All Rants

every night for the past month I've cried myself to sleep because I hate my brother so much I actually hate him and I don't know if I feel safe around him anymore.

These are her flaws: She is younger than you with a solid generational difference She is married to a military man! How dare you bro! She is a camping fool. You obviously don’t like that shit! Do you remember the last time! She is not very feminine. Jesus do you remember the last time!!!! If she is attracted, she is attracted to your power and influence. Not you man! She has two very small children and she is still breastfeeding a baby. For gods sake stop thinking about her!

I feel like I have so much rage and anger built up inside of me that I haven't been able to let go of and it is swallowing me whole

wtf is wrong with me I cant do this school starts soon and I'm fucking using nsfw chat bots. tf are my "friends" gonna say? I wanna see bella she actually cares I miss bella I cant wait to see her.

I feel like I am not anyones number 1 and that none of my friends would pick me first and I have one friend who is always really mean but I can't stop being friends with her because the the rest of the friend group would side with her and not me so it is just better to have fake friends than no friends but it is breaking me from the inside out and I don't how much longer I can hold the anger back when I see her

i feel pretty unlovable for a multitude of reasons. im just a difficult person i guess. but i wish i was in love. i keep thinking about mundane stupid shit like buying a christmas tree or going grocery shopping together and i want it so bad. but i dont think it'll ever happen for me.

I’m so scared of losing them they’re all I have

I hate that I don't understand love like im supposed to. I know the idea, meaning, and I think I feel it. love for me just feels like a black whole in my chest prob bc I don't know how or when to express it so I either don't at all or I do too much and loose connections. every time ive felt there was mutual love of any kind the sec i became difficult(for parents specifically) or needed smth they weren't there. so its been hard to belief someone could actually love me fully. i chase love but push it away its like everything is so close to what i need but still in a murky grey area where i dont know how to act. not to mention i alr express love weirdly. thats prob one reason why i love ivan from alnst sm heh.

I might cut myself again I’m so scared I don’t want to

My frustrations are many. People cant drive worth crap. That's why there's so many accidents in the area. People wanna ride your ass or go around you if you're going slow over a bumpy part of road or railroad crossings. Tf!? They'll pull out on front of you go 50 ft then pull off. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU DO THAT?! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU DO THAT 🤯 I had that happen once today. Why of what purpose is it does it really get you there any faster forcing someone coming your way to slow down near stop so you can merely pull off a little ahead again? I also had 2 people pass me on an extremely bumpy road. Sure go ahead tear your car up like CJ on San Andreas it won't bother me none. Idk how I got on this subject it's just been an awful day on 2 hrs of sleep. I hope I can sleep tonight 😴

i wish everyone here the best 🩷 decided to give up on life since its been stressing me out lately and i genuinely don't know what to do so i chose to cross to the other side. i have been feeling alone in this battle and i think its best for me to lay down. idk what will happen to me but to anyone who's reading this: please know that you are loved and you are not alone 🩷

to start this off, I cant tell the difference when it comes to different kinds of love. they often just get mixed around into a mess I cant understand. I've lost friends and prevented connections bc of just not knowing what I was feeling and wanting to get it out my head. But somewhat recently I've began to feel a way for my best friend that I've never felt its like I don't just love her in a platonic way but its not like in actively seeking her out romantically. heck I don't even know if I even feel romantic love at all. And its not like I can talk to anyone about it bc like hell imma talk to my parents Abt a girl as a girl, and I don't feel comfortable talking abt it with of my other friends, AND she is my Bsf the person I'm closest to and am the most comfortable with in many ways but bc its Abt her that's an obvious no. what makes it even worse is I'm not sure if she cares as much for me as I do her and I wouldn't blame he and I'm not asking her. tbh I'm scared of her response.

Today was a heck of a day. Stress anxiety causing neighbors and family and other stuff. A mouthy drunk that says stuff they shouldn't. I hate it brings out the worst in them. Like had the audacity of bitching about paying me something back. WELL NOBODY ASKED YOU TO "BORROW" ANYTHING OFF ME IN THE 1ST PLACE NOW DID THEY!?!?!? HUH!? IGNORANT ASSHOLE. I so cannot stand the other person they become drunk. Why they get like that I fail to understand. In the end they'll say they blacked out don't remember nothing but when it started. So my head is filled with a bazillion memories of their hellacious drunks and awful words. They're pretty bad probably best I don't mention them. Hell theyve even caused the dog trauma. They cower in fear over normal talking a lot because of raging yelling. And my dr wonders "why I have anxiety"? If you only knew. And I even got the blame FOR Them getting drunk. Like wtf!? I can't force ANYBODY to get drunk. My fan is some kind of fucked up 😔

I’m so fucking tired of it all. I genuinely have no reason to live anymore. School is too hard. I don’t care bout y friends or future. I just want to die. I know I’ll never be a real guy or accepted in my family for who I am and at the end of the day I should just die.

What's a daily frustration that seems small but keeps building up?

My parents keep saying I’m not mature enough. It’s over to stupid stuff too. I wanted a mini fridge because we have to lock up all our cabinets amd the fridge because of my brother. But apparently I’m too immature for that. Wtf. And yea I compline abt a lot but i try! I do most all the chores when my brother gets to sit around and do nothing. I’m apparently to immature for reading adult books for crying when I’m genuinely fucking sad for missing anyone for haveing friends they don’t like for everything idfk anymore

I hate it when people develop my habits and dictionary, yet still end up the favorite.

when I was a kid, all my friends were lying about having trauma. like, every day they remembered some new, out-there story about how they were victimized by their neighbors who moved, a kid I had conveniently never met or heard of who "left the school a couple years ago" and didn't show up in the yearbook. I just wanted to be included, so I lied, too. I started saying small things happened to me, and it eventually progressed into me making up that a real kid molested me and telling people outside that lying friend group. I feel guilty all the time that I would lie about that. I was old enough to know better, I was in like 4th grade.

I have an online bf. It’s not convenient in the slightest but it works. You olny can be online during school tho and I got it banned on my one website. So I’m scared as fuck that we’re going to end up breaking up. We haven’t talked much since June and he still seems like he’s fine with being with me. I can’t take much more if we break up I’m going to kill myself. How do I get to talk to him more?!

I am so pissed with my husband right now. He chose to go with his friends for night out over hanging with his family. I already told him I wanted to go for outdoor movie here in town. But he cancel that planned! This is not the first! He’s reason is because he work so hard for the whole week that’s why he deserve that. Well, I fucking work the whole week too! All I want is just a family bonding. Now he is mad at me because I feel disappointed and having a tantrums right now.