All Rants

Guys I want to be friends with people I find cool but I have all this shame and self doubt whenever I talk to them I just know I’m going to bore them out of their mind I hate being a boring bitch with no personality. I feel like I’m going to ruin everything and everyone’s going to leave me. I’ve been trying to be less avoidant but I always have this pit in my stomach that nothings going to last. I’m not very good at talking and I’m not funny I’m everything I wish I’m not. No one knows just how much I hate myself. Please how do I recover from this I just want to feel normal and have friends :( If anyone has advice pls lmk

i just ranted on here about something serious and I used the wrong category for it omg im so dumb

I have a lot of regrets from when I was a teen, I would say some diabolical shit (slurs, etcetc) it was around other friends who would say the same stuff. It’s funny, because I would never have EVER said anything like that before I met them. I think a lot of it was peer pressure. But I knew better, I should have known better and I still said that stuff for awhile. It haunts me. I changed, I don’t hang with those people anymore; but I feel awful still. I want to go back in time and redo it all. I feel like such an idiot

I have no idea how to feel right now. I want to tell my mother about some of my mental health struggles but im scared to do it. Shes trying to be a better person now but she still scares me sometimes. Im scared to trust her sometimes.

My scars aren't fading. I don't know what to do.

this is more of like idk a funnier rant uhh I don't fucking know it's midnight, im running off of suicidal thoughts and week old water on my dresser so yeah I HATE DONALD TRUMP. I HATE HIM SO MUCH. IM GONNA DRAW HIM AS A FURRY FEMBOY OUT OF PURE SPITE AND RAGE. IM GOING TO PRINT IT OUT AND BURN IT. FUCK HIM. FUCK THE G*VERNM*NT FUCK HOMOPHOBIA FUCK RACISM FUCK ABLEISM FUCK BIGOTRY

IM GETTING SO TRIGGERED.. ITS SO FUCKING TEMPTING TO DO SH, MY LIFE IS GETTING RUINED. I HATE MY LIFE..

What's a friendship or relationship that feels one-sided but you don't know how to fix it?

I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH. FUCK YOU. YOU CAN SUCK THE FARTS OUT OF MY ASS FOR ALL I CARE FUCK YOU BITCH!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!

I feel sooo stupid and so sad at the same time..idek buut when I confessed to this guy(hes superrr cute too and has a really funny perosnality and we mesh together well) so when I confessed to him he was like oh that was random and I had one of my other friends say ohh it was a dare/wrong send and I said it to him and he was like ohh I was glad youre joking because I alr have someone I liked..I think hes been leaving my messages on seen the last (reel) but in that one he was soo quick and he was like on and on about his date plans..Like ik i shouldn't have expected anything(and i didnt) but it also made me kinda pissed cause I ghosted like 2 guys for him and then he was like on and on abt his stuff with the other girl)..I literally immediately restricted him,deleted all chats try to erase him from socials(obvi I cant just block bcs its gonna be obvious that I did like him) I wanna be like move on and get over with it but I cant i try so hard but I keep thinking..fuck

SENSITIVE SELF HARM WARNING!!! I cut my wrist for the first time in god knows how long and it felt so gooddd my parents found out last october but Idc I found new ways to hide my scars I am very happy!!! Yippeee!!!! Im actually gonna fucking kms

For the gluttony of wanting someone whom to call a friend.

I can't hate a captor, the ones who enthrall, when they don't give a fuck about me. It's short-sighted to hate those people merely by them acting on their nature where I was too weak or ascetic. I still feel its weight pushing down upon me, I still feel lonely as a caged bird.

I HATE self isolating I HATE HATE HATE IT. I LOVE FRIENDS SO MUCH BUT I DONT DESERVE THEM SO I GHOST THEM BUT I TEXT THEM AGAIN BECAUSE I FEEL BAD IDK WHY THEY FORGIVE ME IM SORRY K ILYSM

i seriously want to kill myself. i’m lying to quite literally everyone in my life because i feel like i’ll be so looked down upon if i ever stop lying. i’ve fucked up so hard, i don’t go anywhere, i don’t do anything, i’m actively unemployed and i don’t even go to school anymore. i probably am depressed but i can’t even check that out and at the end of the day, all i’ll ever be is a failure who doesn’t amount to shit

I feel sad angry or numb all the time. I’m ether yelling at someone or stareing at a wall crying. Or thinking abt how I’m going to mess up when I have to leave my house. I thought it was bad a few months ago but I’d kill to be back in that time. It just keeps geting worse and worse and I don’t know how much longer I can last.

not really a vent but here's some of my personal favorite bawling your eyes out songs for whoever needs em ig sooo take care of yourself bros broettes and non bronaries and other bros Class of 2013 (Audiotree version)-Mitski Hitogawari-Kikuohana I Bet On Losing Dogs-Mitski Shame -Mitski (last Mitski song I SWEAR) Karma Waits- Inanimate Insanity Karma- ALNST Wet-Dazey and the Scouts I Deserve to Bleed-Sushi Soucy I Still Love You- DDLC OST Ok that's all I just exposed most of my interests love yall PLATONICALLY. BE NICE TO YOURSELF. NOW!!!1!!111

i don’t have a relationship with my birth family, but have found great comfort and friendship with my in laws. A family connection I’ve always yearned to have. I’ve loved having actual brothers! Ones I can joke with and be equals! However, my sister in law is very cruel to my husband. Usually blatantly ignoring him and making snide comments. Today we were gaming, and she made a snide remark about how “if we bothered to talk to our niece” and then left the call. When we’ve tried, we have tried calling, tried texting. Everything is either declined or ghosted. I mumbled “passive aggressive much?” I think I upset my brother in law. I recognize, inside thoughts should stay inside. It’s not my place. Him and his sister have a close relationship, and I believe I made him mad. He left the call. I texted goodnight and apologized for any frustration my behavior caused. And was left on read I have this pit in my gut, and I think I fucked up the one change of family I’ve got. It’s hard

I'm low key going to fail in life but its okay because I'm going to try my best, so I'll get somewhere at least. Reach for the moon, because even if you fall short, you'll still be up there with the stars.

I hate my schedule. Now that school has started I have to wake up at 5:30 and go to school until 3:10pm. When I finials change into my home clothes another 10 minutes have passed. Then I have to go get some food because I'm in recovery for an ed. And after that at 5pm I have group therapy until 8pm and I still have to eat dinner and get ready for sleep. But because I feel like I don't have any time because 30 minutes goes to eating that snack and getting home I stay up until 1am and it goes on like that. I don't even have time to eat and that therapy is supposed to help me eat, but how am I even supposed to do anything if I don't have time. I don't evne have tike to eat breakfast or lunch. So I started losing weight again, and because it's already low, if it gets lower I will have to go back to a residential again to weight restore. I'm so stressed