All Rants

I hate my body so so much. I'm so thin that I can see my ribs poke out when I lean my body backwards. I can see my veins and arteries on my forearm. I'm severely underweight. It doesn't help that I'm 5 foot 5 and a boy. I still have a few years left until I'll stop growing completely, but it's just so painful to look at myself. I hate the way others look at me like I'm some kind of malnourished scrawny little rat. I just can't gain weight for the life of it!! I hate that the weather is changing and now I have to wear t shirts so everyone can see my thin arms. I've barely gained any weight since so long. Doesn't help that I live in a terrible and judgmental country. It just makes me not want to go outdoors. It's not that I hate the outdoors, quite the opposite, I just hate society's expectations. I'm really glad that my parents don't mind as much as I do. I can't ever stop wondering when I'll stop being below 15kg/m2. It's really infuriating and messes up my confidence and self-esteem!!

We are going to be hanging out for the first time today. I know it's just over a discord call, but I can't help but be excited about it. I wonder how different your voice sounds over the phone, and I'm so excited to know what your thoughts and opinions are on the show you've been watching. You're probably the biggest fan of said show that I know out there. Tbh it's really cute how excited it makes you, and hopefully, as time passes, you'll let me know what other topics and hobbies get you that excited. I'm excited about all of it, but also a little nervous because I'm not the best at phone conversation. Although, I really hope that conversation flows as smoothly with you over calls as it does when we're in person. Anyways, enough about that. Can't wait to hang out later today, and I hope you feel the same! 🥰

I'm absolutely disgusted in learning that someone I know had a romantic relationship with someone underage. The relationship only ended because that person broke it off, and I don't know how to process the anger I feel towards the adult in the situation. It's not about me. And yet, I still want to confront them about this since they don't know that I know.

There is a boy from school that I like very much and I think he likes me back. I mean, he shows all of the signs of liking me back and the one person that knows I like him thinks he likes me too but I am at a crossroad because I don't know if I should tell him or not because he isn't apart of my religion so my mom would never agree and if I do tell him I like him I can't just ask him to wait for me. Can I? He is only a year older than me so not a huge age gap but part of me feels like maintaining a relationship with him and God together would be hard and of course I love God so much more than this boy but at the same time this boy means a lot and I guess I would never sacrifice my relationship with God for a boy I don't know what to do!

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck ive been in uni with no breaks for 20 months straight and i wanna blow my shit off smoveeeeeee got one last shitty ass final tomorrow which im just not prepared for and trying to cram as much as i can this suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks I WANNA BE A DEGENERATE PLEASE GOD, NO WORRIES JUST DO WHATEVER I WANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. WHY DIDNT I DECIDE NOT DO A SHITTY ASS 4 YEAR STEM MAJOR WHICH JOB PROSPECTS ARE AND WILL BE DOG SHIT FOR ATLEAST THE NEXT 3 YEARSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! I WANNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

i just dont feel helpful enough, everyday im loosing my spark over loosing a couple friends. i just wanna escape the real world and stay in bed.. my mother talks to a random man on the phone. my mama gambles- im only 10- i never had a childhood. my parents are divorced. i wanna stay at my dads cause he's the only one who brightens up my world. hes the only person i talk to, i jsut dont feel good enough. im going insane with all these thoughts.. help me escape plz.

I’m 17, I am looking for a job but I have had no look with getting hired. I’m starting college next year, and it’s expensive, I don’t want to rely on my parents to pay for it all, it’s not fair to them. I also need to get another car, as mine isn’t doing well. I’m stressing about the money situation, because i feel like this is all relying on me. I don’t want to burden them with my feelings like this, I never do, I just fight through it because I don’t know what else to do. I’ve been trying to find side hustles to pay for all this and everything but I’m struggling. My family isn’t poor or anything, I just feel super guilty with them paying for all this stuff for me. They deserve better, I feel so behind at my age, people are already making 5 figures a month and I don’t even have a job, I feel worthless. But I’m not sure what else to do, so I’ll just keep fighting I guess, try and find my way out of this.

this is why i hate my race. i know what lies deep down those masks. each one of them just critizing waiting for someone to mess up and hiding behind their religious beliefs. so fucking annoying i wish everyone super religious can just be erased off the planet of earth but in a gruesome way because all they do is cause pain and anxiety onto other people its disgusting. their self definition of rightness is disgusting. also the victimizing dont even get me started. they think they had it the worse because of all the "demons" (aka struggles) in their life. sometimes we do need to compare our struggles to others and recognize we didnt have it so bad instead of being boohoo poor me like no. like this bitch telling me she was hit by her parents but loved by her friends. wasnt loved by her husband but found someone else who loved her. people dont see how good they have it someday and just victimize themselves. poor me my past was so bad so idk why ur not helping me and feeling bad forme.stfu

you ever just feel like the one person you wanted to believe in you doesnt, no matter what i fucking do there is always this distrust because of every idiotic stupid person in her life who gives her advice. maybe saying im in the wrong and how she shouldnt be apologizing cause shes the granda. fuck this stupid fucking idiotic life bro. i wish i was dead. no matter what i say she never believes in me and when i joke and feed into her lies its like she was finally proven right and she was always right. thats what pisses me off the most cause she isnt right shes always been in the wrong about me since day fucking one. never took time to understand me NOT ONE FUCKNG TIME. this is wrong for me to say but i wish she could fucking die and be gutted right in front of me. i want to be the one gutting her, stripping her of any rightousness she thinks she has. its all a lie which she has been hiding behind for many years. somene end her pls, she stains the world and everyone on her side.

