All Rants

I fought my whole life to be a lesbian, it's a core part of who I am. It has been since childhood. Even after coming out as nonbinary, I will always see myself as a lesbian I am engaged to this amazing woman. She makes me happier than I thought I could be. She's trans too, which is great to have someone to relate to The "problem" I have is that she doesn't present feminine, she's very clearly amab. I've had family members tell me they're happy I found the "right man" and friends call me a faker Everywhere we go now, when people see me, they think I'm in a straight relationships. I feel evil for venting about this. It shouldn't matter what anyone else says or does, to me she's the most beautiful woman on earth. I just wish she was more feminine

So we have a mutual friend in our friend group she’s a female and for some reason I’m really jealous or feel some type of way about her like she might find my boyfriend attractive am I just tripping?

Academic stress, parental pressure, school

Sometimes I feel like I just hate men, even though I don't think it's just because of their gender. i've had so much trauma, not personally, but like with other people in my family, who have gone through all of this emotional mess over men cheating or them getting into porn behind their back. And I just feel like no one stays loyal anymore, even my own dad. And I know that he's been watching porn. I have this guy who I'm talking to, but for some reason, I feel like I don't want to pursue a relationship because I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to love somone and then them just turn around and look at porn or something. I don't think I could handle it if that happened to me. And I've just been really depressed about it because I feel like the guy im talking to is the kind of person who would, but at the same time, I don't want to be like this. Like, I want to change. I want to like men.

I don’t want to feel alone anymore. Dying doesn’t even feel like it would help, only further the burden i already put on others. People think im okay because I’m high functioning but I just grit my fucking teeth and burn through everything I have to keep a smile on my face. It’s so hard. I don’t want to feel like this for the rest of my life. What happens when it gets too hard? I wish I could just give up control to someone else and let my mind finally have some peace.

I just read an article about possible food shortages in the UK. I hope that does not happen. Remembering many years ago there were a lot of semirural homes where people were allowed to keep a few chickens for fresh eggs and meat. I wonder if that may become popular again.

Two siblings and an in-law are the worst people I know on Earth and I really don't give a damn about any of them and besides, why do I want to talk to any of you? You're idiots, you're hasbeens and you three are nothing but a bunch of overgrown fudge packing pieces of monkey 💩 ever to walk on this green earth. All of you disgust me and I pray I don't ever want to hear from you again. Today you're not family to me for you three are complete strangers that I don't even know anymore. Farewell, take care and GO F*** YOURSELVES!!!

Ive been feeling so damn overwhelmed lately with responsibility.. Like, my grandoa is aggressive to my grandma for no reason at all, always has been, so im cycling between looking for a job, being a support to her, stressing outbover my own diagnosed mental health issues and finding a way to get her out of this apartment, and ON TOP OF THAT, when I think of her moving out and my grandfather staying alone with my no use brother, I get this immense feeling of guilt as if I owe him to stay there and live with him cause he and grandma raised me even though I need my own space too and I do not know what to do... Like... I want to help because I feel guilty and my brother wont do anything to help around, but I also want and need to leave as well and my grandma does too, she needs peace because as much as I love my grandfather for the memories, he IS controlling to her and she deserves better... I just wish I didnt instinctively put all that responsibility on me all the time...

I hate that I get like this. I didn't respond correctly...you get annoyed...I can tell...and suddenly, I can't talk. Like it feels like my body has made it physically impossible to speak. I try, I really try, but it feels like there's a vice grip on my vocal chords, which makes me more stressed because I know the silence will only make you more upset. I've tried to explain this to you in the past, but you probably don't remember. I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm not trying to be mean, I want to talk...but I can't. I don't know how to fix this part of me, and I hate that it gets me in trouble

Someone that i considered a friend wrote a fanfic shipping me with a real person that she knows i absolutely despise. She has written fanfics shipping real people before, and its always exclusively smut, so I assume the fanfic that involves me and that person i hate is also smut. Its almost as if she doesnt see me as a real person with feelings, but as some kind of character. Or worse, an object. What she did with my image shows what disgusting lengths she will go for her own entertainment. She has also bodyshamed me in the past making fun of my chest and repeatedly saying that the old math teacher has a bigger chest than me. She also invites everyone in my friendgroup to do fun activities, except for me. She makes those plans right in front of my face, and i dont know if she is just apathetic or cruel. She also calls me weird and autistic in order to insult me and she is ableist in general. I want to confront her but its scary...

