All Rants

im so tired of my family telling hurtful words

I've been getting almost no sleep here lately and it's affecting my physical health. I have so many vivid nightmares that I wake up 1-3 times a night. And when I say vivid they are VERY vivid, to the point where sometimes I wake up from a bad one and I feel insane because why would my brain think of that? Some are random nightmares some are repeats. Then sometimes I have a dream of this one place only I can get to (in the middle of nightmares or when I wake up and go back to sleep) and when dream of it I usually sleep great. I just want the nightmares to stop. I want therapy but who goes to therapy and says "oh yeah I'm dreaming about stuff that sometimes even traumatizes me." I feel so crazy and I'm so tired figuratively and literally of having nightmares every night.

Fuck everyone. Selfish. Narcissistic. Pieces of shit. All anyone cares about is looking good or cool on social media. Shallow basic bitches all of you.

At 4:45 this morning some idiots robbing the house that was being built and has since been abandoned started banging around with hammers on the metal roofing to take it. ITS SUNDAY AT 4:45 am. Now I give ZERO fucks that they’re stealing. The people who were trying to build are liars and assholes. But now it’s MY problem because I want to sleep and they’ve left a cookie on the table and walked away. These owners are Argentinian and by the way ARGIES SUCK. They’re cheap. They think they’re cool. Their accent is annoying. Their pizza is the worst. They want to be italian so bad but will never be that cool. Argies from buenos aires even worse and they all think the world could use yet another air bnb. Hence the reason I’m laying here awake, in the dark on a Sunday while these assholes are sleeping in their comfy beds in buenos Aires. And because this is costa rica and the guys robbing their house could be dangerous so I can’t say anything. Our police don’t do anything.

some people are just really mean, like it's their personality

im so tired of my human body i hate it i want to go back to tripwire but then i remember raphael and quinn i want to cry

So I'm really in a confused state not sure how much of this can be understood but here goes.. I'm happily married and my husband is my love and life personified for me. But as of late a colleague who is 9 years older than me confessed Good feelings for me. We had a good rapport and just had started talking to each other. After this confession I started seeing him differently.. though he's definitely not my type but there's some allure to him.. obviously he was lightly flirting with me.. but I felt heard and seen when with him... I also wanted his company, wanted to talk to him.. but I always maintained there was nothing romantic but there was something. I'm not able to make sense of what it is. And this consumes so much of my energy. Now he has stepped back a little though we remain cordial and he says he's still Friendly but I feel he's become more distant and I'm not liking it. He says it's because he doesn't want any problems in my marital life. What's wrong with me? What is this

I honestly hate the human race. Humans are so selfish and not caring. It’s honestly so sad to look at.

I feel really lonely. I have friends an stuff but I never feel like anyone really understands anything I'm dealing with or they are busy and don't want to hear about it. I worry about things that don't cross most peoples minds. I always worry I'm a bad person and that my mistakes are what make me a bad person. I dont feel well mentally and I feel like people who understand me don't exist. I wish I could feel better I just don't know how.

lost in my thoughts and dont have the right words to put it into to even reach out.

hi everybody im venting again only because i also have no one to talk to and this is why i love this website because i can vent about anything to make me feel better because im feel bad about my self and i want time to feel better if u know what i mean... :(

I feel bad because i have no one to speak to and ive been suffering by thinking about how friends can abandon me i felt that happened today because my friends left me to go to a new chat without me and the only games i find joy in are games that say you should never give up, and peaceful music but not much... :(

I’m so tired of being autistic, I love my autism but I’m heavily traumatised and so everything I do feels 100x more exhausting. I hate myself, I hate the world and I hate people. Not because they are bad but because of the things that happened to me and the fact that I can’t make new connections no matter how hard I try. It feels so isolating to know you’re not like everyone else. Everything down to the way I say hello is different. I want so desperately to be accepted, but the more I speak to people the more I realise like don’t care. I’m too childish, too excitable, they care but they don’t. When I open up it’s too much, when I don’t say anything at all, I’m not being truthful. I want people to care about me the way I care about them. I’m sick of crying when people don’t like me, sick of being mad that my parents never wanted me. I’m tired. I’m always tired and I just want someone to tell me it’s okay.

