All Rants

I hate myself so bad. I don't know how to heal this high level criticism towards myself.

no one knows how much i cry just my pillow and blanket i cry thinking i wanna die but how i dont want it to be painful

I had intention to help my mom who had back pain on folding the clothes. But I didn't fold the clothes right away and it was on the floor. I was looking at my phone and I know I will fold those clothes. Then, she said "Don't fold there cause the floor is not that clean. If I fold clothes, I would have another clean cloth placed underneath those unfolded clothes" which I had never seen her does that. It's ruining my mood to help her a bit, so I immediately take all of those clothes to my room. And have it on the floor too but this one it is clean and assurable enough. I looked at my phone for a while, then she came and said "Let me take my unfolded clothes, you're not folding it right away, and it is in front of the toilet. It is not clean on the floor." And then she starts crying out of nowhere which makes like I'm an evil person there. Like I was literally trying to hold her from taking those because I really wanted to fold all of those clothes but she said my floor room isn't clean.

my parents have been refusing to get me a proper diagnosis for autism because I don't have the same symptoms as my brother, and they're only NOW giving me one but its not even for autism its for asperger's " oh but anon if you get diagnosed with asperger's that's an autism diagnosis!! " I get that. yes. but my mom's only saying I have Asperger's because she looked up asperger's symptoms in TEEN GIRLS and didn't even bother to look up autism symptoms in teen girls. she's only giving me an asperger's diagnosis because, like I said earlier, my symptoms don't line up with my brothers and its pissing me off the " you're not autistic, you don't have the same symptoms as your brother " argument is genuinely upsetting because its called autism spectrum disorder for a reason. symptoms of autism in women are different from symptoms of autism in men and its nsojnsjgfns i feel like im not being taken seriously.

do yu ever want to listen to ur brain? cuz i know i do , i have a besttie who is dirty minded and i was not , she taught me everything , while i was grounded cuz of school grades , my family went through my phone cuz i have the easiest passcode btw and saw our messeges and told everything! to my family when theres a family gathering like brooo its embarrasing for me , like i want to die , they even said whem iget , my period i should take pills to not get preggy like what the fuckkk !!! thats my private life bruh mind ur own bezzwax btw my bff or fake bff s a snitch

I'm such a fucking bitch jsuuducsijdhvsiud

my crush hates me and I'm sick of life

i look so happy but in the inside idk how to tell people but i fell so left out i always see videos of people having plenty friends . well , i have friends but i wanna just call them fake friends they back stab me again and again , it went on 3rd to 4th grade , not until i lost someone someone who i tell my feelings ,my day ,my anger on people i call him dad cuz his family , he adopted me from my mother cause we lived away from each other and my entire childhood was there , he suffered to a lot cuz he was sick after i knew he was gone already i sobbed everyday thinking i wabt to die , i skipped school for a week my class send me condolenses after just 1 month they back stab me again , i have a bff but she will just snitch on me. :((

(Tw) I hate being a teen. My room is always messy and my self expression is hated. My grades are going down and my closest friends keep being less available. I STARVE myself in a way of sh because i dont want anyone to mention any visible scars. I hate having academic expectations, I have dreams of my own, I know I can't reach them, yet I am still expected to. I hate myself for not being the person everybody wants me to be. I don't feel valid and every compliment feels like a lie. I just want everything to be alright. Even if I can fix this all myself, i know i wont do it. Because I just hate. I hate and I only blame myself.

MY DAD WONT LET ME CUT MY HAIR I SWEAR I WANT MY HAIR TO BE GONE AND I HAVE SO MUCH PROBLEMS IDK HOW TO TAKE CARE OF IT IM THE IRON DEFICIENT TEEN NOT HIM I HATE CONSERVATIVENESS SM HE SAYS ITS MORE FEMININE AND HE ALWAYS TRASH TALKS PRETTY WOMEN WHIT PIXIE CUTS N STUFF SCHOOLS STARTING SOON AND ILL BE THE KID WITH RATTY CRUSTY HAIR AND DANDRUFF AGAIN why cant i have nice things

Im so ugly I wake up every day feeling so ugly because my boyfriend never wants to have sex with me and it makes me want to cry

