All Rants

OMG this is a continuation of rant somewhere here BUT I JUST REALIZED MY FRIEND HAS BOTH ANXIOUS AND AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT ISSUES??? IDK BUT THE PATTERN IS REALLY SHOVING IT TO MY FACE. LIKE SHE ANNOYED ME SO MANY TIMES THAT I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM HER AND SHE’LL BE SAD ABOUT IT BUT WHEN I NEED HER, SHE SHUT ME OFF BCOS SHE DOESN’T HAVE THE “MENTAL CAPACITY”???? dawg she even said corny shi like “tch maybe i’m a changed person, you don’t know me after all” genuine who tf would say that like ok deku 🥀 sorry for yelling in text CUZ I NEVER HAVE A FRIEND WHOS LIKE THIS AT ALL AND I’M GENUINELY GOING INSANE BCOS OF HER

The orange guy in charge must die…

This woman at work is driving me crazy in a good way. So attractive!

I've been dating this guy and we probably rushed into our relationship. Today he asked to walk with me and I joined him. Turns out he wanted to break up with me or take a pause. He said he still likes me but I deserve better and I need someone who can give me what I deserve which he can't do apparently. He said he had unfinished business which confuses me because we'd been dating for more than a month and we were really happy together yesterday. I told him this morning that one of my fav artists released a deluxe version of an album and he said that he would listen to it. This morning I messaged him telling him that I felt really sad and he comforted me a bit over it. Later he told me after he listened to one of the songs it made him think about our relationship and want to break up. I'm just so confused now and it really hurts. I won't even be able to see him for the next three days.

I have no friends. I know people with small amounts of friends say that all the time but I genuinely have not a single friend, unless you count my boyfriend that’s busy on his game talking to his friends 95% of the time. I don’t even have a problem with him, I’m just so sad that I don’t have my own people as well. He is the only person I speak to other then my parents occasionally since I’m an only child, I spend all of my days alone unless I travel an hour on the train to see my boyfriend or I get lucky and he comes to me. I just want my own friends to hang out with I want people to talk to I have to wait many hours, sometimes a whole day, for a reply from my boyfriend and I’m usually just left in my room by myself. Because college takes up most of my time I don’t currently have a job other than art commissions and I only get commissioned like once a month. I just wish I had some friends to talk to or hang with to distract me.

What is his problem giving me the silent treatment fuck it ahhhhhhh..like I messaged my bro saying "eww 🤢" and "bro why so emotional "when I sent photos of me drinking with my buddies and he said ahh my sis grew up after 10 ten years ur husband will play with ur tities so I send that message then he just said talking to feels disgusting and hasn't talked like for 2 days

Why are some people mean? why do they hurt others? "people are a reflection of themselves". So? is that my problem? does that justify your actions? Do you really feel the need to inflict pain upon someone who is already suffering just so you could feel better about yourself? Huh? "I have a troubled past" "i am traumatized" "i grew up in poverty" "i grew up with neglectful parents" there can never be a reason nor an excuse to hurt those in similar situations as you and put them below you so could feel better about yourself. It doesn't make you any better, it just shows how crooked you are.

I’ve already excepted that she used me, my home, my food, my drugs, my alchohol. I finally quit drinking and now I keep relapsing. I will never be able to except that I won’t know what was real, if she ment what she said at least once if she was really attracted or disgusted by me. I never had anyone else that felt the same, that felt so real yet it wasn’t, she lied to other guys abt me to get them to fuck her. I just wish I knew there was any moment any conversation any time staring eye to eye that it ment something not just to me but to her

Money, fuck why am I so bad with it. I am in such a financial hole right now and it's because I make poor financial decisions. My husband gave me a bunch of money this month and i got a bonus but it's already all gone on bills. Disappeared into the ether. I'm really disappointed in myself for being such an idiot with money. I just make bad decisions after bad decisions. It hurts you know. I'm in my late 30s and I still don't have my shit together. I'm not an addict, I don't drink, gamble etc I don't go out partying. I'm just an idiot who shoves stuff on credit cards and PayPal etc just small things but they really add up in the background. I clear the balance most months but this month I couldn't and I'm just so annoyed with myself.

Already gave an ultimatum shouldn’t have to, been almost 5 years and every time I talk marriage he says it’s because I’m still “too immature” and he doesn’t know if he wants a permanent with someone who is immature. I am unemployed, mainly because I am slightly disabled, working on myself, I’m in the healing process. we live with my mother who puts a roof over me, I put a roof over him letting him stay in my house. He says I don’t do anything for him yet I drive him to work 1 hour there 1 hour back, sometimes he gets rides but I still have to wake to his schedule, I do all the shopping and make sure we have food, I don’t do laundry he does it on his days off and I make sure to keep the house clean. I don’t see my fault here.. I just want someone who I can marry, have a house with, and have little ones.. I’m halfway through 23 seeing old friends have a life I wish I could have. He won’t let us move out due to the state of the country right now but I feel like that’s not a good excuse..

This is kind of a shitty week. It was my birthday Sunday, and my parents kind of forgot a little, but then remembered, and a lot of friends didn't remember either. Sometimes I feel fucking invisible to people, like I mean nothing, and I'm just a backup or the fat friend there for them to take their emotions out on. Speaking of which, my body dysphoria is getting so fucking bad, and I hate my body, and I'm genuinely trying to become anorexic because why am I so fat? Along with one of my only friends at my new school ditched me to hang out with some other people because she wants to make her way into the theater department, and she just never tries to include me or help me make friends or fit in; she's kind of a shitty friend. no one really talks to me at my new school, liam does, though. hes super nice and i cant tell if i like him or not because hes religious and i already have enough trauma, not to mention that shitty friend is his stepsister.

