All Rants

constantly being shouted at for the smallest things or hating home and school at school it was always u look like a boy and I thought u were trans when I first saw u as if that didn’t hurt and when they first mentioned my teeth that hurt asw and I remember tying my tights around my neck to try to kill myself knowing I wouldn’t have the willpower to do it ahaha I still laugh at how pathetic I am to this day and then yr 8 came and people constantly avoided me I don’t even know what I did i remember that time in drama when I got told I should play the dad bc I look like it and when I wore a skirt for the first time and she told me to put back trousers on bc I’m a boy and honestly all little innocent me could do was shake my head and laugh but nothing was ever funny to me I thought abt ending it daily I remember crying one time in history bit embarrassing tbh but it’s wtv I just hate it all and when ppl would get offended for getting told they look like me so hey thanks a lot

Entry 3: Someday soon I’ll go missing and nobody will find me. I’ll make sure of it. I don’t want to be found.

I sat on his bed and my own body wouldn’t let me take off my clothes and then he said are u insecure or something so i did it and Yh and then after that I cried and tried to selfharm and the thing is I wasn’t suicidal I just wanted more attention for whatever reason and we kept doing it till we got caught and blah blah blah not important ahhahahah this is when insecurity is the highest I mean I was in Jamaica my nans house to be exact and we were calling and I was wondering whether to break up with him or not and I was crying and he thought saying these exact words would make me feel better I mean u look good maybe it’s just ur lips are too big and u be kinda flat u have tits but ahh is kinda debatable and man I can’t even express how deeply sad I was I mean my heart dropped and I think from then I began to see people and everyone in a whole new light even myself u don’t know how many clothes I layered just to look thick and you don’t know how many girls I stared at comparing myself to

I am falling in luv with my friend . I'm scared to tell her bcz we both want gfs but idk what to do. any tips/help?

for anyone reading this manifesting is real btw, even better if ur spiritually gifted like me. I’ve manifested other things before but like I remember a couple months ago I wanted to go swimming and I wanted a vape so I manifested it for fun, and yk it actually came true… swimming wasn’t the big of a deal but we couldn’t at the time so yay, but like the vape was pure luck… anyway I’m manifesting more things to come to me hip hip hooray

I don't know how to be myself online anymore. I worry constantly about how I am going to be perceived. It's supposed to be a good thing to not share so much but I think it's becoming an obsessive fear.

Man I'm so fucking pissed, mosquitoes have been targeting me lately & I've tried every trick in the book to stop it. It won't. I might as well js fucking relapse to stop the itching 💔💔💔 i mean, I'm already scratching aren't I? Might as well go all the way or smth

this isn't really important but i swear every interaction i have ends in nothing. whenever i try to make friends or have a conversation with someone i know they literally don't reply anymore, even when they start a conversation and not me. i'm far from being a social person and whenever i try to change that, it doesn't even go well. hell, even an art teacher ghosted me! he never replied back, and we were just discussing about when the next class could be. and before anyone asks, no, i'm not a weird person being a weirdo and acting like a victim here, i'm talking about everyday stuff/small talks! i'm quite the hermit and such situations make me want to hide even more.

I kinda forgot you can just lie for no reason like I could tell u guys on here I shoved a candy cane up my ass then ate it after and you wouldn’t know if that was truth or not

"The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm afraid of losing you" SON😓😓😓 Your attempt literally failed—that's why you're here, stop spouting bs😭😭😭 shi so infuriating i just wanna race the mf to the grave, SYBAU💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

I don't wanna get better, but for the sake of my loved ones, i will. I'm generally an unserious person, but I don't actively seek to disturb other people's businesses for that matter. My friends are getting worried with how reckless I've been with my safety, i hate seeing those pitiful expressions on their faces

I'm rlly tired of my friend R now I love her she's a great amazing person but basically she and me are both in a really bad mental state RN like were both struggling she reliezed she wanted to focus on herself and stop helping others and I said that's ok but now I'm in that state that she's in and I want to work on myself and stop helping others but I'm scared of stop helping her

Anxiety attacks are the worst.

oml bro im in middle school but we had a party and my bf was teaching me how to play squash bc yea he plays squash i dont and his friends and my friends and 3 TEACHERS were watching us and fahh bro i was so pissed i was like overwhelmed i personally dont like being in the spotlight and they were all cheering and yelling and i was not taking ts anymore like after i left i was like abt to cry

honestly the only reason people don’t support Melanie Martinez anymore is because she stopped releasing crybaby type music and started talking about dystopian issues no other artist talks about

i just saw my ex. i don’t even like him, but i have this need of him thinking i'm perfect. and i was definitely not perfect on my way to the store. no makeup, no pretty clothes, no pretty hair. and now i don’t know what to feel.

I want to disown my family...I know they are decently good people but I can't deal with the dumb shit they do and all the stuff they did to me in the past. I cant

when me and my brother were younger (we are three years apart) he found it funny to flash me after he showered and shake his dick at me, typically he was a few feet from (liek more than 6 or so) but he would also get in front of my face and shake it in my face. my parents didn't do anything to stop him saying 'he was just being a boy' and now he wants to be a good brother for me and be nice to me...even though he shook his dick in front of my face till he was a senior in high school. and I fucking hate him for it. I really do, but he is family and I feel obligated to be nice to him even though I don't forgive me.

I think when I was a younger I was SA'd but i'm not sure, I mean like I have huge gaps in my childhood memories, I disassociate, I hate being touched, sometimes I feel like I'm being touched all over when I'm not actually being touched and I feel like feel memories of something like that happening to me. I know it sounds stupid as hell, but I can't ask my family because it would make me sound crazy.

I think I might have been SA'd when I was a kid, I know it sounds weird t not know but seriously..an old therapist of mine asked me if I was because she was concerned about how I describe my despise of touch as 'it feels really bad and uncomfortable' and I just said 'I don't know'..because either don't, I mean I don't see,ber almost years of my life because I have memory gaps. I mean I dread the answer but also I dread not knowing oy