All Rants

My parents keep saying I’m not mature enough. It’s over to stupid stuff too. I wanted a mini fridge because we have to lock up all our cabinets amd the fridge because of my brother. But apparently I’m too immature for that. Wtf. And yea I compline abt a lot but i try! I do most all the chores when my brother gets to sit around and do nothing. I’m apparently to immature for reading adult books for crying when I’m genuinely fucking sad for missing anyone for haveing friends they don’t like for everything idfk anymore

I hate it when people develop my habits and dictionary, yet still end up the favorite.

when I was a kid, all my friends were lying about having trauma. like, every day they remembered some new, out-there story about how they were victimized by their neighbors who moved, a kid I had conveniently never met or heard of who "left the school a couple years ago" and didn't show up in the yearbook. I just wanted to be included, so I lied, too. I started saying small things happened to me, and it eventually progressed into me making up that a real kid molested me and telling people outside that lying friend group. I feel guilty all the time that I would lie about that. I was old enough to know better, I was in like 4th grade.

I have an online bf. It’s not convenient in the slightest but it works. You olny can be online during school tho and I got it banned on my one website. So I’m scared as fuck that we’re going to end up breaking up. We haven’t talked much since June and he still seems like he’s fine with being with me. I can’t take much more if we break up I’m going to kill myself. How do I get to talk to him more?!

I am so pissed with my husband right now. He chose to go with his friends for night out over hanging with his family. I already told him I wanted to go for outdoor movie here in town. But he cancel that planned! This is not the first! He’s reason is because he work so hard for the whole week that’s why he deserve that. Well, I fucking work the whole week too! All I want is just a family bonding. Now he is mad at me because I feel disappointed and having a tantrums right now.

If I hadn't been told to kill then I would be called a serial killer. I don't think I'm not a serial killer. I just don't want to be charged with crimes because I want to kill. You can say it was my orders or it was my mission but I wanted to kill them. It is my fault too.

im sooo tired. tried overdosing on every meds i see last night but doesn't seem to take effect. now, i have to live a life where i constantly regret every step i take in this world. just take my life, please.

I want to give up on liking him because it just seems unreciprocated (which—fair), but at the same time I want to grow closer as friends with him but that also seems one-sided… Should I let it go?

I'm supposed to be doing SAT prep right now, but I can't stop my mind from drifting to him. I haven't been able to go a day without thinking about him, actually. It's been about 3 years now since we broke up, and I know it's useless to make universes in my head with what ifs and if onlys about what would have happened if it worked out. But even so, sometimes I genuinely believe he'll be the only person who'll ever get that close to me. Which is ironic because we're practically strangers now. I tried to see other people, but I don't recognize the way I behave in relationship anymore. With him, I was able to let myself get genuinely close to someone without constantly thinking about how vulnerable I was being. Now I have this push and pull pattern where I'll let someone get close, then get scared when it starts feeling too real and pull away. I still remember so much of the relationship, even if it’s distant now. It's strange to remember something so deeply and know it’s gone.

Whatever just not feeling today… bad day at work

I just wish I can talk to someone about my mental health, someone willing to listen. music is the only thing keeping me alive. I just wish someone just notice i’m going insane. I just wish I could stop comparing myself and be so freaking insecure. I just want someone to notice and not make jokes about it. I have such a hard time opening up to people in real life. I just wish someone could just notice that I’m on the brink of suicide.

I know I have issues, just not enough. I feel awful whenever I go into the old game store we used to play dnd in or listen to the bo burnham music you introduced me to. I was so young, you shouldn't have done those things. But their GF had it so much worse. The one person I could have talked to but if I do I seem annoying. I was 8. I didn't want to know about cults or suicide or slurs or arson but i did because you were 16 and you taught me . I don't feel safe around you. We're in the same marching band so I need to see you but it hurts. I was so stupid.

Feeling the need to exist is worse than feeling free to die. Was a-ok with dying for ages, but no, now I need to be here because come to find out, I am not the only one in my scrambled egg brain. I cant just kill us all so now I am just misrable. I will keep walking and trying until I snap or I grow old and wonder what any of it was for. I am kind of pissed when I see people say they are lonley, that is just because I am bitter about the fact I am alone. There's a difference between lonley and isolated. Been years since I spoke to another person and I am honestly terrified of people. If a someone tried to befriend me I would probably run instead of attempt it. I am trying so hard to live but its only a matter of weeks before I wakeup in a hospital with no idea how I got there. I wish I could go back to not knowing I had DID so i could kms without the guilty conscience of taking out a happy go lucky 6 yo with me. I am so fucking tired I want to rest. I hate that life means something now

Reason 1,000,001 why I hate a drunk. My fan is threatening my mom going "ILL BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU". they were saying it over and over like a broke record. Sent my anxiety through the roof. I honestly didn't think they'd get like this so soon. They had a birthday recently and no family wished them happy birthday so I could tell they were depressed by it. It's no reason to become a raging drunk though. I didn't do anything to them. My goodness smh geez. It's like the more they get drunk the more aggressive they get. I wish knew how this feels now. It's bad enough I have a karen in the building that don't care if we're dead outside in the gutter because they tried getting us evicted. Now this shit. I hate this fuckin place. I wish they'd my fan would go to rehab they seriously need it. The verbal abuse and emotional distress is enough to push someone over the edge. They have no care of what we go through. I deal with enough as is.

afucckk me man i cant do shit righ ti miss him so fucking much i feel like i99m w the guy iom, w out of spite and idk whata to do about it i wna be fruiends w him but he loives me too fcking much fuck fuck ufck my mood is shit i ughhhhhhhh im so styrressed im not done but i wish i was but i hvae too much fucking grit to be donwe i dont even like that one ting thatsx been giving me life motivation that much anymore and its ruiniung me like honestly RUINING me and to make it worse the guy im tal;king toii sounds like ym oityher ex and im spinningn nlost track of time havbent left my hoursaae in sdays

My partner I feel is frustrated with her work and everything else. I try to take some things off her plate and even offer massages and other things to help them relax. Today they came home and had a really bad day at work. I come home from work and lend her an ear to listen then try to give her a relaxing massage to ease the tension. She got mad and told me to stop, I asked if she needed a minute and she ignored me.

I don't know what's wrong; I'm in so much pain. I can't breathe; I can't stop crying, or maybe I just can't cry at all.

where was this empathy when i was the one struggling :P

I wanna run away so bad. I'm not explaining why for personal reasons but I want to so bad. any help I guess lol ?

constantly being shouted at for the smallest things or hating home and school at school it was always u look like a boy and I thought u were trans when I first saw u as if that didn’t hurt and when they first mentioned my teeth that hurt asw and I remember tying my tights around my neck to try to kill myself knowing I wouldn’t have the willpower to do it ahaha I still laugh at how pathetic I am to this day and then yr 8 came and people constantly avoided me I don’t even know what I did i remember that time in drama when I got told I should play the dad bc I look like it and when I wore a skirt for the first time and she told me to put back trousers on bc I’m a boy and honestly all little innocent me could do was shake my head and laugh but nothing was ever funny to me I thought abt ending it daily I remember crying one time in history bit embarrassing tbh but it’s wtv I just hate it all and when ppl would get offended for getting told they look like me so hey thanks a lot