All Rants

I cant keep anything together. All my friendships end mostly because me me. My family is falling apart piece by piece. I haven't even seen my sister in almost 3 fucking years. My brother that still lives at home with me gets set off by everything I say and Im tired of it. My grandparents are not doing well my parents arnt and everything is just fucked up. I cant even remember a night were I haven't cried myself to sleep. I feel so fucking pathetic

I hate being a woman I wish I could be a man not in a transgender way in a way that I wish I could go back in time and change my whole biology. It seems as if men have it so easy. I know they go through multiple things that are bad, but a little part of me thinks that my life would’ve been a lot easier if I came out a man people take me more seriously I wouldn’t have to look behind me when I walk at night so many things would be different and maybe she would like me

I am terrified!! I have a stalker and he's lowkey terrifying. We met through and online friend, but turns out he lives 30 min away from me!! He has access to firearms, even though I don't think he's at a legal age to have access. He has figured out where I work!! I have finally contacted the police, and finally blocked him. I haven't earlier because I was scared of retaliation! Then, today, I was walking and I swear I saw him!!! This dude looked exactly like him and was staring at me!!! But then, he took his hat off and his hair color was different. BUT I WAS SO SCARED I CRIED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET!!!! It was a little embarrassing 😅😭

Lilli, I miss you so fucking much. I miss talking to you during science, I miss your lore drops, I miss English together, I miss ramming into you to give you the biggest hugs of the day, I miss ranting to each other about our crushes, hell, I even miss crying with you the day you told me you were moving. It was selfish of me, I know, but at that time you were one of the only people in this wretched world who I trusted, who made me feel worth while, who, for once, didn’t make me want to kill myself. I miss you so much to the point where when I’m so sad I can’t even breathe, I just wanted you. You are the one person in this world that understands me and doesn’t literally bully me for being different. I miss you so much, dude, and I love you. Forever your best friend, Ollie. (The one person who hasn’t gotten over the fact that your now four hours away)

My sister was saying that my brother was the favorite child of mom. I agreed. Mom got mad at both of us and said we should go and live with dad now that my brother is the favorite child. I’ll say that he isn’t the favorite child but sometimes…it feels like it. I’m jealous of him. I guess the jealousy started in 6th grade. I realized that I got a bad math score. I was so worried over my bad grade that I had to tell my mom. I don’t remember what she said but I think it wasn’t anything bad. Then in 7th grade, he started tutoring me when I was struggling in math. Sometimes he got frustrated with me and kicked me out of his room for not understanding. It hurt me so bad.

I have nothing beautiful to say.

One day at school, I had a math test. I got a 10 or possibly even lower score out of 30. I told my friends about it and they laughed. I laughed too. After the jokes were over, I started tearing up. I failed a test.

I miss the person I used too be. Before I cut off poeple in my live just because everyone was telling me they were bad for me. I miss being innocent I miss when I dident care abt my weight. I miss when crying wasnt what my parents call self pity when I wasnt called selfish for hateing my body. I wish I could go back. Maybe in another life I would never have picked up the blade or talked to that one person. Maybe in another life id have people who love me. I did have that in this life but thats gone now because me and I cant get that back. I just wish it could go back to normal like I wake up and its all a dream. Like the stuff I've done never happened and I wake up and im back to being a normal kid..

My best friend likes my crush. In this singular fucking day I saw the way he looked at her, the way he went out of his fucking way to talk to her, he looks at her the way I wish he would look at me. I’ve had my heart broken so often. I don’t know why it hurts so much fucking more now, I should be used to this. I want to brutally rip out my own heart, to stop me from loving anyone, or at least change what ever I can to be more appealing to him. I fucking love that boy. He makes me feel like I’m important and now someone who can be harassed. I went home and stared at my ceiling for two fucking hours. God I hate this. I hate myself. I hate that he will probably never love me back. I hate that I’m so fucking selfish that I can’t even be happy for my best friend, I just love him so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Fuck, I’m only in highschool. I just want him

Yes I was raped by my 11 yo cousin when I was 8. Yes istill feel her hands all over me. She stuck her fingers up there. Yes she's still my favorite cousin to this day. Yes I'm unsure if I should forgive her. Yes I've had failed attempts at suicide. Yes I cut myself. Yes im ending everything tonight.

