All Rants

It is so annoying, Im auditioning for the honor band but it is so hard! Its been 30 minutes and I'm still struggling on the first measure! It is so annoying and frustrating. The audition is due in one month!

when i was 13 i was raped by my boyfriend at the time. it took me forever to come to terms with it, and i only started to accept it after i grew and realized what he did to me. He used my body and got mad at me when i said no and would even force himself on me. He would mentally abuse me to the point that i considered suicide, and when i would try to leave, he would threaten his own life. i felt trapped, and felt like i couldn't get out. only reason i did was because he broke up with me...then proceeded to beg for me back all the way up to my junior year in hs. I am now a senior, and what he did still weighs heavily on my soul. I cant feel intimacy in a normal way now, and often view myself as nothing. It kills me, and the quilt is something i dont think will ever leave me, however it does not control me and i have an amazing partner now, and an even better life with him gone. His name still scares me, and seeing him makes my heart bound with fear. But he does not control me i am free.

No sleep, just pure schizo thoughts

I cant stop thinking about him. More than a year has passed but i still feel the need to check his account to see his face again. I cant live normally. My mind is always focused in the possibility of him being in the same place as me. I pick my outfits based on what i think he would find cute if he saw me at school. I find a reason to talk to his classmates only to be close to him. I choose the food we use to eat together just in case he sees and notices that i still do what we used to. I comment on posts about things he likes to try to have his attention. I try to learn his classes so i can walk past him at school. I cry myself to sleep thinking about all the things i did that could've possibly made him mad or sad. My worst nightmare is to upset him, even tho we don't talk anymore. I have dreams about we being friends again. Im obsessed and emotionally dependent over a person rhat is no longer in my life, and its making me go insane.

‘Slap and run’ is a game that teaches boys to hit girls and it’s okay. Just so you know! ‘Dress to impress’ is a game where models have perfect bodies. Just so you know! ‘Roblox’ is a game that is now a dating app. Just so you know! ‘Among us’ removed the chat now it’s a free chat because people were getting bullied. Just so you know! ‘Her boo, His witch, Our pumpkin’ are three cups. Just so you know! We are letting illegal r@pest in America. Just so you know! Do you see what’s wrong here? Or are you still blind.

i’ve always been a fat and ugly girl and it doesn’t help that i’m a teenager in highschool where it’s impossible to be liked if you’re not conventionally attractive. and ive always been kind of depressed nd it’s only been ramped up ever since i got sexually assaulted by my step-father. i now live with my grandparents and my sister but my sister never wants to listen to me vent and she gets mad at me if i want to talk to her and she gets mad that i don’t want to work out with her even though i had a shit day at my new school and i opened up to her about my suicide attempt and she just got mad at me again and honestly i don’t want to attempt again but at this point it seems like my only option

I don’t really have anywhere else to say this but I love saying hot takes. If there’s another website or something that yk that’s good for mainly hot takes instead of venting LMK👀 anyway what people need to realize is these damn kpop idols are NOT ur friends just cus they speak English. It’s so weird seeing people try to be buddy buddy or ask/say super weird stuff in front of them because they understand you better. it’s just cause you communicate the same and yes they’re gonna give you fanservice js so you’ll buy shit, they’re not ur friends. Like I feel like people don’t realize that. They’re grown people, trust me they dgaf about you, they do for fans as a whole since they need support but not u individually. if more kpop idols/groups spoke English fluently and lived in the United States their would DEFINITELY be a huge sasaeng problem. Probably worse than Korea, since they only do that bc they’re in the same area. u can interact with them but they’re not ur best friebds

everywhere I go people say "mmhmm". It's become a humiliation ritual. Apparently, my ex-boyfriends are out to get me, leaked my sexts, and I don't know what to do. It never ends. I'll never be at those bonfires. I don't want to even know what they say about me, but it hurts. It hurts to feel like people are against me! Human beings want to feel included and feel like they belong in the world, not ostracized and belittled. It sucks to be me right now!

How tha FUCK does someone even become MORBIDLY OBESE!! BECAUSE OF TRAUMA OR BECAUSE THEY ARE COPING WITH FEELINGS THAT MAKE THEM TURN TO FOOD TO MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER I BLAME THE PARENTS. I KNOW MY SISTER HAS HAD FUCKED SHIT HAPPEN TO HER SHE IS A VICTIM HERSELF BUT FUCK TO WATCH THIS IN REAL TIME WITH THE NEXT GENERATION FFS I ALREADY KNOW MY NEPHEW WILL HAVE A TROUBLED LIFE BUT I WILL KNOW WHY. THAT DOESNT MAKE IT ANY BETTER.. AND TO THE PARENTS THAT DONT WANT TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER HOPEFULLY MY WORDS DONT PUT YOU THROUGH A CARDIAC ARREST, WORDS CAN KILL I FUCKEN SWEAR.

Someone i hate is going to die surrounded by people they love, either nobody knows they've hurt me or they side with them. This person has hit me, called me stupid bitch, useless human being, sick in the head from age 4 to now. They are a very bad person and nobody cares. Nobody cares about me. They're gonna die with a good reputation and that hurts me so bad. My life matters so little to these people. They just love this abusive person. The most narcissistic selfish immature person i've ever met. Who's made me terrified of people. Who acts like i'm evil over the smallest thing or sometimes at random- who looks at me with disgust. Who hasn't been nicer to me even after i've almost killed myself, hasn't been nicer to me even though this is their last chance before they die. I'm going to be their punching bag until they die