Im tired of doubting myself over and over agin obsessing over every small mistake anxious about every confrontation (even when its not supposed to be one) I wish i could just control my emotions but to do that i have to be able to trust my intuition but i cant do that because guess what my problem is the very fact that i CANT TRUST MYSELFY at least not on a subconscious level i keep running around in circles worrying and worrying and imagining scenarios thinking of the worst any time anything happens. I m not able to stop and its making things worse for me which is making it even harder to let go of this. Im stuck in a viscious cycle always afraid always scared about how im gonna feel scared and afraid in the future.

Hello! I'm an overthinker If you don't know what that is: It's basically thinking of every possible worst outcome and thinking too hard about little mistakes. I'm also insecure, I hate my body. So, if someone tells me 'You look SO ugly!' I take it rlly personally, and I think about it ever night. I've tried so hard to change my looks but its never good enough. Thanks for reading :)

I was feeding a stray puppy, when a man who lived in the apartment came and when he reached on the first floor he spit pan on me, I don't know I feel like crying, I yelled at him but he had no remorse, I wish he fucking gets mouth cancer can't live peacefully. I fucking hate men

Hi! Uhm, I rlly dont know what to say here. I just want some comfort. i dont want my friends to know I wanna cvt myself. They have bigger problems then me. I take things personally, and I just want to help people, for them to not hate me. I kinda.. think too much about people's opions. thats it, thank you for reading :)

You promised me you will love me forever🫩🫩

I hate no contact 🫩 Why do you have to stop talking to me to get better?! I thought me confessing would make us stronger

I feel stressed because I'm bored at home all the time, just lying down and dont do anything, so tired of thinking bout my future life. I also think I have symptoms of depression because for years I haven't socialized with anyone and I can't do anything for work, I feel useless in this world

I’m still sitting here I feel like a rat in a cage Clawing at the outdoors I want to run out I can’t handle this at 10 AM they’ll probably say I have 20 cavities I am so scared chairs are empty but here I sit at the front of the room like an idiot I want my mom so bad maybe I’m just used to the fancier dentist i keep telling myself if Christina Koch can orbit the moon I can do this but I really don’t think I can I didn’t take my anxiety medicine so I’m like tweaking on nerves there’s also little kids back here by themselves not acting like me but I read some awful reviews but my mom said to do it anyway that she knows what she’s doing but I DONT THINK SHE DOES I miss my old dentist and the one before him I had my own room and they were nice or just got the job done I didn’t have to wait in two separate waiting rooms I feel like my heart is going to jump out and run but my mom texts me and says are you ok NO BECKY IM NOT OKAY I DO NOT WANT TO BE HERE

I’m at the dentist right now and I’m panicking so bad it’s not even funny I’m 17 but I still wanted my mom to come with me but she can’t and I go back and it’s a line of chairs and kids in each one I’m sitting at the front of the room like an idiot in front of the tv this is just not right to me 😩😩😩

i wanna die so bad, im going through so much and everyone in my family ends up making it about themselves. i say im going through depression they say well what abt me. i say im going through ed or self harm or wtv they say what abt me. like i do not give a damn abt u i told you so that you could support me and you just dismiss me and think how can i link this back to me. like shut up, your my mum and my older brother i dont have anyone else in my family im the youngest. i want to just end it and you guys make it abt you. i just want to talk to someone. please just listen and take into consideration what might be good for me