All Rants

I'm so sad, my husband of 10 years had relations with someone else and I am guessing this is what a heartbreak feels like, I hate comparing myself to her

idk i always feel like a big burden to everyone and i feel like i try too hard and nobody genuinely likes talking to me. i feel like all of my friends hate me and sometimes they love talking to me which makes me feel some kind of way i cant explain. its hard to get this off my chest and talk to someone about it because they’ll think im “overthinking” or “being dramatic” when it genuinely hurts my feelings and i feel like nobody like talking to me and they just do it to be nice. i dont want to vent to anybody because i feel its gonna put tons of pressure on them. and i dont want my friends to feel like the “venting friend” i love my friends i really do but i just dont think they love me back or im just no ones first choice or option as a friend anymore. i genuinely hate myself and i have no one to talk to.

I want someone to tell me what I am, even if they’re not an expert or whatever. I really like the taste of my own blood and I really wanted to try my brother’s blood when it got on me. I know it sounds so fucking cringe (or at least it does to me) but it’s just true. I also kind of get horny at the sight of blood or gore when no one is around, like I lowk have a pic of Mrs. Worden from Ed Gein’s case file all hung up and mutilated and it looks so gorgeous. I’m also having urges to just see blood, no matter the source (as long as Ik the person + it’s not an animal/younger) and I started jokingly threatening my brother and he told me he was scared of me. I don’t want him to be scared. Please just someone, anyone let me know what the hell this is. I fucking hate it so much, and I just want to put a name on it so I don’t feel messy. Ik it sounds so fucking cringe and fake and stupid but just please believe me. I’m sorry, please.

I feel like I am not doing enough and that I am undiagnosed of ADHD, I cannot keep habits consistent and I struggle with attention and everything I see every task hard to do, I am often misunderstood and I hate how my struggles goes unnoticed by teachers, I have anxiety over tests that makes me memorize many things for all subject and I studied..but my efforts don’t seem to seen by others, I feel like I am not doing enough or I am being dramatic or I just had to try harder..

Guys are the stupidest people on the planet… I literally felt unsafe somewhere and he couldn’t even ask me how I was getting home or how he could help me get home and yet he claims to be “into me” what a joke.. given, he was sorta preoccupied with something else at the time but how long does it really take to check-in??

Schools starting and my bf ghosted me, my bff told me she didn’t want to be my bff anymore and I was added to a school group chat and then removed. God, save me, this all happened over text

so fucking slutty and perverted I imagine them using a strap-on on me and I use a fucking hammer as a d1ldo bc i don’t have one 🥲 (I lowk also get off while cutting up my thighs cuz i imagine them doing it 😭)

i hate my job. i’m a BT and i’m not enjoying one bit of it. I am struggling to find happiness. I need something new. I have too much going on in life i’m burnt out and drained. I don’t know how much longer I can do this.

I tried putting myself out there and actually found someone, but their insecurities fueled mine, and I found myself backed into the same corner I was as a child when I would be accused of something I fucking knew I didn’t do, but I couldn’t prove I didn’t do it. I guess it brought up all that trauma and now I’m scared off of ever trying.

ok ewww I need therapy basically I’m a teen girl and I freaking yearn for an older man, it must be a phase tho and I don’t think I’ll stay like this forever bc I mean men in their 20s and 30s, once I’m that age I think I’ll be fine. deadass I’m resisting the fucking urge to find one bc I’ve already been groomed when I was younger. I know it’ll do no good for me but like they gave me attention👀👀

Today was the day I finally realized that I actually weight almost 200 lbs. As a teenager this hit harder for me than I ever would've thought. I never would've imagined that I look on the scale and actually see 200 lbs as the number. Growing up, I've always felt very insecure and ashamed of my body. It's not something I can easily talk about with others, but now I feel a little bit more open to it. I've never felt so "fat" or "overweight" because technically I am overweight. I just hope that one day, I finally reach my dream weight and feel secure within myself.

you know it’s bad when you have to looking up sad videos just to cry over life.

I’m so unsatisfied with myself. I feel so empty all the time. I suspect I have OCD when last year my intrusive thoughts got so bad i wanted to kms. No one knows, and I won’t tell them. There’s no point. Im over it now that ive realized it never really mattered. Now it feels like there’s this barrier between me and everyone else though. I can never seem to open up to anyone about anything, even silly things, because I’ll just look weak and childish and it’s not like they’ll even be interested Im my life. People just want to talk about themselves. Can’t judge, since Im the same. The only time Im happy is when I daydream so much it becomes maladaptive. Daydreams have become the only place I can truly be myself. It fucking sucks, and it’s pathetic as hell.I just want to sleep forever since emotions are so fucking tiring to feel. I feel like nothing matters and every one should just realize it already. I want to feel so fucking low that someone will comfort and love me, to understand me

i fucking hate being tall. im always being looked at and it makes me feel even more insecure. my weight is also higher because im taller and i hate it 5'11 and 150 makes me want to die i also js feel like i look stupid and out of place

im abt to start highschool and im fucking terrified and tired i dont want more work and expectations

my parents and my sister seem to hate me so much sometimes, like they say that they love me but then they talk bad to me I don't listen to me. I suffer from anxiety and have panic attacks frequently but my sister's says that it's all in my head and I am just making it up to have attention. My dates with my psychologist were only two or three times (they were free btw) and then my mother didn't want me to go again because she said that it didn't work and that I just need to control my emotions. My sister mocks me and says that if I'm dependant on my psychologist. That was in October 2024, since that, they haven't got me a date again with any psychologist I just don't want to live anymore but I think about those people that I care about and I can't kms because I know that would make them sad and if I kms my parents would treat my two sisters bad and I don't want them to suffer the same that I'm suffering because I care about them. I just hate myself so much.

Im tired of living with people who have the entitlment mentality. They have no self accountability, are selfish, lazy, dont want to contribute anything but are ALWAYS expecting others to do for them. Like its owed to them.

I've noticed that epople only care about me if I pay them.

There is not a single thing about myself that I like, and not a single thing that I think anyone else would like. I am so lonely but I don't think I'll ever find a life partner. I was married before, I became a widow at the age of 32. My husband wasn't a bad person but he was emotionally distant/negligent. I have AuDHD, and am a super awkward, socially anxious, physically ugly woman who can't seem to find a way to connect with most people. Who wants to date a 38 year old widow/single mom with autism, ADHD, OCD and anxiety who can't even work anymore and who is stuck financially supporting her parents with the social security checks she gets because her husband died? I'm so certain I'm going to grow old and die alone and it makes me want to just end it now, though I can't. I'm afraid to die, and I have two young kids who need me. I can't stand being here. I fantasize about not being here anymore, or about being someone else entirely. Someone I like. Someone attractive, charismatic, etc.

I feel so shitty at the moment my anxiety is getting worse which leads to anxiety attacks and crying not to mention school starts soon and I’m going in to year 9 and I feel like it gets harder each year on the first day bc you wonder do I have everything do I remember where each class is and do I know the teacher and are they nice and will I be able to concentrate and in year 9 u get a new tutor and like no one has met him since he is a new teacher and I have options this year as well 😭😭😭