All Rants

Is it necessary to thump/stomp a good third of the time you people (my neighbors) are up there? Did nobody teach you people underneath you hear most of your noise? Maybe one day you'll live underneath someone and experience the crap you've put us through.

inaction has been eating me up from the inside. it's a slow death. you know EXACTLY what to do, when to do it, how to do it. but it's like my mind is in chains. it's a NIGHTMARE where my mind refuses to listen. my thoughts are turning into mush. I'm wasting all the potential i have, the opportunities i have. I'm wasting my days as I've wasted my nights and soon I'd have wasted my youth. I'm waiting for something but there's nothing for me. I am for something, nothing is for me. I have to take action and build that something, can I? yes. Will I? God I hope so.

Very saddened by Hayden Panettiere's death but too embarrassed to post this publicly. I watched her on Heroes when I was a kid and thought she was the coolest. You just never think about that kind of thing happening to performers/artists you admire until it happens.....fly high in heaven, Clairebear...

my life is so bad i dont want to be here anymore

bro i have absolutely no idea how many posts i have put out but its like a damn weight off my chest and all after i got my first gf soo i sometimes wonder does she really love me and will our asian parents ever understand love for the same sex

I cant stop relapsing. I dont think im gonna make it to 40 if i keep living like this but i cant stop like i genuinely cant. ive been ⭐️ving and vomiting for a while and it never gets better. It just fluctuates easily . It started when i was 8. Im now 15. And all this looksmaxxing bs on tiktok is triggering me so bad. my organs physically hurt and i can tell ive done damage. My teeth hurt from all the stomach acid. its never enough i just want a better body but i cant really achieve that. And everyone brushes it off telling me that i have a perfrct body. But i know i dont and i know they pity me . My arms are huge. My shoulders are broad and they dont align with my hips, my jawline is fucked, my cheekbones arent that visible, my neck/chest/collarbones arent visible. My waist looks huge but im not sure if thats true . and my Legs are way too short for me to be living with this weight and this amount of fat. I need to lose weight so my legs look decent.

i am so ashamed of my unruly behavior as a child. i would smack people for fun, make mean jokes to make others laugh, take their things and hide them and find it funny, scratch people's hands until they were red and painful, and do inappropriate things like destroy classroom property for attention. i didn't think I was being a bad person or doing anything wrong. but the signs were there. classmates' parents got upset and I got into trouble at school a lot. like how was i so developmentally stunted to not see a problem with myself until MIDDLE SCHOOL. i have never known any other child to do this and if they do, they usually end up becoming some type of criminal or societal parasite. i can't believe i existed. when people say they embraced their inner child, they have it so fucking easy. they weren't a disgusting little monster that made parents uncomfortable to send their children to school.

Emotional starvation is a form of trauma, but I feel so stupid saying it. Like, nothing bad ever happened to me. All the scientific articles and books I've read classify it as trauma. And it makes total sense because I see firsthand how debilitating it is for me. But it's not trauma, because nothing happened to me. Except for the part where I'll get slapped and screamed at if I ever even hint that I don't think my parents ever loved me.

i hate this body, i want to tear my ribcage from the inside, claw my back, eat the hand that feeds me. Why do you make this harder than it has to be? Why do you treat me so kindly when I'm already a step away from irreplaceable damage at every minor inconvenience? why do my hands already grip and pull my own hair at every sob i cry? Touch me against my will, Beat me to a pulp, Kiss me where it hurts, Kick me when I'm down, because atleast you're staying with me. atleast you're a living body beside me. Its always "you dont actually want it!!" i do. i do i do id o ifo ido ido ido i do. Hold my heart, squeeze it, make this easier, let me be the dog i am to you, I'll eat from the trash if you tell me to. Please. give me purpose and just shatter me. My body is not my choice. Do the right thing, stop killing me so kindly.

Debunking arguments agianst the LGBTQ+ community part 1 (and probrably the only one cause I won't write for a while) TW: Mentioned child SA in a religious setting. Please skip if it makes you uncomfortable. Don't force yourself. Saying that homosexuality is a sin is pathetic. Like, okay. Show me proof. They will probrably show a specific Bible verse "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman, for this is an abomination." Levictius 18:22 (Yes, I copy and pasted that) Which, btw, is the wrong translation. The right translation is: "Men shall not lie with young boys as he does with a woman, for it is an abomination.” Hmm.. Quite a different meaning, no? Also, it's quite hypocritical, since there are priests who SA children, and the whole community protects them Btw, I'm not homophobic. Duh

My boyfriend doesnt even like me anymore

I'm starting school again. It's a new school, too. I just moved across the country and away from people I care about. I don't feel like myself. Normally, that's great for me because I struggle with self-hatred, but something just feels different. I feel out of place, which is weird because everyone is so welcoming here. They could just be pretending, Im sure they are. They could just be secretly getting pissed off every time I fuck something off. Something just doesn't sit right with me about myself and this place and I don't know what. Im scared.