And then if crap you've been through isn't bad enough already this morning, you're being invalidated blamed talked down to and gaslit by those around. Great. I love being trashed and abandoned by those that are supposed to have my back. All I do is speak how I feel about things then I get blamed for stuff. Yeah thanks a lot. I thought family supposed to lift you up not tear you down. It's bad enough neighbors are shit. Family being that isn't helping my day or motivation any whatsoever. They dont have a clue what I go through everyday. And I was simply just going to say something bout the weather and that turned into me being called negative. What kinda warped reality am I living in? It's so effed up

Part 2: Point being these neighbors of mine know they don't/shouldn't be that loud especially in the early morning. Yet they are. They've done multiple things to us that my family just wants to sweep under the rug because they don't want confrontation. I've already had a confrontation with another Karen previously when our vehicle mistakenly took their deserved spot. We misread the sign. So they sent someone to our door and is like "they're the type that'll call the police". Ok. I go to move it the batshit crazy woman jumps out of her car on me and goes berserk. Yeah I match energy and they had nerve to say I was the one being mean.? WTF!?! all you had to do is say please move your car. I genuinely would have done it no questions asked and apologized. But this Karen escalated it. Made it more than it should have been. So basically I've been the dart board and pinata of peoples bullshit treatment here because other family refuses to deal with anything. And they wonder why I got anxiety?

How do i explain to my younger brother that i didnt mean it and he ended up beating me up i just

I don’t know what to do anymore.

What are people's problems anymore? Is it because they're miserable they want you that way as well? Every morning for the last while this bitch of a neighbor has been roaring their floor waking me up like they don't gaf the amount of noise they make. I get the Karen "guess my neighbor's are getting up too" vibes from them. It's really pissing me off. I don't have to be up at those early hours. They crackle the floor everywhere they walk over us and sometimes it sounds like they're stopping and constantly running over something from the loudness of it . It's that bad. It's completely bullshit and I know they know better because somebody else stayed the weekend up there and that didn't happen so long as they were above me. I quite as a mouse actually. Idk wtf this person/s problems are this is getting old af. You can't talk to them because the logical thing would be to do that. Right? Well they previously didn't do that and mass reported us over something trying to get us evicted. Bitch.

I really hate owing someone something. Basically, I'm still torn if my decision is okay, I don't know. For my OJT, one of our blood related person backed me up to be accepted in the company. However, upon processing my papers for the company, it's been hard, for instance, we kept on waiting for them for 4-5 hours just for our papers to proceed. That is why I decided to find another company, and I got accepted too without other's influence. So now, my mother kept on reminding me that my choice is wrong cause the she already asked for a favor. But my parents are also the one who agreed for me to proceed my OJT in the other company. So now I'm torn, I'm ashamed, and I'm stressed. I know it's a consequence but I'm tired of my mother kept on reminding me that. And it doesn't help that our blood related person is our neighbors. Now, they are not talking to us. I know it's my fault that is why it's so hard for me to go on without being drained. I have no room for mistake cause I'm the eldest.

I get so angry sometimes. It’s like I just explode, or can’t take it anymore. I don’t like to blame people, but sometimes it feels so good to. I think my parents are what causes most of my anger. They don’t understand how I feel even though I’ve told them so many times. They expect me to be how they want me to be. I’m scared to see how they’ll react if I tell them I’m not straight. My friends at school are fine. I’ve told them more than I have to my parents. But most of the time, I don’t know what tot say to them. It’s like my brain has this filter, and I always think about what to say. I’m so scared people will think I’m boring when I don’t have anything fun to say because it’s happened b4. Is this social anxiety? Today I told my parents to shut up because I was just so pissed at them. I know it was the wrong thing to say at that time, but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Sometimes I cut myself. My wrists have scars. My hands have scars. I’m scared of pain but I like it so much.

FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE MY PARENTS DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HOW I FEEL EVERYTIME THEY JUST NEED TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO ‘OH DO YOUR HOMEWORK, WASH THE DISHES’ DO THIS DO THAT. LIKE I DONT FUCKING KNOW. IM NOT A FUCKING BABY. LIKE TODAY WHEN THEY TELL ME TO DO SOMETHING. I GET SO PISSED, ‘YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EATING WHEN YOURE ABOUT TO DO *****’ I SAY SHUT UP. AND THEY GET ALL MAD ABOUT ME WHEN THEY WERE THE ONES WHO CAUSED IT. Am I in the wrong here? I don’t know anymore.

there is this guy in my school i really like him i think he likes me too but i can't be sure and i am thinking about him 24/7 i am really tired ,like i just want to not think about him for once