I've been severaly depressed more than half of my life. I suffered from self harm, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, and social anxiety. I used to think I was disgusting and I still do. Middle school was an absolute hell for me. I'd get bullied for being quiet that it made me think it was bc I was fat or ugly. Ik unsure if thats still the reasons why. My family is extremely religious and I'm a closeted bisexual with internalised homophobia. I'm horrified and almost throw up at the thought of ever coming out to my friends and family. I can never feel good or decent in my household. They talk about how lazy I am and how I'm disrespectful and fat. I'm not happy at home or at school. I'm going to 9th grade and I'm terrified. I don't want to please don't make me go I'm so scared

I wanna date a girl again ughhh im tired of these fuckass men

as a bisexual girl it’s so hard to find anyone else who’s ACTUALLY bisexual. Honestly I’m bisexual as in 50/50 but ofc bi men/women are vaild regardless if it’s male or female preference but ppl just say they’re bisexual just cus. you don’t need to have male/female exs to prove it like it’s all based on attraction. I just feel like people don’t know what it really means and don’t actually take it seriously. anyway I love dick I love boobs I love pussy I love men I love women mwa

I hate you sm. You ruined me. You broke me. But I feel like I broke you I feel I’m the reason you do that to yourself I feel I did smth wrong to you. But you did all those things to me. You put ur hands on me. You used me to make you feel better. You caused me to start harming myself. You made my anxiety worsen so much I had panic attacks from you just ignoring me for an hour. I cried for you so many times, but why didn’t you cry for me? Why did you do those things. Why did you use me. Why didn’t you tell me that you didn’t love me. Why? I hate you sm. I hate how I’m being forced to stay around you.

I was just staring at myself thinking until a huge wave of everything I’ve been holding in came down. I started having a panic attack and I just couldn’t stop until I stopped and just cried for idk how long but it felt like forever. I was planning on killing myself or harming myself heavily to where I wasn’t going to hide it. But after the cry I still didn’t feel better I didn’t feel good I still wanted to die I still wanted to harm myself. I always feel like I’m sad and idk how to let it out the only way solution is to harm myself I feel it’s my only option. I’ve been clean for so long cuz Ive been waiting, waiting for a time where I can hide it easily and no one would question me for wearing long sleeves or jackets to cover myself.

I’m so tired of being a loser. I’m ugly, I have no hobbies, my rooms gross, no guys like me, I have no friends, I’m bad at school, and my family hates me. There’s no escape from any of it either. School is hell and home is too. So I’m just left barely existing. I’m just so tired. I don’t have the guts to actually kms but i honestly think about it every day.

My friend had just lied to me and I’m finally realizing all the things she’s done that aren’t ok. We tell her not to say anything because we could get in trouble but she still does it, she ignores wtv we tell her not to do. She doesn’t listen. Now she lost my trust and idk what to do and how to end friendship with her. I already knew someone was going to die this year. I’ve known for a while but I was dreading it to be her or anyone.

i genuinely can't believe that u were my fucking first. i can't even decide wth to trust u or not but i do cus i still like you, i still love u but gosh ur actions r saying the opposite damned u. i really love you.

I can’t believe I put up with you for so long. I really believed you could change. Now when I actually WANT to leave I’m scared I’ll lose you to something worse. You aren’t a good person, nor a good friend. It took me too long to find out to the point where YOUR EX dm’d me to tell me about everything. I’m so grateful she did.

What's a boundary someone crossed that you're still processing? I was raped. Sexualized. I was 4. The.knife feels pleasent. If you stabbed me I'd push it deeper to be closer.to.you. IM committing now. Goodbye