All Rants

Yesterday was the worst. The doctor i have sucks. All I was trying to do is get my medication and they made it a huge ordeal out of it. They are the most unorganized people there. Why does it take 45 minutes to make a stupid appointment!? They are the worst at communicating! I will not go there ever again.

What's something you wish you could say to someone but the relationship is too fragile? Relatives and fam both are hardly wrong in their own eyes. So they don't want to listen to their faults. ESPECIALLY when it comes to their raging drunkenness. Idk why I'm writing this it's too early. But it's true. When the one sobers up they don't wanna hear about how they cussed us or what they did. Embarrassment isn't an excuse for aggressive behavior they have towards us and simply blame it on the cause of the drunkenness rather than own it. Yeah thanks that leaves me with a heck of a lot of memories and crap they've said. Like once they told one to go crawl up in their mommy's vag and die. That's only one of many awful things they've said. Yeah it's ok don't worry about everything up in my head that you caused to be their concerning your drunkenness. Nor will they apologize for it.

I left my ex of 4 years to path of bettering myself for over the past 4 months. Which I have received results but in return, my need for money has grown like a hunger that cant be fulfilled , my feelings are gone. While in the 4 months I was up in QLD from 29th of may to the 29th of august, and in that time I did nothing but work 10-14 hours a day. And somewhere along the lines i musta have locked my emotions, truely I feel nothing; not sadness, not happiness nor anger, just empty.

Why is this so fucking hard for me to not play therapy yet or to get stomped on :( I just wish there was someone who would listen to me at my happiest. I just wish I was happier than I am now. I can't believe that this is the life I choose to live. Sigh. I don't want to kms, I just wish to be respected more. I just wish my memories weren't so mushy and made up of daydreams and full of pain. Growth is pain, right? But I'm going through too much fucking pain. Not enough growth. Better hide myself, spread myself to everyone, get money then save save save... "This is your life!", they say. Well, this life is fucking shit. Gotta sleep some more. Fuck you. Go to sleep.

Why is this so fucking hard for me to not play therapy yet or to get stomped on :( I just wish there was someone who would listen to me at my happiest. I just wish I was happier than I am now. I can't believe that this is the life I choose to live. Sigh. I don't want to kms, I just wish to be respected more. I just wish my memories weren't so mushy and made up of daydreams and full of pain. Growth is pain, right? But I'm going through too much fucking pain. Not enough growth. Better hide myself, spread myself to everyone, get money then save save save... "This is your life!", they say. Well, this life is fucking shit. Gotta sleep some more. Fuck you. Go to sleep.

spent an entire almost 2 weeks worried my mom was gonna die while dealing w two of my favorite people in the world telling me in essence that im a horrible person what am i supposed to do with any of that. im disgusted. i mortified. ive been keeping to my fucking self so much everything and everything but its not like they didnt know what the fuck was going on and i have so so many words i could say to them but why should i. i just let people walk alll over me day and night and i just take it and when i do finally speak the fuck up im told to pipe down and get it together. im angry. im angry and im hurt that the one time i needed someone there for me, really really needed someone there, this was all i got. down a friend and probably soon to be down a boyfriend too. while im tearing my hair out terrified my mother is going to pass away. it's so sickening. what did i ever do?

so like 2 of my friends tried to accuse me of being racist to Asians 🫩✌🏾 literally I was otp with one of them and my tv started playing some Chinese flutes and waterfall or some shit so I was confused for a sec and told her my tv played some Chinese music BECAUSE THATS WHAT IT FUCKING SAID?? and like I was Omegle with my other friend at her house and I was talking about how yellow I am, same with my brother and dad, later on I found out we just have an olive skin tone. Of course at that exact fucking moment we got matched with an Asian guy and my friend was like “omg she just said her dad was yellow..” and then he said “oh that’s racist” and I think recorded me?? Idk how the fuck any of that is racist. btw I don’t talk to either of them anymore cus one was white and the other was Saudi Arabian and they both said n word and are fake woke🥹🥹

