All Rants

i absolutely cannot take it anymore. it genuinely makes me so miserable. i have so many thoughts about what would be the easier way out. It seems like no one cares. Even in the other room. EVen next door. Its crazy how i could just disappear and they wouldnt notice for a while. no one. not one of them fucking cares. they are supposed to be family. I genuienly can't it doesnt matter anymore. you can do what ever you want. i don;t want to be here an ymore and i dont want to be alive.

I (15m) snuck in my moms room while she was out of town and used her dildos, I cleaned them before and after, one of them was the ones with the finger sized slaper in the middle, I tried them, got a little shit on them, cleaned them and returned them, she didn't notice

ive only had my cat for 2 weeks. hes been my everything. i havent told anyone but that is the happiest ive ever been, and they just gave him away. ive never really showed how I felt or cried in public, so venting is completely new to me. idk. i havent been able to think about anything else. i have like 2 quizzes tomorrow and my cat is all I can think about. My dad took him out today to someone else, i didnt want to say bye becasue it would hurt so much more. im starting to regret that. i miss him already and i miss his prescence. they took him away because he was too much to handle, but he was just a kitty:(. i guess it was for the better. 3/4 members of our house would go to work/school, so he got bored quick. it still hurts. ive been trying to study the night away so i won't think about him. i can't believe he's gone. i can't even resent my parents. they've done so much for me .i feel ungrateful. im in a good family, but ive never felt good. my cat made me complete after a long time.

I really hateee when my parents visit. They never used to visit this much. In all my adult years they never ever visited this much this often it drives me crazy. I'm still quite upset with them for the last 2 years and I have absolutely 0 ounce of forgiveness or love for them in my soul. We got along so much better over the years when they stayed their in their home and didn't try to visit me. I can't stand their visits

it was a mistake thinking i could make amends with my parents, live with them, and get to see my brother grow up. i have to get out of here or else i'll go crazy with people who always fight with each other and only ever unite to put me down. but i'm so sad that one day i won't get to see my brother anymore. i love him so much. i'll miss our minecraft world together. i have to get out of here but i love him.

Whenever parents say its their fault for not raising their child right, I feel as though, like alot of people (maybe), that this is very true. But sometimes, in rare cases, it's not. I am that case. I'm not dumb. I'm not slow. I'm more than competent and capable to do things and yet I do nothing. I consistently fail and fall behind, even though I am in perfect condition not to be. I know I am. And yet I do nothing. This self destruction is passive, silent, subtle. I watch myself fail in third person. I watch as people around me glow while i decay. People I know, physically or online seem to be, at the least, doing better than I am. I know you'll never know truly what's going on in another person's life, but it feels so convincing. I am at fault for my own failures. Sometimes I tell myself that just because I fail, does not mean I'm a failure. But maybe I am a failure.

everything I just want help on how to deal with life and live

Hello! I’m me, somebody you’ll never meet or remember since I hate the thought of interactions and impressions. Growing up I’ve always been the promised child, the smart one, the one who’s gonna make it, the one who’s the best! Parents say it, teachers who knew my siblings say it, outside family say it, my scores never prove it, my mind never proves it, and everything damn thing I do never proves it but for some really screwed up reason it’s like everyone is convinced I’ll make it. I don’t believe i will, and I know so. It’s gotten to the point I get mental breakdowns hourly and simply hide it really well. I have the mental stability of an iron wall but the mental exhaustion of a man who wants to die. Which I’ve tried, secretly. The isolation I get knowing my ideals and thoughts and way of processing life are far ahead the rest. Mental exhaustion is worse than holding a knife to your throat. If you see this, don’t give up. Life is painful but try to avoid being like me, Loneliness.

