All Rants

I cry over everything, when someone starts yelling I cry immediately, when someone insults me I cry immediately and I can defend myself or express how I feel without breaking out into sobs. I find myself crying almost everyday because of problems, my father and his insults and him in general, he isn't a good person. I'm not sure what I can do, therapy is expensive. Everything I try to stop myself from crying over everything doesn't work. I try to build tolerance, I try to distract and ground myself, I try to leave the conversation or just don't talk but that just makes it worse. I'll never be able to have a serious conversation with someone if I'm this sensitive.

IM so fucking over people one day they bitch about me not telling them how i feel and then i do open up after a serious conversation about how i feel like i wasnt heard as people didnt say anything but up and left the room which personally hurt me i wish i knew what to do i wish i understood i wish i could do better and all i get is that they think im guilt tripping her and it hurts i said they the could leave my life if they wanted and that i realized im a horrible friend and im sorry for my actions and what they have done and the fact that this argument between me and my friend group happened back in 2013. I don't understand what to do. Am I truly in the wrong for speaking my feelings? I just wish i knew what to do it hurts so bad having to choose my whole frined group who was fine until he helped this girl out. As they called it emotional cheating and now im lost just sitting here wanting to cry and further understand why i am always the problem in things... i wish i wasnt but yk.

Well i did it again. I think i might have overdone it cause my heads getting all foggy and im dizzy but i couldn't help it. Ik i sound dramatic but its hard to stop i like the pain and the pain distracts me of what goes on in my life.

I'm so tired i haven't slept well in over a month. I dont get to. All i do is school work and babysit what are supposed to be my fuckin nephews but brothers truly. I dont get a say in it. I say i dont want to? It doesn't matter. Have i cut? Yes; does it help? No. Have i tried talking to therapist? Yes. What do they say? "Oh just say you dont want to." LIKE ITS THAT SIMPLE. I CANT ALL I DO IS SCHOOL WORK AND BABYSIT I HAVE NO TIME TO MYSELF ANYMORE I WANT THIS TO STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP

money its always been my only goal im scared i wnt reach it and without that i dont have a purpose its all i ever wanted

Why is it so hard for me to just talk? I hate myself for it. My fear had ruined every aspect of my life. Always having that sinking feeling when I wake up everyday wishing this could all end. ……Sorry if I’m being too dramatic on my fear of socializing. ;)

in my eschool course I had a DBA, & I was really anxious about it because, 1 - some person I’ve never talked to nor seen, and 2 - I had to call them in front of the class (prior courses were after school times) “PERSON” started it off normal, Now, typically, most I get from a DBA is the teacher asking for a basic rundown & if I need any help, but no, “PERSON” was asking questions about assignments i don’t remember more than two words from. Me, already overwhelmed , goes, “Uh… um… H-hold on, let me go check,” because I wasn’t in front of the computer w my notes. wouldn’t been a problem HAD “PERSON” NOT MADE IT ONE!!! “PERSON” went, “Hurry up, I have a packed schedule today.” wasn’t so bad, Here’s another “You need to give me something or we’ll re-do this DBA” they said next had me fuming “next time you better know what you’re doing because i won’t do this again” SORRY THAT YOU CANT HAVE PATIENCE FOR A KID WHOSE NEVER TALKED TO YOU, IN TESTING SEASON & INVOLVED IN A ONGOING POLICE CASE

so one of our alters [Void] got us into a situationship that we don't know how to get out of, and the thing is, this would be fine, IF WE WEREN'T ALREADY DATING SOMEONE, and that person we consider to be dating the body but also specific alters. they don't know about the situation ship YET. Also the guy [Lunar, I'll call him] who Void got us in a situation ship with, is like VERY OBSSESIED with us, like think Pierrot from TFC but more harrlequin vibes. like He has pics of my avatar on his walls and a [ykyk] doll of my avatar...like gross...and he's also like SUPER freaky [like sexual freaky], and idk how to get out of the situation ship

i feel alone,emtey,blank i feel like people have me as a last option

fcking shit, If she only has a solid plan, they we won't be repeating this over and over again

I wish somebody would notice when I'm down. (TW) I wish somebody would say something when I'm on my 30th suicide "joke" of the afternoon. But whatever I'm the happy comedic relief that you go to when everyone else is busy!

I have no real friends and it kinda sucks. Also probably my fault. Just wish I could be somebody's first choice. This loneliness got to me so bad that I also was fishing for something romantic for a while. I got someone to talk to but turns out they don't like me at all and now that's broken off too. At least I got to experience it. It's getting old that all 4 of my friends either don't like me, are bigots, or have friends that fall into that category, and all of them only talk to me when their first choices aren't available. Am I worth the time? Sure doesn't seem like it.

One of these times you are gonna be completely shocked when you come strutting back to the car where you left me 2 hours ago thinking I would have no issue waiting here for you while you let that junkie whore suck your dick down in the tunnel while you guys get high on fetty. I won't be here. I won't drop everything to come get you. I won't even answer my phone at all insted I'll be home getting ready to go out ¹to make my own cash my own way .

It is what it is ... I can't take it anymore

i think im trans but im too scared to tell anyone and i dont know what to do

Alcohol is the only thing that helps me say how I feel anymore . 19 months sober for nothing. I can't live a sober life.

I just fucking hate everyone alive on this planet. Legitimately want to just not exists right now. I’m so tired of living. Alcohol just sometimes isn’t enough. People are so shit to eachother.

I feel so disgusting. My dad raped me. I mean I think it was rape. For some reason my body welcomed him, but I hated every second of it. Does that count as rape? And I've a relapse into hurting myself again because of him. He keeps telling me not to tell anyone but Its really hard and its making me feel like shit. I know if I tell someone he'll prob end up in jail and I don't want that and that's why I havn't told anyone but I feel like shit and I don't want this to keep happening. But I know it will because i'm a people pleaser and I cant say no.

i did something that i knew could be wrong, but i didn't know for SURE that the wrong thing was happening, but i didn't take the steps to make sure it wasn't even though i knew it was a possibility. and now it turns out i DID do wrong/bad and i feel evil and disgusting for it. i don't know what to do or how to feel better because i HATE the thing i did and usually ACTIVELLY ALWAYS avoid it but this time i just didn't think enough about it to avoid it and now i did something wrong and i feel horrible.

I hate autism. Ik its not an excuse for any behaviour and im aware ive been mean in the past and current. And im sorry. Im always working hard towards my goals and my future. Sometimes living with autism is hell. Social life is nonexistent, and connections is harder then ever. Love life is also nonexistent too especially when ur lgbtq. But I've accepted it.