So I been with partner for 10 years. Growing up I struggled to get someone, didnt even go to my proms. Well I found someone, we never got married, never had kids, and now we never do anything physically. They dont love me anymore. I tried looking for someone else, no luck. Nobody is even interested in just being friends with benefits. Im 30m, paying everything, no friends to hang out with, and nobody to be intimate with. Was I just dealt a unlucky life? Is this just what I can expect the rest of my life to be?Miserable, drinking alone for tiny moments of happiness, and dreaming of a life having a family. I know Im a fun person to be around, always smiling, easily can chat to anyone, but nobody is interested in doing anything more then just a casual convo. my last birthday I went to dinner alone, and just visited a bunch of places to make it feel like I had something to do, next birthday coming up soon and feels like itll be the same again. Venting here cause I dont have any1 to talk to

Call me lazy if you want but if a job actually spends no time, making sure you have resources and expects you to do everything yourself, despite constant forced joint team work standards being a thing, then why should I care? I don't get paid enough as is.

I want to die so bad. I have no reason to live. My friends leave me out and hate me, my mum says I’m fat, I don’t enjoy doing things I used to love anymore and I can’t do anything right. There is so many things I wish I could change about my self, my weight, my face, my body, my grades, my popularity and so much more. I’m wondering if anyone will miss me if I die.. Im not trying to sound selfish but I want attention, I’m so used to not having attention that I feel awkward when I do.

I’m starting to normalise my friends leaving me out, they always walk ahead of me and I’m stuck behind them. They don’t talk to me either. I’m starting to think I’m a backup friend because they only choose me first or go to me when their main friends aren’t there. I don't like my friends but I have no one else to go to..

My mum keeps telling me to eat less because I’m getting chubby.

I spent 6 years loving someone I thought I would be with forever only to get that dreaded text the text that stated that it wasn't my fault that he left he said we could continue to be friends only for him to never speak to me again only for him to go behind my back and state to my friend that why he left was because I was selfish and made everything about me even though I had to do everything although the only way he would speak to me was if I texted first despite the fact I was willing to change everything about myself and my life to fit his needs while he could bearly do one thing and yet I was selfish

im the same person with the dental ache for the past 3 days, and YO? the cloves seem to be the move. ofc going to the dentist is better but apparently they can't remove teeth or smth when it's still aching. BUT THE CLOVES SEEM TO BE WORKING RLLY GOOD 😭

I hate loving someone I can never have my mind knows they could never love me back yet my heart aches for them to feel the same I hate that in my eyes they are the world it's self while to them I'm just another friend I wish I could make the feelings stop yet my soul continues to yearn for them

I told her "I love you" and she said it back to me... Im still against theses feelings but Im so happy that she said it back.

I’m scared my bf will cheat on me. I feel like he lacks boundaries. He has this friend who he’s really close with, and she’s currently going through a breakup. Her ex and her have joked that my bf is basically in a poly relationship with them because he’s always around them and involved in their relationship. They also made a promise that if they ever broke up, my bf would date her, and my bf has dangled that joke in front of me before. I know they’re probably joking, but it makes me feel really powerless and insecure. Now he’s going to be spending more time with her to help her through the breakup, and I don’t know if I trust him. They’re online friends right now, but they’re meeting in October, and I’m scared about what could happen when they meet in person. I’m scared they could end up doing something romantic or sexual, even though I don’t actually know that they will. I don’t want to stop him from supporting his friend, and I know she’s going through a hard time.

I want to scream. I want to hurt myself. I want to cry. I want to hide. I want to disappear. I want to die. Would anyone miss me if I’m gone..? Probably not they all say I’m a mistake.

i just had a crazy suicidal thought just now.. in the car and had the urge to grab the wheel with one hand and swerve. moms driving btw. usually the one dying in those situations is me so idk why i wanna do that

Not all these autism mums making Robbie Williams' diagnosis all about them... ohh that's not real autism, he has a career and is famous and can speak, I have to watch my son banging his head on the wall How do you know that Robbie Williams doesn't bang his head on walls? I have level 1 autism and I bang my head on walls. Maybe he does too. I mean Sia sang about it... Also maybe the reason your son bangs is head on the wall is because you're pissing him off. Most times I've banged my head on the wall it's because my mum did something to piss me off that she knows pisses me off but chooses to do it anyway