Entry 2: I still can’t seem to sleep. But I can try though. My day was okay today. I had tuna for breakfast and a cup of milk. Not a good combination. I had a small bowl of cereal for lunch and two hotdogs for dinner. I wanted to make bbq grilled chicken but I procrastinated for too long. I played my game for a very long time today. From 6 PM to 1 AM. I had fun though so it’s fine. I hear something weird. It sounds like sawing. It’s keeping me up. I don’t know where it’s coming from. I know it’s not a mouse because that’s not how mice bite things. Very weird. I just listed for a moment and it sounds just like sawing. It’s 3 AM. This is very strange. I’ll glance outside because this sound is bothering me. I found the problem, the cat’s water fountain needed refilled and the fountain part was making a weird noise as it tried to suck up the water. I thought she didn’t use the water fountain. She’s weird and prefers toilet water even though there’s multiple water bowls in the house.
Recent Rants
I woke up at 6am on my first day off of work to go fishing. My cat (who is the light of my life, my best friend) ate one of my adhd pills at 7am. I had to wake my mom up, we took him to the vet for an emergency appointment. He was ‘treated’ and monitored all day. The bill came out to around 700$. They don’t do overnight care so I am watching and monitoring him now. They tried to induce vomiting but he didn’t puke it up, basically charged us with that much just to make sure his vitals are fine. Which I appreciate don’t get me wrong, but 700$? My cat was pacing, restless, drooling when we brought him home. He’s been in my room, litter box, dark space, ac, calm environment, etc. I’m so fucking worried for him though and he seems to be improving but I’m not a vet I don’t know. I’m feeling so stupid and irresponsable. I’d left the pill on my bed to grab a glass of water, wasn’t gone not 15 seconds before he ate it. I just feel so guilty my cat is suffering and my parents are paying for it
I hate being emotionally constipated (?) I don’t know if that’s the word I want to use but our whole family is not good with expressing emotions and don’t know how to comfort people. My brother has attempted several times and our parents truly don’t know how to comfort him but instead calls him crazy and thinks that’s going to help him. I’ve tried my best to comfort him but I sound so choppy and awkward I don’t think I come across caring enough
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im so lonely. i have friends and parents. but im not close with them. not the kind of close where you can call them anytime to ask for advice or talk about problems. i realized its always been this way. ive never had someone my age to be close with. i dont have siblings or cousins that live near me. i only ever had friends that i would see at school. never really at my house or theirs. and i think covid ruined me. completely stunted my developing social skills. my anxiety is so bad i cant even get a job or learn to drive or talk to my therapist about any of this. i ruined my high school years. i almost failed every class and never went to a single party or did a single club. im such a loser. if i cant even get out of bed i cant see my life going very far. and i feel so bad for my mom. she tries so hard to comfort and help me but i just cant communicate with her. whenever she tries to get me to talk its like the words wont come out of my mouth. im the worlds worst daughter. im sorry
I cant wait for all the people using AI chat bots to realize that they're also apart of the cause. Get a life, lol. Get mad at this, idc. And I saw one person genuinely post online with them bawling and crying their eyes out that a Gojo bot they talked to a lot raped them.... I can feel the shame from most of you AI chatbot users. That was one person, and probably a few more did too. To those TINY few who say they got raped by the AI chatbot... I believe you write the story, no? I've never really used them but my girlfriend does, but she makes me read the bots she talks to. If you truly got raped IRL, I give you my biggest condolences but you need to not set the direction of the AI chatbot to rape. You can change the reply, no? Plus, character AI has NSFW restrictions..