I hate being a mean person, especially to my loved ones but I hate how my sister is sometimes. My sister is morbidly obese...like literally FUCKEN OBESE, like obese...obese OBESE ...thats not the problem...she has a son...she is so lazy she cant meet his needs...it has come apparent when she told us that he would bang his head on walls at the age of 3...I fucken hate how my sister has not provided a safe home that has everything he needs to not feel stress..how the fuck does a kid bang his head on walls at the AGE OF THREE YEARS OLD THATS A LOT OF STRESS ON A KID FOR THEM TO DO THAT...and my parents they take her side...now they are saying to PUT HIM ON MEDICATION...I FUCKEN HATE...i blame the parents...I blame my sister b/c of how fucken lazy she is my nephew is going to drugged b/c he didnt have the resources when he needed them to build a stable mental psyche that he could handle all of this..he shouldnt of had to feel that way...there will be a day I will say it how it is to my sis

I genuinely want to kill myself. The fact that i can't is what is hurting me. I'm holding everyone back, im holding everyone back, whats the point of my existence. everyone woule exist better than me, everyone would be fine without me, i dont make any difference to anyone, im always mad, always such a horrible person to people, it sucks, oi cant change becaus ethats how ppl see me, only i cant even help my boufriend, i cant even help him, i hate mysekf i hate myself sdo bad, so fuckoing bad,

I’m so sad and stressed rn. Freshman orientation was today and I arrived late cus my friendsparents have no sense of urgency. The only reason why is because my mom’s car isn’t working. I’m grateful but we arrived so fucking late I’m embarrassed. My mom kept following my friends and I was like we have completely different schedules I have a map and she kept yelling at me and people were staring I wanted to cry I was so upset and overstimulated. It was so hot and so many people my shirt was too thick I was sweating and my hair was still damp my feet hurt I have a headache my mom keeps telling me what to do and she didn’t even go to this highschool. I was super stressed and still am idk. on top of that my mom and dad had an argument abt the car it was a whole mess I didn’t get to hear all of it but they’re really mad at each other but I hate that my mom tries to drag me in the arguments and tries to make me pick sides sometimes. I love u both but js don’t. She saw how upset I already was

I'm an amputee Bilateral, and I keep getting into stupid fucking arguments with my boyfriend. I feel upset that I have to ask him to do things for me, or to ask him to do anything. I'm sure he's fed up with me. But the further we're in this relationship, the further he sees me as a worst disabled person. It sucks I don't have two prosthetic legs just one. He's stuck with my family and if I kill myself now, He'll be stuck with my mom, and I guess he'd be to blame. But I don't want that. Nor any of that. He does things for me everyday, but today, he seemed more than agitated. I don't know why. I just know I'm a burden. I went downstairs for myself today, Isolating from him. I ended up falling outside trying to get my order. I wasn't too embarrassed because people weren't outside. It made me feel like shit though. The only reason why I'm staying alive is in hopes that he'll move out and be good on his own, without my family and without me. After that, I'll just finish the job, and kms.

I hate ppl with no sense of urgency

I’m pretty content with being alone it was hard at first having no friends but after a while I got used to it I mean from time to time I do wish I did have someone I could trust and just be myself around I do have an idea why I have no friends it’s probably because I’m really awkward and I just don’t open up to anyone like show them my true personality so I feel like most people just think I’m boring but I also need to put in more effort but I just get so nervous and overthink things like what if they were just being nice and don’t actually want to be my friend and I end just being annoying but I also don’t wanna graduate high school with no friends it honestly feels like I’m gonna be alone forever

I feel like a horrible person. Maybe i am a horrible person. Im disgusting and vile I cant control my emotions, i cant control my reactions, my actions I lost my friends because i was impulsive and couldn’t control my feelings I snapped at my mom accidentally. She ended up crying. What is wrong with me? I feel so bad for her, she deserves a way better child than me. i cant do fucking anything. Everything i do is somehow incorrect. I kinda wanna disappear. I think nobody should have to deal with me. Either that or just not feel anything at all I think i deserve to be alone.

I feel like most people in OSDD/DID spaces don't actually have it. I know it's bad to fakeclaim, but I'm tired of people constantly treating it like it's fun and quirky to have. Nobody ever discusses the dissociation, the PTSD, the memory issues, the sheer horror of having a disorder where your very being is split into many. You can never be one full self. It's fucking ridiculous. I see people drop their little act when it inconveniences them, while I and others suffer DAILY. I'm so fucking tired of "system spaces!!!" because yeah they can be great, but when it comes time to discuss symptoms of the disorder OTHER than alters everyone's silent because nobody fucking experiences it. Oh, integration? Why would you want to heal and have less dissociation?? Yea, nobody will tell you anything about it. Nothing wrong with functional multiplicity, but why does everyone supposedly want it? Not a singular person has dissociation bad enough to want to integrate atleast a BIT?? FUCKING POSERS!!

If you're gonna give shitty advice and be biased on your experiences. Respectfully DON'T RESPOND. Like just talking straight out of your ass. Do not respond to me. Because this is to vent/rant not for dumbasses to tell me I'm in the wrong because what do YOU know about ME. Fuck off, I don't want you to tell me that I suck because MY friends don't like me anymore. Like genuinely why the fuck do you care so much about my life. Go live your own life. Talking about some "Put yourself in their shoes" Like bitch no. I would never be that much of an asshole. How about you put yourself in my shoes and realize that I have seen how they act. You haven't. Nobody respond to this. This is just for me to get these feelings out. Thank you for reading this.

I hate the way I look so much. I feel so fat and chubby and overweight I'm not even sure what my body looks like. I'm 162 cm and 61kg and to me I feel ginormous. I can't do this. My Face is round, I have chapped small lips and a large forehead and a horrendous side profile. Not to mention my hair. It's naturally curly and I straighten it all the time because I feel so insecure when it's curly. I don't know why I hate myself as much as I do but I don't know how to stop it.