Not close with my family, only one friend. To summarise im an isolated fuck. Thats why when i did my exams recently i thought maybe just maybe if i did well that would prove i have something talent maybe or even just a reason to continue. A passion. One subject i even liked. My grades ended up awful. So im taking a gap year. My friends leaving for uni. My only friend. Ill be here alone. Possibly having to retake an exam, seeing teachers who thought id do well. Reapplying for college. Pretending i can bare more time alone. In my house again. Not close with my family i wish i was i think everyone believes im weird, im quieter i suppose but i try to be nice. I just wish i had someone i cant always rely on my one friend. She needs me strong. Its a shame ive just realised how little i am insignificant i mean. If im not good socially nor physically nor academically what am i and why do i bother.

The urge to cut myself in winter while it’s softly snowing and watch the blood sink into and change the pure white snow while wearing a hoodie and some jeans>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I have severe anxiety, like with almost anything and it’s consuming me. I wanna go to therapy aswell but I’m too scared, the whole point of therapy is to let it out and have exposure to ur trauma but I hate people seeing me cry or be vulnerable. Anyway I found out a way to help me calm down/fidget in order to focus would be chewing. I need to stop chewing my nails and even bits of my skin off when I bit all my nails off already. I usually use gum to help me stop that unhealthy habit and so I can focus but it’s there any kind of fidget or relief that helps with someone else’s anxiety?? I want some recs because I’m not always gonna be able to chew.

I want Frank more than I want my own husband! I think I just seen his car, and I wish my husband would just let me try him for a night.

So lowkey I need advice more than anything. For context, I’m a lesbian freshman. There’s a girl I have two classes with, and she’s really friendly with me. I met her at summer camp about a month ago. She recognized me and remembered my name on the first day of school, a week ago. For some context, I think she’s probably queer but I don’t know for sure (gaydar lol). On Tuesday, she joked in a bit of a self deprecating fashion, which I haven’t seen her do with anyone else. On Friday, she complemented my clear phone case that has a few sticklers that aren’t her style at all. I talked about it with my dad, and he said she’s probably trying to flirt with me. I texted my friends about it, and they said to wait and see how it goes, and if she continues to make comments like that. Idk what to do. I think she’s cute, but I don’t even know if she likes girls. I’m so bad at flirting, let alone picking up on it. Please give me help and advice!!!

My girlfriend, she had thoughts for months When we got together, I learnt about it. I helped her through, I cared for, loved her. Then her mom found out, she made her block me. I was her only source of happiness, and she had said before if she lost me, she would lose her heartbeat. She finally let go today. Said see you in heaven. Im broken again

I have no friends. No lover nothing. My family hate me. I hate them too but I cant help but everytime loneliness hits me, I wish my parents could hug me and reassure me. I just tired of feeling lonely. Im hitting rock bottom, I barely sleep, I cant eat without throwing up, Im here like a loser rotting in my bed like a corpse and waiting for classes to come again. I feel like im dying

I feel like I have no one. I moved to a state 10 hours away from anyone ik, both of my sisters stayed behind. I thought my friends would still contact me or call me and be there for me but I feel like they’ve forgotten me already. My sisters don’t answer me either. At my new school I don’t have fun things to look forward too, I’m constantly worrying abt making ppl like me and keeping ppl next to me as long as possible. I’m really quiet so I struggle to find people to talk to. My brothers are always on technology so I can’t hang out with them at home and my parents are always working. At this point I’m js wishing for anyone to lean on.

my life is a living hell. my best friend dropped me SOLEY because i was giving opinions she doesnt like, my girlfriend just tried to kill herself, i cant get out of my self harm and weed addictions, i only have two real friends left, im about to be frcefully enlisted into the navy, and i dont know what to do.

To the person who replied to my last one about my body, thank you so much.

NEED TO FIX THE "NEXT" BUTTON. It doesnt go to older posts, just takes you to the top recent ones..

my friend leah basically saved my life last year when school and life and my parents was super shit but now shes going to college 8 hours away and i miss her already and she’s barely left. and i am so so scared that i cant do it without her. what if she leaves and i cant do it on my own. what if she leaves and goes and lives her life and forgets about me. what if i cant make it without her and im not enough. what if im not enough.