All Rants

I want to fucking kill them all and soak in their blood. They’ll talk to me just as much when they’re lying motionless. They’ll care for me just as much when they’re lying motionless. Fuck them. Fuck them all.

I don’t know if this feeling is a natural platonic feeling or if it’s romantic

I'm so sad that I'm never going to be loved the way I desperately crave to be loved... I'm so sad that it took me 30+ years to figure out what I need and want and now there is no way it can happen to me. There's too much in the way now, too much baggage, too much trauma, too many years... I'm just not a desirable person by any stretch, and it's too late. I wish I knew in my 20s what I know now but it feels like it's too late now and I don't think I'll ever get to experience a love that doesn't feel transactional or forced. It really sucks.

Wish I could re-do my life, or have a second chance at another life after I die. I hate that I finally know what I want out of life but it's too late, I'm not that young anymore and stuck in a situation of my own making, partially from my own ignorance and partially from not knowing myself until now. The thought that I'll never being able to have the life I want before I die is depressing.

I make people hate me from my own bitterness.

Depression and anxiety have ruined my life for the past 2 years, better yet, in the most important academic years of my life. The first, I manage to pull through, the second I barely made it out alive. Now, I am having to retake the year and the shame of letting it get to this point is so vast I cannot think about it too often. The education system is so anxiety inducing and unforgiving in these circumstance and I hate it. A more prominent hatred is one I feel towards myself, one in which I try to ignore everyday. As a kid I was so happy, I would have never imagined it would get to this point. By the end of the summer, if I don't get into a different sixth form, I am afraid it'll have to be the end for me. My future will be ruined.

I don’t like myself as my body feels weird to me like I’m going to get hurt like i did when i was younger my body is not my own so why touch it like you own it my body is not mine I was sexually abused at a very young age and then one of my older ex best friends showed me porn and I couldn’t do anything to stop it I just got addicted to it I began to touch myself and I felt dirty and disgusting so why don’t I stop myself from killing myself before anyone else touchs it

Got the job and start tomorrow. Never been more terrified in my damn life. anxiety and depression are consuming me. i wish i was brave enough to get medications or talk to my friends. nobody takes me seriously. i feel alone and stuck with nothing to help stop my brain from eating me alive. im really hoping tomorrow is okay even though im so worried and scared

My mental health is getting worse and my family is not helping it get better my grandma says she’s helping me but she’s not the way she says she helps is prayers (I’m not religious in any way) she thinks asking god is going to help when I first showed symptoms of mental health issues she thought I was a demon and held me down and prayed over me doing and exorcism thinking I was a demon and then a couple of days ago my aunt came up to me in church (I was forced to go) she told me “you should go up there and get prayed over” I don’t like people touching me I told her no but she said “do you wanna have to keep taking medicine” I got really upset as my family is always using religion as a scapegoat to justify there actions I HATE THEM I HATE THEM

I hate my family i absolutely hate them i asked my grandma (who i live with) to call my school and tell them i needed to skip today’s class as i had a massive headache she told me “why don’t you call them” I told her I cannot without a parent calling them and she said “I did everything for you and you won’t do this one thing” mind you I had already taken some medicine for my headache a few hours ago and she told me “your disappointing me” which is her way of saying I’m disappointing her AND I JUST WANTED TO SLEEP IT OFF

I was playing a card game with my friends this morning at school, and my sister decided to play with us. We were playing Mao, and my sister was the only one who the never played the before. The rest of us weren’t that good and kept making mistakes. I didn’t tell her the rules bc it’s the point of the game. Now, school is over for the day, and my sister is crying to my mom about how unfair it is, how mean I’m being, how I’m excluding her. My mom is taking her side and I’m so mad. How is it unfair for me to play by the rules of the game? Now I’m in trouble for apparently being mean to her and trying to exclude her. I’m so fricking annoyed.

i have an immense anger for everyone and everything, everything eats me alive and i feel like everybody just secretly hates me if i could disappear from this lifetime, i would, every-time i seem to explain myself it just gets worse and worse and nobody truly understands me everyone thinks im trying to make excuses or that im bullshitting, nobody believes me, my life is utterly useless and whats the point of even being here when nobody wants to even listen to me truly for once its like im talking to a brick wall, i hate people, and i hate socializing cause everything goes to shit

My sisters has been stealing my stuff for years like headphones and chargers for example but also weird stuff like socks and even underwear. At my last school she spread rumors about me and I feel like this ruined a lot of my friendships which has been sort of hard on me since I have trouble making friends in the first place as Im diagnosed with GAD. She also says stuff that make me really uncomfortable like saying she’ll khs if I ever die but then the next second call me a fat pig and tell me to kms myself if we ever fight?? Im just tired at this point I don’t know what to do anymore theres worse things i can share but this rant is getting really long, hope y’all are doing well^^

I just really want a hug right now, but don't have anyone to ask, "you're not alone" but I always feel alone

I just checked my email after dreading out and dealing with anxiety about it and my professor didn't accept my work even though I've explained my challenges multiple times and why it's difficult for me to get help. I might fail out of college on my final course and the thought that all of the time, money and effort I spent here would amount to nothing even though I did the work twice...and having to face my parents...it's all just too much, I've had too many breakdowns at just the thought of this, I feel like everything's crashing down on me and I'm hated by life even though I tried to stay hopeful and did what i could manage. First i couldn't believe the email, then I called the crisis line and cried while explaining my situation, I got off the line and I just want today to just be a bad dream. I don't know what to do, I don't know what I did to deserve this, why did I have to come this far only for everything to be taken away. I'm hoping this is a joke and he had a change of heart

my boss is an asshole! i work outside all day but i work for a charity so i have to computer work becasue the charity i work for can only pay me bcasue of money they got from another charity that requires we do bullshit online things to prove to charity N. 2 that we are doing bullshit online work. not to mention my boss sent everyone home an hour and a half early to "work from home" or we could go into the office to do it which NO! like what the actual fuck does she think she's pulling! and i cant even get it done cause she hasnt sent me an email with the bullshit work i have to do! so either i keep bugging my boss and get on her bad side or i lose an hour and a half of pay which is like 30 bucks! and she never shows up its like 5 high school kids the whole day and i'm sick of it! i feel like i wasted my summer or sold it off for money! shit money! i wish i had the guts to quit! i hate this i hate my boss i hate who i work with and I HATE THE STUPID FACEBOOK POST THAT GOT ME HERE!!!!!!

I wish my mom was nicer and understanding but when i try to have her listen im the bad guy so she threatens to put me back in school knowing that school lead me to almost ending it but she doesnt care so when i dont do my homeschool im the person who is in trouble knowing today she was arguing with my grandma today waking me up. But when i tell her im mentally tired she always just thinks im a joke saying my life is perfect by having what i want and getting what i want but she never understands thats not the problem she makes me do my homeschooling for 9 hrs a day and when i ask for a break she just threatens to put me in school! i dont know what to do at this point. Also my grandma still contacts my sexual assaulter and when i ask her about it im being ridiculous about it i wish my family understood im trying my hardest to not relapse but im on a thin line of not doing it.

i just dont know where to start. it feels like i have come to a point where i just dont know what to do. being around these humans is surely taking a toll on my mental health. i dont want to kms, i want to live. i know there's a lot of beautiful things out there, so maybe i just want to run away and start a new life. far away from these humans here. i hate these people. i have really come to a breaking point. i cant take this anymore.

I hope you face karma for what you did to me and I hope that guilt eats you up one day Keep comatosing that Russian bitch fucking Bihari ass Shameless Nachiket Gutter chod Fucking manwhore

I was doing really good fucking asshole Until I met a monster like you