All Rants

What do you do when you can’t even see your skin anymore, when your arms tingle and head starts to spin from lack of blood. Instead of crying I grab a blade because I was taught women must not be emotional. Though most think the same about men I used to get punished for crying as a child, now when I do cry as a teen I punish myself by cutting and cutting and cutting until I can’t even stand up from my head pounding.

Just made a vent abt leaving life off a bridge. Thanks to the dude who responded. Can’t respond to a note but yea I’m 13 haha, gotta wait to get a car at least. Then drive off it lol. Anyways thanks dude, already left the bridge and headed home. Just miles to walk lmao.

I live with one of my sisters and it is mentally taxing. I’ve always tried my best to be a good sister and yet she despises me. Just being around her I can feel her hatred towards me and almost like she sucks the energy from my body. We have other siblings but she has no problem with them or even if they tell her off she doesn’t get too bothered but if I say anything or even try to defend myself she’ll start a fight and say some really cruel things and make up lies. She’s even told me I should kill myself before and I would never tell that to anyone especially not my own sister. She’s constantly mumbling under her breath and saying things that are not true. And the worst thing is that she later act like nothing happened and wants to go out or watch tv together. I’m not one to hold a grudge but her attitude towards me is not something that I can overlook.

I keep having the same dream, it's terrifying. I'm in my partners room when something triggers a panic attack for me and I start pulling my hair and clawing at my throat cuz I can't breath. My partner tries to help but I just can't hear her at all anymore. Then I started hitting myself I wack my head then punch my thighs over and over and over again until my partner puts their hand in the way, I hurt her, I grab her hand and ask if she's ok and if it hurts, all while still not breathing well, then the dream stops. I don't know what it means or if it means anything at all.

My limbs burn, my arms itch, they’re still sticky and red from the tears I couldn’t cry

It feels like I’ve been through hell and back, started my life over countless times and lost the most important loved ones in my life.. that isn’t the problem I’m facing right now, lost my job went back to my old job as I need income to support my family and my 4 year old son. I’m having problems with my finance who thinks social media is more important then her relationship, go figure majority of her followers are men who msg and leave comments daily.. if I say something I’m wrong, if I have standards of respect for myself, it’s self care to her.. if there’s something I don’t like she goes cold and dismisses me like I walked in and out of her life.. no fight to keep me at all.. I feel like my whole life I’ve come second. I don’t wanto be the angry and combative person I was growing up. I wanto be happy, I deserve love, I deserve to come home and someone is happy I made it through the day. Someone to tell me everything okay and they are proud of me.. just wanto feel safe..

Resentment with boyfriend that pressured me into talking again and now I’m stuck in a sexless relationship

Has anyone else ever been around a person that made you physically ill, just by being around them?

My mother, she piles everything up onto me as if I’m just a basket there for trash. Anything she needs she gets with just bringing up my mistakes or the food in front of me and I think I’m just done.

I feel like whenever I talk to someone, I lose conversation ideas really fast and we end up sitting there in silence because theres nothing to talk about. Sometimes I wonder if anyone will love me because of my incapability of making conversations.

I’m starving, starving because anytime I eat I’m selfish.

What if I jumped? There’s a bridge right there, I’m just across the road. My body already burns so bad it would be better off, right? My mother never says she’s proud. My father left me for drugs along with all 7 abusive step dads. If they were good enough to stay longer than my father then how bad is he the one who made me?

I hate my sister so much its not even like how siblings hate eachother because deep down you know you love them but with her I just hate her, since she's the youngest she uses that and always acts like some clueless bitch, she knows our mom doesn't understand ai shit so she does all of her homework with it and ive told mom before but she doesn't understand how this works she thinks she's learning from it, but you know what thats even better she'll get herself even dumber than she is now and maybe will gtfo my face for once

I ended up crying because I was afraid to enter a room. I feel pathetic for it as I knew this was gonna happen yet I still cried. I ended up hiding away where others had to find me and make me go in that room, I was still scared and couldn't open the door. When I did I felt so embarrassed with myself. It wasn't even that bad but I made it this big thing and cried for no reason. I have terrible anxiety and tend to overthink, so this happens a lot but my mood quickly changes to shame when I realize I'm being sensitive. This is lowkey the reason why people treat me like a child since all I do is cry like one.

I’m burns, it burns so bad. All my limbs are sticky all my flesh feels icky. I’m sore and cut so deep it’s bruised. Though my own mother has noticed the condition of my skin, of me slowly degrading she never talks about it at all, even when my own blood stains the walls. How bad can one’s daughter be for her own mother to be okay surrounded in her tears and blood and still be comfortable? ……………………

im really scared about school. and ik that sounds selfish and immature, but i really am. it’s not even about the grades or assignments or anything, but the people. im part of the queer community (demi-girl neptunic/lesbian) but ive been going to the same catholic school district for most of my life. and from what ive experienced already, even quiet homophobia in elementary school, im worried about this year. people in past years didn’t do much; they’d go “oh you’re gay? ewwwwww!” and shit like that. but im going to a bigger school this year, and the kids have been exposed to more disrespectful content, and im scared. my older brother (trans man) has talked openly about being called homophobic slurs, but one big thing i noticed was that people only started calling him those things when he entered the grade i will be this year. maybe im being dramatic and overthinking things, but i truly am worried

I don’t get why ppl say sry for self harming i hate myself to the fcking bone. And if I want to then I will. There’s no oh my goshhhhhh I’m literally gonnnnaaaa do it like duuude. It’s either your PO at yourself and it’s too early to actually leave life just yet so you remind yourself you could never love anyone like yourself or you’re just desperate for attention.

I think it got taken down but I’ll say it again I want a bf/gf who grapes me when their mad

I will gouge ur eyes out skin u alive shove a hot metal rod down ur throat and reap your soul

You say "Ban AI" but you use AI chatbots and completely ignore your boyfriend. You say "Fuck Racism" but you talked for hours about how you'd bully, harrass, and even admitted to beating a person of color because they looked wrong. You even mock people using an Indian accent. You say "I support all love" but when your friend came out as lesbian you said you felt very uncomfortable around her because you thought you'd "Get r---ed" by her when shes the sweetest girl I've known. You are such a disappointment as a sister that I can't wait to feed you a brownie with shit tons of peanut butter in it while everyone is at school. I'll take away all your epipens. You are a living contradiction and the most white person I've ever known. You wont even let our parents foster some kids because "you're too scared they'll r--- you" when most of the time it's children. All roads lead to Rome. But your road leads to a room filled with people you hate.