Nothing makes me happy anymore. I just work to distract myself, but im destroying myself in the process. I am hopeless.

I, know this guy.We’ll call him S since thats his initial. My situation feels least to say confusing?Since theres a girl we’ll call W, S recently opened up about all his past crushes and he reveals he had a crush on W and still doesn’t know if he still likes her.I also like her.She’s been my crush for a while now.But everyday me and S have been calling and he even introduced me to his friends.Thats when I realized.Do I like him?Do I like her?Do I like any of them?Do any of them like me?I mean, me and W barely talk and she is into all my interests!But S and I have had a few arguments as he gets frustrated easily and most times I can joke around without realizing the deeper meaning.W and S have known each other longer so it’s no doubt if W likes him back.God I sound so selfish but I don’t wanna be the side character in their story!I want atleast one of them to like me back.But, from what I’ve seen, W has stated she has no interest in dating at the moment. Should I let go?

I hate it when people never actually respect my boundaries.I have this thing where like I LOVE touch but shoulders and knees are just a huge no.It just someone annoys and frustrates me when I have to say over and over “Please don’t touch my shoulders or knees it makes me uncomfortable!” politely but it seems to just never get in their head!Maybe it’s just me but it feels like they don’t even care!They always say “you never told me!” “I didn’t know!” “I’m just showing love!” “Why?Your fine with physical touch everywhere else!This isn’t THAT bad!” Or “ I’m your (trusted person or family)!You should let me!” All I want, is someone to actually LISTEN.

Small Rant: Using AI to make an app when you don't have enough time or money to learn how to code is fine. Saying you build is yourself is not. If you generated it, you didn't build it. It's like saying you made the dish in a restaurant just because you ordered if off the menu. People should come clean about using AI (I've been seeing too many ads of one company that all say if you write a prompt, you basically built the app)

I feel incredibly scared saying this, but recently it feels like no one actually listens to ME.Most times they use me for food, someone to vent to, or just someone to hang out with till their actual friends come.I know this probably sounds selfish but I want to be the one people choose first, the part of the day someone looks forwards to or just have peoples attention.My family sucks.I’m probably spoiled to the core as I have everything I could ever want, money and love.But, my middle sister is always yelling, threatening to kill me(has came close to) and just plain rude.My mom is a pushover and gives her anything she wants plus somehow when it comes to me she doesn't even hold back from yelling?My oldest sister is really nice and actually has some sense, my dad is ALWAYS busy but showers me with money and love but still never respects my boundaries.The main thing I want isn’t money nor love.Its basic respect.Loving someone does not mean touching(shoulders or knees)when they say no.

Imagine you're a teen mom right? Stressfull, tiring, and overall starting to becone the norm. But people online say it was optional. They say that you could have chosen nkt to have the kid. But do they know the full story? This is exactly what happened to my sister. She was raped and forced to have the kid so that the rapist can get free child support money once the kid was born. She kept telling people about her struggles, crying almost everyday from the pain and memories of the day. But when she went online about it for help and therapy, many and I mean MANY people, ESPECIALLY fat TikTok users said "Optional btw. Your fault." "Well well well, we know who sleeps around alot" "Slut". Only a few helped, but it wasnt enough. Due to online harassment and death / rape threats online, she ended up dying today. Fuck you all. Get a life. The fact that majority of the people threatening her were women too. People she thought would understand her. I will end up killing myself too.

Hot Take (?): I HATE when people o YouTube ask "what does that mean???" "Can someone explain??" Like We have Google for a reason, broski. It's quicker than waiting for someone to comment back, Brochacho Chip. Most of it is probrably 5 year olds anyways, but it's just annoying

i wish i was never born, i wish my mom never bought me into this world so i wouldnt be such a burden to her like she says so. i have nothing and no one to live for anymore and i just dont see the purpose of being here anymore. no one is on my side, everyone hates me. the ones who are supposed to love me most love me least, but everytime i pick up that cutter i just cant do it, and the feeling of not being able to release my emotions, even if it means hurting myself kills me mentally. i dont wanna live anymore but i cant bring myself to die either.