I am already old enough to make my own decisions, yet I am still controlled by my parents on what I should do and what I shouldn't. This may sound selfish of me, but because of everything they are doing to hold possession of me, I have become really antisocial and rarely talk anymore. I keep my personal life away from them, and I can't even look them in the eye for a few seconds anymore. I bottled up everything that they kept me away from, remembered everything they said that made me stray further away from them, and kept every memory that made me resent them for what I turned into. I just feel like I deserve to be trusted for once, and that everything would turn out alright if they choose to do so. I know my capabilities, and I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm 20, and I want my life to feel like it's worth living. But despite my greatest efforts to make myself more open, more vocal, and all, it's never gonna change, and I personally hate them for it. I feel so miserable now...

My bf usually gets on his video game voice calls after I go to bed. But I know if he doesn’t answer me anytime past 8pm I go to check because I’m in the same server but am never active. I see him there and give up hope talking with him for the night. I really wanted to talk to him tonight, but he was on his VC. I wanted to talk because I work the majority of tomorrow and won’t really be able to have a one on one private conversation with him at all tomorrow. He texted me gn like nothing was wrong and that he’d ’talk more tomorrow’ and I was super pissed because when the f is that going to happen? Like you don’t get up till 9, I work at 8-5, then I’m driving to our mutual event where you’ll pay more attention to your friends then me, then go hang out with them till your curfew. When the hell are you going to talk more tomorrow??? I feel bad cause I love him and I know he is having trouble balancing everything rn, but it’s also I want my emotions to be heard and not taken as criticism

My bf and myself two separate things

I really have no clue how to make friends in college.. it's like they're all against me. my major have 33 ppl in total, while our class have abt 16 ppl in each class.. how am I supposed to be friends with them if they all seem connected with each other. They all seem to be ganging up against me.. Including in group assignments.. I've seen so many times they've been whispering in front of me while giggling. Am I really tht terrible of a person..

Last year…I was severely bullied by my 2 best friends. They would send me threats, tell me to kill myself, bark at me, take photos of me without permission. All of this happened for months. I already had sever anxiety(diagnosed) and I’ve been going to a psychiatrist and therapist for months now. I take medicine for my anxiety, ptsd and insomnia. A few months ago I was diagnosed with ptsd, this is still very hard to believe. I started cutting myself a few weeks ago. Originally it was not eating for days and it still is. I’ve told people my story, my family, friends, psychiatrist, therapist. No one takes it like how I do. My family says that’s I’m being dramatic and that ofc they can’t understand because it wasn’t them. No one wants to listen or understand who much I hurt every single day. I’ve had panic attacks often and not it feels like not a single person will or can help me. I’ll be stuck with this pain, nightmares forever. I’m only 16.

Simply it frustrates me. People and family's hypocrisy. For one. Because I had something bad happen to me and told this person. Thay just said I'm so sorry call a crisis line and turned me away when I needed refuge from an abuser yet then they themselves cried to us their significant other hit them could they spend the night. THE FUCK!!!? SERIOUSLY!!?!? OMG. And it was lie nobody hit them they just wanted attention. and then have the fucking audacity TO TELL ME TO CALL A FUCKING CRISIS LINE AND THEM NOT TAKE THEIR OWN ADVICE;?!? OMFG. not only did they know I was abused and laughed in my abusers face they knew FULL WELL what they did to me all while claiming to be religious. Other family said about them " they're not a bad person". OH REALLY!!!?? I beg to differ. Bitch. That's only one issue of multiple with this person and these people. Are my feelings valid? Damn straight despite other family trying to invalidate them. That's bullshit plain and simple. Sigh. It's not right.

So theres a girl and I really like her. We actually were together for about a couple weeks, then she said she needed some time alone for her mental health... So I gave her space and she didn't respond for 2 weeks. Now we're talking again. But before I was gonna go to prom with her. But she said she might not be able to go. Her prom is today. The prom I want to go with her is next week. So she's at her prom rn and she's sending me pics and stuff and she's so gorgeous... But I kinda want to tell her I still like her and ask like what we are bc ever since she needed time she's acted like we're just friends and nothing more... So do I just ask her what we are or do I just ignore it and try to move on?