enough, I'm telling you. Last night I broke over and over and over again, and I was scared, the day before that I waited on you. And today I finished it myself and it drained me, now I've got more to do and I don't have anything left.

I think I’m a bad person. A selfish one. I’m a bad daughter, a bad friend, a bad lover.

Make America Great Again, sack, arrest, charge and put in jail Trump, Republicans and those from The Electoral College who voted for Trump.

Over the past few years of my life i have been debating on cutting all connections with my family and leave town and never EVER speak to them again. over the past few weeks have proven to me why i want to run away and take my two kids with me. All i ever do is show love and support but i don’t get that in return. what bothers me the most is how are you all going to be return/future missionary’s but so rude to people weren’t yall taught to express the words of god and to love one another. i gladly left that religion after high school because people don’t practice what they teach and it pushed me away. I guess you can say im still recovering from trauma everyone has swept under the rug. growing up i have never felt included in fact one of my cousins threw a birthday party and invited all the other cousins besides me, i was only fucking 9. nobody stood up for me because they all thought that it was just normal. i can’t believe i still talk to them til this day. it actually hurts a lot

sometimes i remember generative ai exists while im doing smth and i get so frustrated n caught up in it for half an hour about how huge it is despite how little it contributes n how redundant it is, like we were just fine 5 years ago but nooo big corpo need more money!1 so they rapidly develop and invest in artificial “intelligence” that generates images and code etc(not even tryna disguise how you wanna replace artists and coders?!) so that no one - or no employer - has to pay for.. like. anythting? generative ai is hyped up as being super duper smart specifically to attract people n make em go “hmmm maybe super duper machine is better than academic resources because it’s ai so it’s gotta be smart” and so these people engage in it and make these bullshit ai companies money and rn i’m so frustrated n i’m like “we should assassinate sam altman luigi mangione style” because lets be honest CEOS HAVE NO SOULS or EMPATHY they only have empathy for their MONEY which they prob have SEX with

So it is true, the same troll gets paid by The Republican party and then they pay those behind Quick Rant keeping some 💰 for themselves to put up the same annoying and unwanted rants for over a year now with abusive and racism rants, names, countries and flags only, two girls in a parking lot etc etc etc

im currently so sick of my parents. Sometimes they act very loving and supporting, but when they are sad themselves they say things that are the complete opposite.

I don’t have friends I really wish one day I will look at the world and have friends

In a room filled with dumb people I am the smart one but in a room filled with smart people I’m the dumb one

I got scammed today… I saw a MacBook Air m2 for 450 euros I decided to meet with the person and get it from him. When I got home with the laptop I realised he scammed me…. Instead of the MacBook Air 2022 he gave me MacBook Pro 2015. I spent all of my savings and I needed it for school. It’s not bad but if the price was lower I would’ve actually been kinda satisfied. I feel like life is always unfair to me

so for a while now iv'e been building this up inside of me, and i need to get this out. Back in october, i met this guy (let's call him panda) and i fell in love with him. He never knew that of course, but i fell in love with the way he would talk, and his eyes were so beatful, and he was so kind and caring and compassionate. Now panda and me would talk every single day, as really good friends do. we would talk all over winter break and i learned so much about him, how he has 8 bunnies and one of them died due to kidney disease. rip. i was always talking to him, and even tho i don't even like video games (he's obsessed with them) i would listen and care. everythignwas going good until he asked me to prom. the things is, he ddint even ask me like romantically he was all "hey __ wanna go to prom with me" like as a friend. i said no, cuz my paretns wont let me go, and he was okay with it, he said "no bid deal". now its spring break and he ghosted me. he wont respond anymore im heartbroken

i dont feel depressive because of this but i have a heavy feeling in my chest i cant pinpoint because i feel as tough im above everyone and lowk hate all of my friends, each and everyone of them, theyre all so so selfish, and my mother is literally just judgemental thats all she is, my dad would just tell my mum, i couldnt even tell you my councillors favourite colour im deadass just lying to her lately, so i have no one but myself to talk to, which should be fine im literally the best person, but ya know, kinda doesnt work like that, maybe i feel a tad lonely, no, nah nope , i know this goes back to realationship issues but whatevs, cant be assed going that deep

my ex logged into my social media for a 3rd time, and its been a year since the breakup. as much as i love and miss him i ended our relationship for several valid reasons. the first time he logged into my main account, i was already so stressed with the rest of my life, for the first time in my whole life i missed an entire period, which lead to more stress wondering why my body wasnt doing what it was supposed to, worrying if id randomly get it one day. i just wish he'd move on, for his sake and mine. my life is already a mess and now he just had to make it messier again. why is he doing this? what is he even gaining from this? i thought i knew him but after all this i feel like maybe i never even really knew him. i just wish he would move on.

