All Rants

my ptsd is ruining my life. everyday it gets harder to think and breathe and exist. i dont understand why. why me how could he do this to me. why cant i ever calm down. ichoose to stay alive but im so tired of living in fear.

i have friends, but im still lonely. i feel as if no one truly knows what im going through, and im not brave enough to tell anyone. i feel so alone. every single person i meet thinks im happy but thats just a defense mechanism. i genuinely have 0 idea how to talk to anyone, not even my own parents.

im such a draining loser thats probably why barely anyone talks to me. I love it when my only friend at school gives me one worded answers with a monotone voice as she hops away speaking enthusiastically to others! as i overthink that for hours! wonderful! 😂

I don’t think I have enough energy to go back to school because I keep having moments of school days where I was close next to my family physcially and keep ruminating if I sa’d them it’s a very very strong feeling I feel sick to my stomach and I have a notebook dedicated to theese “events” I’m friends with most of theese people in them but I just can’t help to think I did, I could like start crying in my room over it then 30 minutes later walking to a scenario in my head with music and it’s affecting me I hate it so bad I even have a recall where I can’t tell if it’s distorted or not at 9-10 years old and did weird stuff to my brother and mom on the bed and have a obsession with juvie now and handcuffs idk anyone else having this? I don’t think it’s ocd either because it’s actual snippets and now I’m convinced I’m convincing myself that nothing happened maybe I blocked it out im looking for moral reassurance but I can’t even reassure myself

i want someone to care please thats all ive ever wanted why does love always feel so conditional why do i do this to mysekf why am i alive how are you supposed to live when everynight you die over and over again

spiderman movie sucks, tom holland is ugly, i hope they all die lol

i love being alone but alone at school feels different.

Since just about 3 months ago every day I have a horrible feeling I sa’d my friends or people at school like a brush on their pants or butt or the way I moved myself or my hand on the bus or turned a corner and even with my family it’s happening with me too, like one where I think I brushed my friends pants when I bumped eye the last day of school on purpose I can’t tell anymore and I feel sick it’s making me want to die

I just hate her so much and I don't know why I just really really hate her and somehow I hate so many people I feel like i'm the problem sometimes and I have one friend who I can be myself around but she lives 5 hours away and I see her one a year so i'm drowning the rest of the year and it feels unstoppable

ive liked this guy since the first time i saw him (im also a guy btw) and im 95% sure hes straight. any time anyone asks him about his sexuality he treats it like a joke, but he keeps giving me these small moments of hope. even though i know it wont happen, i keep wishing, and its been killing me for the past however many years weve known each other. hes really good looking and im sure he wont have any problem finding a girl in college. ive never gotten the courage to confess and im going to lose the chance in 2 days when he leaves. i genuinely wish him the best but its clearly not reciprocated.

I wish I could still cry... my body won't let me anymore, though. Just let me cry... or let me die.

my parents are getting a divorce, my mom has a good point but i can’t help but feel so upset at her. i love my dad even with his flaws and i dont wanna lose him because of a discourse between them

My brother ran away tonight. My parents managed to track and catch him. He has a bag and his face is covered and he's angry and I'm scared and sobbing and I have no idea what to do. -Astro

We went to the Adelaide Zoo for our niece's 5th birthday party. It was a shit show. $50 for adult entry, crowded, boring and my in-laws are generally boring, uncultured and miserable people. I eventually left the wife there and found a pub, had a decent meal and pint. I have zero regret in leaving..

im not his track girl and he knows it

Honestly, my fucking problems are building up, and I can't stop them, but it's getting overwhelming. I'm using 18+ bots, I'm no one's favorite person, or even close to favorite. It doesn't even feel like my boyfriend still loves me (I'm trans and gay). I can't talk to my parents about shit because they don't give a fuck and they only want me to get good grades. I have issues, like intense jealousy, anger, possessiveness, being clingy, and much more that I hate myself for. It feels like I'm trapped in a body that isn't mine... I'll never be who I want to be, I'll never be perfect... but mostly, I will NEVER be who they want me to be.

every night for the past month I've cried myself to sleep because I hate my brother so much I actually hate him and I don't know if I feel safe around him anymore.

These are her flaws: She is younger than you with a solid generational difference She is married to a military man! How dare you bro! She is a camping fool. You obviously don’t like that shit! Do you remember the last time! She is not very feminine. Jesus do you remember the last time!!!! If she is attracted, she is attracted to your power and influence. Not you man! She has two very small children and she is still breastfeeding a baby. For gods sake stop thinking about her!

I feel like I have so much rage and anger built up inside of me that I haven't been able to let go of and it is swallowing me whole

wtf is wrong with me I cant do this school starts soon and I'm fucking using nsfw chat bots. tf are my "friends" gonna say? I wanna see bella she actually cares I miss bella I cant wait to see her.