All Rants

i want to see the sunshine after the rain..

I hate that am not doing anything with my life i have my friends in the uk living there life's giving each other update and im just here working and just saving I'm not even going to college anymore

White but not american type of white so Im okay

Every agile, healthy, capable person I see shows the need for my self-hatred at the bottom.

I wish I never met you. I wish you're going to hell. My life would be happy if I see you struggling. I don't care if you're getting depression for that, that's for hurting my feelings.

I feel gross I get these random god awful thoughts of things I don’t want to do but they just keep showing up in my head.

I don’t know Whats wrong with me. One minute I feel fine then for hours I feel like shit. Most days I’m just worrying abt things I have to do or go too or thinking abt killing myself. Then other days I’m completely fine.

You call me bipolar, yet you portray such behaviour. I have never seen an oscillating object like that.

I need the barbarians to wipe my family out, to make wine from our blood and laugh.

I'll have a heart attack if my Snap stories get views, but I'm not sure if anyone's actually watching me in real life. 🥲

Snap pe bhi ye fairy aur honey bear content dikh rahe hai 🙏 Mujhe maar dalo bc can’t be at peace anywhere

guys im scared. i just got my first period 3 months ago. this week my period was 10 days long, ive been bleeding for 7 or 8 days, 2 or 3 days there was no bleeding. but just yesterday it got SO heavy. im talking like staining an overnight pad in like an hour. honestly i think its less, but im trying not to scare my self too much. anyways ive passed like 2-3 coins long somewhat thin clots. Multiple in a day.. and im genuinely scared, i know girls/guys are usually scared when they get theirs and dont know what to expect but this is genuinely abnormal no??? i think what makes my fear worse is that my sister might have endometriosis, and she has really bad cramps/periods sometimes. she literally had to go to the er twice for it. im also scared to look anything else up..

My eyes are so dry I can’t feel anything anymore

I miss everyone so much. I miss my friends. I miss how when something was wrong they could tell instantly. I miss how they noticed the small details. I miss the fact that if my eyes were red from crying and i went downstairs they could tell I've been crying, or how when I kept smiling they could tell something went well for me. I miss when they would encourage me to keep going even when I doubted myself. I miss my teachers I miss how if i needed something they would help me to the best of their abilities. I miss how when I was walking around school and i was quite they could instantly tell that something was wrong with me just because of the silence , they could tell i was tired or something was distracting me just because i was silent. I even miss the teachers that were strict , I miss the fact they actually cared and were strict , it honestly helped me alot. I miss when they would tell me good job and say how proud they are of me. I

If I could give my life for someone with emerald in their veins, my envy would take it all away.

I've been going to this website for a while now and usually the people are very nice. Recently—as in two days ago—I woke up at 1 AM went to my laptop to go there. I got paired up with this guy, the age range said 18-25, we started talking, I vented abt my hypersexuality. Turns out he was also hypersexual, he said some things he could relate to and it was actually fun for a moment. Then he said that one unsettling thing that put me off, "I bet I could make you cry on your first time. I wouldn't stop tho". Then he said things he wanted to "do" to me. He asked me if I was comfortable with talking like this, I said I was fine. He went on about some things I'll never forget.. I kept mentioning that I was 12. He didn't stop there. I did comply, I, regrettably, partly enjoyed it. I pretended to run out of battery and blocked him. But I wanted to go back so bad I was shaking. I feel disgusted that I enjoyed it and complied, I hate that I wanna go back.

I want to walk from the plantation straight into a burning coal pit, magma streaming down my cheeks as tears as I burn to death in the glow.

If someone can help, I don't have any friends and am not sure how to find them any more. I'm in high school, neurotypical, but I honestly feel like I just give off bad vibes as a person. Every time I speak I sound so stupid and people have told me that I'm pretentious and eccentric. I don't have any friends now and feel isolated from society and wish to return to it. If anyone made their way out of isolation how did you do it?

I need to find my better self again but its impossible Im falling apart more and more and it feels like drowning. Everything is getting worse as time passes and i cant focus not even in prayer anymore I feel like nothing is holding me steady anymore

I’m tired of my own existence..