My parents are so incompetent. We got evicted from our house last year in January and the only time they ever went searching for a house was mid to late summer last year. All they do is spend money on themselves whether it’s alcohol, cigarettes, weed or takeout. I have to sleep on my grandma’s couch with absolutely no space for myself and get waken up everyday because kids are either being loud or the bright ass sun beaming down my face. My dad also quit his well paying job at a company that gave him so many benefits, bought a BMW that you had to manually fix, and a another car that had issues before spending hundreds of dollars on useless repairs before ultimately scrapping the car. There’s barely anything to eat because I’m sharing a space with my 2 younger cousins, my aunts, my grandma, and my 2 younger siblings and my parents are more focused on themselves and their own lives.

It's Easter day. I really thought I'd have a good day after busting my ass at work for more than 7 days straight. I was really looking forward to this day. Planned alot but couldnt get anything done. A completely disappointing day. My life is truly full of bad luck. I've never had good luck anyways.

im scared of men i hate them, not all, some are just disgusting today i was playing a multiplayer game then i meet an indian boy he was nice at first we talked and all then he said to let him see my face as he sent his pic i did too i trusted him as how nice he was we talked some minutes then he asked me to be in a relationship with him i kindly refused then he started talking about the topic of the the brown or asian girls inappropriate pics made with ai getting sent on social media then he told me that he is one of them and he will make pic of like this and post on media and i was scared i told him to not. he threatened me with that to sent him "those" pictures of mine i was scared i was lying to him for that but that didn't worked he told me he would make those i got so scared that i was having a panic attack i could not even tell my mother she was in other city for her work for a day i deleted the app and even deleted my pinterest with trembling hand i don't know what to do now

I'm distracting myself in class. Not really a problem because i'm doing quite good in school and getting good/high grades, but i'm not perfect anymore like i was. i was the girl who knew how to do everything. I was the girl who only was innocent and had good grades and never ever forgot homework. but it's tiring. My friends vent to me. About how nobody likes them, about how everybody likes me...i feel bad. not only because they don't like themselves, but because i'm thinking of just uhmmm vanishing into thin air yk and I feel like a terrible person because i should be grateful that everyone in class "likes" me, even the ones who i don't like. i want to prove i'm not perfect, prove them that not everybody likes me. but I am kind of. except perfect. I hate myself because i wanna die. Wanting to die, having these thoughts, is the reason why i hate myself. I'm trying to cope by acting as this silly girl online. to hide im young. To hide the fact i relate to Sayori in every sense now.

Part 3 anyways, one of the 2 people who didn’t have anything to do with the situation happened to be the grown ass man who I had an obsession with. It was not a crush, it was not a small fling—I would genuinely sit and look at the chat thingamajig for hours, watching for that man to randomly pop up and check on everyone. I am a creep, I’m aware, but I wasn’t aware then. I denied every chance I got that I wanted anything to do with the man. But anyways, the man; we’ll call him green. 25 and 18 have been on that anon site for years longer than me, so of course, everyone believed them, even without proof. Or maybe they had false proof—I’m not sure, as I was blocked. Anyway, I was really upset that 25 and 18 had told Green about that half-false accusation, and I’m still very upset he believed this accusation. And I’m even more upset about that fact that I cannot defend myself at all.

Part 2 That DM somehow got out. I think it was that friend. I really liked that friend, too. He wasn’t the nicest, but he was very understanding. The next day I came back to the website I found myself blocked by 25. I asked around, and it turns out that friend told 25’s boyfriend (18) that I said 25 was grooming him. I never said that—what I said was a bit worse, actually, but yknow, I was 13 (and still am, but I’m turning 14 soon) and didn’t know much about grooming and/or what grooming was. Then this whole argument started between me, 25, and 18. Like 2 people who weren’t even involved joined in too. But now here’s the thing, I do not think before I send things online, I kind of just type whatever’s on my mind and put it out for the world to see, as dangerous as that is, so I didn’t even know I said 25 and 18’s relationship was predatory. This is not an excuse for my actions; it’s an explanation.

Another thing that happened on that other anonymous vent website a few months ago was so stupid you’ll laugh when you read this. Again, I’m not diagnosed with any sort of mental disorder besides severe social anxiety, but I believe I experience BPD symptoms. But anyways, it all started with an immature DM to a friend. We were talking about this 25 year old who said he was killing himself or something like that. This friend said he didn’t like the 25 year old, and that he was a bitch. I wanted to agree in some way, but I didn’t really know 25 that well, I only knew his boyfriend who was 18. I soon found out 25 was lying about being 22, but I didn’t comment on it in fear of starting drama. But anyways, out of impulse, I told that friend that 25 was probably a predator of sorts. Horrible of me—but then again, lying about being 22 while actually being 22 and openly dating an 17-18 year old isn’t really something that screams “safe”. Part 1