I hate it when people are nice to me. I know I should be grateful for my wonderful friends who want to make me feel better but it frustrates me. It feels like they're just doing it to feel better about themselves, I know it isn't. It reminds me that I'm falling short as a friend. I cant be there for them. I cant start conversations or tell them I love them because it freaks me out. And they're so patient when they should hate me for all of that. I have no right to be mad about it but I am.

I haven't been engaged very long, and I am very well aware he has been married before, and idk if I'm being immature or if this is valid, but I have always wanted this one song to be for my father-daughter dance, and he just told me no because of his ex Im not sure if im being childish or not but this kinda hurts as i have planned a dream wedding since i was little and the song is the only thing that has never changed. I wish he understood how I was feeling, but it hurts me also because that song has always been special to me, and now I can't use it for my special day. It genuinely pisses me off that we start talking about weddings, and he keeps b up his ex-wife and his ex-partner. I don't know if he just isn't completely over them or no I hope I won't be a mistake &I hope he genuinely cares & all he does when he brings them up is make me worry that he wants to go back to them & it makes me very insecure and makes me feel extremely childish. Am I crazy or being immature idk.

LIve be debating on if life is really worth living or not, and would like to know if theres a couple things genuinely wrong with me

I hate how people treat me like nothing. People always take advantage of me or treat me bad or treat like im nothing. I have no friends or family. Im so sick of how people treat me. When im kind people treat me like shit. When im an asshole people treat me better but i dont want to treat people bad.

I don't belive her. I don't belive her relationship with MY BOYFRIEND is only about drugs. Maybe I should of asked her -"have you ever done anything at all ever with him even before he and I were together for drugs or under the influence of drugs?" If it's so fucking innocent then why is it such a big deal why so sneaky and secretive ? I don't understand ...I just can't handle much more .

I have so much hatred for myself no girls have any interest in me everyone bullies me bcs of my height and size I get treated differently I wish I was js normal like everyone else instead of having to do something js for people to show normal empathy towards me

So I am middle-aged you know 56 years old and my entire life I was a drug addict and then I got clean and I was living I got housing and energy assistant and all this stuff and I went and got myself full-time job and I stayed on it for a year and a half now and I was on housing so mind you housing my was last year it was 609 was my portion right And I've never had income before so this is crazy to me too but and then this year I just got recertified and they raised my rent to $1,000 and they took away all my food stamps and I have a daughter I have two daughters actually but one that lives with me and I feel like I need to just quit because it was so much easier because I'm one paycheck away from being homeless and I'm working my ass off I'm only making $17 an hour remind you but I've stayed at this job for a whole year and a half and I'm not sure what to do I've got myself in more debt than I could even imagine it's so stressful ..... I'm doing the right thing and contributing to comm

After mom died, something in me js shut off. I kept telling everyone I was amazing, that I was handling it, that I just needed time. And I believed that for a while. But I never really let myself feel it. I just kept distracting myself, kept everything numb because it was easier than letting it hurt. I know it hurt her. I was always somewhere else even when I was right there. I saw it in her face, in the way shed try to get through to me and I’d js stall out. I didn’t know how to give her what she needed. I didn’t even know how to understand what I was feeling, so I just kept pushing it down and hoping it would sort itself out. Everything I didn’t deal with just kept building up. The grief, the distance, the guilt of knowing I was messing things up and not being able to stop. It’s like I’ve been holding my breath for years without realizing it, and now I don’t know what to do now that it's come out. I'm tired and i cant keep going. I'm sorry my love and I'm sorry to those in my life.

My girlfriend is worried because her mother doesnt have a car, their power is getting shut off in two days and its 900$ which they dont have and i want to help but i dont have that kind of money rn and im so worried shes going to do something to herself even tho she promised she wouldnt. shes struggled with mental health a lot before, and im just worried. to make matters worse, she drops this on my deceased mothers birthday, and i know thats not her fault but i was feeling extremely depressed before and now its worse. i dont know what to do. i want to help but im not in the place to do so. idk. Im tired of it but i cant lose her or leave her.

I'm not homophoic but it feels weird when my brother who doesn't have a job, needs help putting on his own shoes and moving a small table in his room, and has autism and is influenced easily is buying cat pantyhoes and fake silicon boobs and I don't want to tell my mom that I feel like my brother us kinda a weirdo but when he started telling her all this she's just like it runs in his family and there's not anything we can do about. I've also just felt like recently my feeling are all put aside because I had to grow up fast and act like an adult at a young age because my mom wanted a perfect assistant so anytime I have emotions or want to cry I have to hide it and cry at night so i don't know what to do anymore and I just feel like I wish my life was more normal.

I’m so tired. Every day seems to go wrong for me. Every time I think I have a chance of getting better, it all just comes crashing down again. Suicide and self harm and stuff have come back to haunt my thoughts after around a years time of ‘recovering.’ I haven’t relapsed, but the thought sounds appealing, sometimes. I day dream about how my death would affect the people around me, how they would finally see how much I was suffering. I can barely feel loved anymore. One wrong tone sets me off and I break down again. My attachment issues are so bad, especially towards my girlfriend. And I feel like I’m always annoying her with all of my anxiousness. I just wish I could somehow prove I’m not okay, that I could get some actual comfort and sympathy. I’m constantly drained, in physical and mental pain, and everyone pushes me farther to my limit. I’m really, really trying my hardest, but I’m not this strong. I can’t do this anymore. I wish I was gone.