All Rants

cont... its not going to fix itself. Find healthy outlets, like this, that makes u feel like u let some weight off ur shoulders. DO NOT hurt urself...its not cool having psychomotor issues when ur older b/c u thought it was cool slitting ur wrists when u were 15 or some shit...ya thats ONE issue that can happen if u cut, cant even grab a controller, type on a keyboard, or pinch a thread or coin or some shit. Or have organ failure when u downed some pills or did too many drugs...yea so fun..w.e content that ur absorbing saying that self harm is cool dont tell u that when u get older ur body fails on u b/c of things u did when u were younger...yea so cool when u have random shots of pain from ur body b/c u self harmed x years ago. U will know..

I have been reading every post on here for the last couple of months. There is a recurrent topic of self exit and depression that many posters vent about. It makes me sad to read that ppl feel like there is no reason to live life or try to get out of the rut they r in. I think most of the posts related to self exit are made from ppl that are chronically online, have terrible living situations, terrible parents, etc. I know when I was a teenager it was almost cool to slit ur wrists and be depressive but really it isnt. Whats cool is living the life u want doing the things u want, traveling, having a house, a family, a functional life that ur a responsible participant in. Doing the most w/ ur life and living like u won the lottery. Ppl that attempt have lots of mental illnesses (ya that is cool still too, so sad), physical complications, and it gets worse when u get older. To think youngins are breaking their body down even when its still growing is so sad. Its not going to fix itself it

im so tired, im expected of so little yet it feels like so much. im homeschooled which should make my life and learning easier because theres hardly any pressure put on me, but every time i want to focus on my work my cognitive issues just seem to ruin everything for me. im always distracted, i keep skipping over words when i read and im always unable to process everything properly when its school related. i feel like i have nobody to relate to, i feel alone, and i know i have to push through it but i have no idea how im supposed to when i feel completely and physically unable to do so. i just wish i was born differently, i dont want to be the way that i am. im exhausted even though i have done nothing with my life. at this point im positive im never going to get out of this hole. i feel so stuck and hopeless

I'm feeling sad, I dont have many people to talk about my emotions with besides my boyfriend and my parents i dont have anyone else to talk to. I feel alone and invisible sometimes when people don't understand my quirkiness, I'm different from everyone else and whenever i express my emotions outloud my family get frustrated by it and its not good to keep my emotions bottled up its best to tell someone how your feeling so they can help you. I just want somewhere like a big open field where i can go to yell and scream and cry and nobody can hear me and im not affecting other people when i do it

ever since my mom went to her friend's daughter's funeral i havent been able to do anything. i didnt know her but she was living life just like me and couldnt take it. i havent been able to leave the house and am definitelt going to fail all my current classes. how am i suppozed to look my mother in the face and tell her "sorry for wasting all your money, its just i havent been able to get out of bed bc im too busy thinking abt how much i understand that girl." its not fair to her. it feels better to shut myself away but it just postpones the issue. i have to tell her but what will happen when i do? im so tired of everything but i cant bear to tell anyone. i feel so selfish just typing this out. im so tired of feeling guilty.

i feel so uncomfortable in my body. i wish i wasn't born like this but i just had to. god i would give anything to change my body, my gender, my name, everything. it hurts hearing my family and relatives calling me a girl and using she/her pronouns on me but i'm too afraid to come out because i know there's a chance they won't support me and that is one of my biggest fears

im not sure if i’ll leave later today. im scared, i never really wanted to die. but im exhausted, it doesnt seem like there’s anything to hold on to. i tried to fill my promises to live with white lies. i do want to live, but it’s tiring to keep going this long. everyday more pain, physically and mentally. trying to hold on, but not trying enough. i’m just giving up. i wish i could apologize for all my wrong doings. im sorry to those i hurt, and im sorry if i wasn’t enough to keep going on. if i do go, i wouldn’t want anyone to blame themselves. even if ive gotten so hurt by them, just forgive yourselves. i was just tired is all. love you

I don't know, everything just feels so plain and like nothing. Work is meh, the daily routine with toddler feels like a secondary work. Married life has stagnated after 10 years, there's not much closeness, laughing and goofying around together anymore. There are no other plans than work, try to get more money, buy a bigger apartment, watch the kid grow old, and what then? Is there anything else to life than just flowing through it and then be done with it. Why are we here, what are we supposed to do? What should I do to actually feel happy about life and enjoy it?

im scared to leave because they'll do something bad. theyve become so codependent with me that im scared of doing anything, we fight once and theyve set a date and all i can do is sit and watch. i dont know how to help if i cant help myself.

I thought my BF of nearly 3 years and I were gonna move in together in his state of schooling after he graduated in May and I’ve been sending him rentals and apartments. He just dropped on me today he’s staying for another 1/2 years and renting with his friends. I feel so hurt and blindsided. I’m not against him doing this. I’m hurt to feel completely forgotten about in the planning and be an after thought in his life when we’ve already been long distance this whole time. Why never discuss this or tell me you were thinking about this? And to tell me it’s because life is hard? Mine is hard too. I’ve been on my own since I was 20 renting with friends. I want to be with YOU. We could’ve gotten a place and had your friends move in with us. Now there’s no place for me and I’m stuck here waiting for him until he feels ready. If you weren’t ready, why didn’t you talk to me and lead me on for months thinking this was gonna happen?