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Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
Recently I got broken up with I loved this girl so much and she loved me back so much we woudl always be caring and match eachothers energy and then during the summer she ended things without showing much signs looking back she ignored me for days on end but my paranoia made me think I was tripping and being insecure but no I ended up seeihn a text form her cousin saying she wants to end things and when I text her later she leaves me on seen and then I text her again this time she replied but she kidna came off a little rude which didn’t make she’s thsi is the same girl that wanted to marry my I remember getting her a promise thing to she loved it ssn then finally late one night she told me she said good luck being single and heo she doesn’t fuck with people who do weird shit and I don’t know what she could be referring to so I’m currently still confused to what I did and now that I’m back in school I see her every day and I’m reminded of how I lost someone dear to my heart
There's this girl in my cheer, anytime I help her with a stunt she always talks about what I'm doing wrong and never tells me what she needs from me instead. Like just tell me what you want! Now I have a class with her and sit right next to her and it actually makes me want to leave the class but I begged my counselor to put me in the class. She hasn't even done anything I'm just getting the bad vibe from her. All of my friends are at a completely different table and didn't think to save a seat for me and now I just hate it. School only just started too, I want to not hate her but she always gives me a "I don't like you." vibe, and I haven't even done anything to her.
I’ve jsut been really depressed and I’ve been going through a bad break up and I cut out a friend form my life
i feel pressured rn. i plan on taking myself tonight but idk if im ready. i genuinely don't know what to do and my friends and family can't do anything to help me. a simple "encouraging words" won't help me get through. i don't wanna live anymore, pls. everything seems fucked up
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
growing up surrounded by people money conscious made me a tightwad 😭 i mean, it's just that i keep hearing conversations about bills, food, and money it's just difficult to think about "wants" without having to ask "Is this okay (to buy)?" or "Are you sure?" like it's in my system to say those words every time I "think I'm allowed" to buy what I want. I always "save up" chances (getting a high grade/graduation) too like they're coupons and always reserve the things I really want that are kinda expensive (or need if urgent) on Christmas or birthdays. I can't just ask on a random day "I want this" it's gotta be something I earned or else I wouldn't be at peace. I also just never buy anything expensive in the canteen. I don't even eat during recess and lunch. In the off chance I do, it's very cheap meals. My wallet is always just filled with my previous allowance in case they need to take something from it to pay smth important yk. Idk kinda makes me wish I was a rich kid :/
This is probably the most dumbest and most chronically online rant that might be on here... but my partner will get me into fandoms that are new to me such as Alien Stage, Cookie Run and a few others. Since I love my partner sm of course I want to get into whatever they tell me to. I never claim to be a big fan of the things they introduce me to, but when I see posts of the fandoms I make sure to send it to them. But if I forget ONE piece of information they get super mean to me and start calling me a larper/poser? It's not like I'm lying about not knowing certain things when they ask me too, I'll literally tell them "no I don't know about this" when they ask, idk it just hurts bc its like, I'm getting into these things for you and being mean to me like that and having some type of ego because you know more than me is really discouraging and makes me want to stick with the fandoms I'm used to...LMAO idk I feel stupid writing this.
This isnt a rant but Goodnight my rantram family 👋🌙 I don't have anyone to say goodnight or good morning to so I hope you all don't mind me interrupting the vent feed to say something so simple.
I feel like I am failing as a boyfriend. I have always had struggles making a move because as a kid a lot of what I did made people go straight to anger and I don’t want that again. She always says how she wants me to just be confident but I always remember the anger others felt when I was confident. I love her and I wanna fix this. I feel more comfortable around her than my own family yet I feel like she thinks I’m being mean and I’m not a good boyfriend. I always think she is wanting to leave. I fear she actually wants to leave because she is everything I ever wanted, but the things I do I fear make her think I don’t love her. Also to add on I struggle with Alexithymia and I really really can’t talk about how I feel. And I feel my inability to talk to her about myself is making her not comfortable around me. She might think I’m hiding something or I don’t trust her. I trust her with everything. I love her.
Feeling the same?
Need to rant? Let it out. Anonymous.
Meh, I think at this point I'm always gonna be suicidal and depressed until the day I do snap and kill myself. I've been on a "healing journey" for years now and still no signs of going back to the mental health I had before I hit puberty. My life has been ruined since my teen years and I wish I would've cherished my childhood more instead of coast through it. At least those were days where I could say I was truly happy.
How you going to cry and complain about something you’re in the wrong about and then go online and get a made up answer by AI
If employers don't wanna hire autistic people, they can't complain when we stay unemployed and start claiming benefits.
I wish I was normal and just naturally did everything right according to society like everyone else. ☹️