Ever since your Mom died you have become a raging c u next Tuesday. I understand you're in pain and that you are going through something very sad and tragic but, that doesn't mean you can be a jerk to me. You showed your true colors to today when I said my mental health was bad and you simply stated "well my health is much worse. I have a funeral to plan." I don't know if there is any coming back from this.

I’m (new) Hellenic polytheist and I worship aphrodite, and I have an altar of her in my room. it’s been 5 months since I’ve prayed to her or made an offering, I feel so bad for not doing anything but I’m so burnt out. I see people saying that they feel refreshed or happy after they pray to their deity or god(dess) but I just feel disgusted and uncomfortable about myself after I pray to her. dont me wrong-I love Aphrodite. She’s so beautiful and sweet but I get this uncomfortable feeling about myself that I’m doing “too much” I don’t know how to explain it but I feel so weird praying to her.

okay so basically i’m in love with a guy. i have been for almost 2 years now. at first it was really just attraction- but then i got to know him. and he’s so kind and funny- he stands up for what he believes in. we have all the same prioritys in life and everytime i look at him my heart feels like it’s stuck in my throat moving 100 km/h. we had a good relationship as friends for a while- but then there was a really nastly rumour about us this year and people thought i started it- so that kinda threw it down the drain. anyways now in our new school (the one we shifted to together a year ago to) he likes this new girl who’s head of stuco, super pretty, smart and both of them love debate and muns. so they did a couple together and won a harvard debate and went to dubai mun and both won best del. she’s basically everything i want to be. and he really likes her. but i’m really in love with this guy. i love the way his eyes have this mischevious glint and how passionate he is. idkwtd.

I hate my mother so much , I'm not even gonna lie anymore , I'll be happy is she dies . She keep rubbing her paranoia onto me , doesn't let me do anything , saying the world is bad so I can't go outside and then compare me with other girls who go outside and achieve big saying they are so brave courageous and what not . But I can't even step out to the front yard without her yelling at me for being "outside". She's horrible . Then she says, "What am I not letting you do ? You have everything and still complain." What tf is she talking about? I have nothing . Nothing to my name . I don't even know the address of the house we are living in , that's how she is isolating me from the world . I'm already depressed as it is and now she says is I don't get a job in 6 months she will marry me off and "get rid of me". She thinks she is doing something noble by doing that . I don't want to be controlled by someone my whole life. I might just kill myself If I don't get a job , it's much better .

i have a tight knit friend group i have been with since childhood which is 2016 and i added a old classmate of mine which i kinda regret because today i planned to play horror with 3 of my friends and she kinda joined it but i just feel annoyed.

My father is so dumb I have to have dental work done because I just got my braces off so there’s a few cavities and I need a cleaning but no dentists takes my insurance so I had to use my moms because I’m on it he has to pay half of everything and anything until I graduate or turn 18 I’m trying to explain to him what’s due today and if he doesn’t want to pay after I’m 18 all that money will be due ON MY BIRTHDAY BUT IF HE WANTS TO PAY AFTERWARDS TO LET ME KNOW DO MY MOM CAN SCHEDULE IT FURTHER OUT AND HE KEEPS SAYING THE SAME THINGS OVER AND IVER IVE HAD TO EXPLAIN THE SAME THING 3 times I’m about to cry I am sooooo frustrated

this is following my previous post 1910- but yes ive wanted to marry him, in life all i know is him, he is my rock, my protection... so why does he act like this? why is it that everything i do is wrong? why do i always feel like i am not enough. i have no friends, all the family i have is my mother who i cant tell anything to because i refuse to take advice from someone who has been divorced 3 times, and doesnt know what a love life looks like, her answer to everything is to just leave him even though the things ive told her before werent even that deep. i literally have to vent to ai and random sites like this in hope that i feel better at some point. life keeps getting worse and worse its like theres nothing that makes it better. i have no motivation for anything, ive lost 45 pounds and even though i say it all the time no one seems to care to the point i dont even care anymore and i gained 5 of it back due to depression and lack of help i am just completely alone

my mind is kinda jumbled at the moment but there is a lot that i want to say. my boyfriend of almost 5 years, called me abusive, just because i told him to make sure he didnt forget anything in the car after i picked him up from work since i was tired and didnt want to go back out to get it for him. i acted sad and i basically ignored him and now all the sudden he thinks i need to give him an apology? for what? he said i belittled him and insulted him? how? i didnt say anything that even would come off close to being any of the things he said i did. SO now since i wont apologize he took his 3 days off and is now going into work and 2 of those days are 16 hour shifts which im pretty sure is so he doesnt have to be around me. this is so out of character for him its so weird its like im dating someone i dont even know anymore. he said he will keep working everyday til i apologize to him and then he will start to act like he loves me again like what??? i wanted to marry him but idk now..

i hate that i know i use to be horrible person well in terms i still am i just hide it better now i know that no matter what i try and say or how much i try and make up for it ill always have the guilt of what i’ve said to people and i know i only said it because i was either hurting or they wouldn’t leave me alone which still isn’t a valid excuse to what i’ve said i just wish that i was normal and i didn’t feel like this all the time i constantly fantasize about kms infront of everyone wether it’s at school or the store or even at home just so people won’t forget me i have a constant fear of being forgotten after i die because i wasn’t good enough to be remembered i’ve always wished to be something big like an actor or famous of some sort just so i can be remembered when i die i hate that i know all ill ever be is forgotten after i die