For the past few weeks I’ve just felt so alone and unmotivated to do literally anything. I have no energy or passion to do any of the things that used to bring me happiness. It’s hard to get up in the morning because I just feel so tired and sad. It’s like a constant sadness that won’t go away. I feel like my friends are drifting away from me because I’m not the usual happy and optimistic person I always am. It hurts because I can literally see myself getting replaced in real time. My family is so dysfunctional and I can’t seem to catch a break from anything. School is burning me out and I just want it all to end. I don’t understand how I was so happy just a few months ago, and now I feel so hopeless. What’s wrong with me?

My wife is completely disabled from OCD and I can't take it anymore but I would feel so guilty if I just walked away.

im so scared. my friend disappeared entirely like two days ago. ive emailed him relentlessly. he deleted his tiktok account and his discord account. there was no last message, no 'i need space', no 'ill be going offline for a while'. hes just gone. completely. im scared that hes gonna try to khs again. im scared. hes my best friend. hes the one who tells me 'you got this'. i dont know what happened. i noticed he was feeling low, sure, but it didnt seem that bad. i called with him just hours before i realised he disappeared. now im thinking, did i do something wrong? could i have made it better? but i cant even ask that BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. im under the impression that something really bad happened to him. i know him. he wouldve told me. i think. i dont know anymore. i think i knew him. i think i do know him but hes just gone and i dont fycking know. im scared. im scared he wont come back. im scared that im gonna lose my best friend forever. where is he? wheres my bee?

I need to get help. Someway, somehow, I need help. I have relapsed my self-harming over five times this year, and I don't know what to do. I truly need to stop. My parents are going to find out at some point, and then I'll just be in deeper shit than I am already in now. I just need a moment where everything can stop. Just for like- thirty seconds. I just need thirty seconds where I can feel like my heart and mind can have a break. Where I can just breathe. When will I ever get those thirty seconds?

!!!TW SH!!! I've started cutting my self more, I like the feeling of it, its hard to hide because im fucking stupid and cut on my wrists which is like THE worst spot to cut on ( for me at lest) because I sweat easily and it STINKS it smells like onions and I fucking hate it, but anyways, I found an old pocket knife and cut myself with that, I have cut on my thighs and wrists. I do it because I like the feeling of it, I like the way I wince when doing it, I have scissors in my room and might cut myself later on my thighs, but like... idk, but I needed to get it out because it's my first time cutting and it FEELS SO FUCKING GOOD AND NICE theheheh

Feeling like an idiot because I made a mistake. I keep making mistakes each week and they’re piling up. I don’t think my anxiety can take much more. I wish I had someone in my life to reassure me that everything will be okay, even if it’s a lie.

I will get rid of my life by the end of the week most likely

i predict that i will die at 22 and i will die a virgin. my mental health is all over the place. home doesnt feel like home, i hate my body and how it’s mine forever, i hate how i look, i hate what im going through, i hate how i have too many responsibilities to give up, i hate how ive failed committing twice, i hate how now matter how hard i try — i see no meaning and i see no worth in continuing to live other than to live for other people. seriously, what the hell do i do with myself? at the end of the day, everyone dies. i might as well rid the government of another immigrant and rid the government another person to be responsible over. i might as well stop making my friends feel too special, or they’ll feel they're the only reason im alive. i might as well stop wasting everyones time and disappear, it’s just easier that way. idk lol

Have you ever looked around and realized that your friends aren’t really your friends? To you there your main friend group. But really they all have a list of people they would choose before you. Like when you’re in a circle talking, they push you out. When your walking in a line and they close into together and push you out and your just walking awkwardly behind them. I honestly don’t think they’re doing these things to hurt my feelings. They just don’t care. They don’t care if I’m there or not cause they’ll never notice and unless I force myself into conversations. They don’t care if they’re leaving me out cause they don’t see me as a person. The one person I genuinely love hanging out with, who pushed all the people I loved to hangout w her, just doesn’t care anymore. She was and still always is my first choice but she would pick so many people before me. She used to be not popular but ever since she has been she’s just been walking right past me to talk to her cool friends.

i actually hate the people i have surrounded myself with! i forgot how much i actually dont like these people. i keep thinking its my fault becuase i have a mental disorder but no. these guys actually suck!! I need to go back to being a furry and making art and reading and rock climbing and running and archery and writing books and watching animated shows and stupid furry animations and playing video games. i need to go back to art and skateboarding and keeping up my grades and making awesome culinary stuff. i just fucking hate these people. im thinking about doing culiary stuff after high school. or mabye learning french? going to france? i love culinary things and i think i might want to do that over the medical feild. i feel awful for saying that becuase I got my moms hopes up by saying i wanted to be an emt. but that was when i wanted to kill myself, and was self harming.