All Rants

God I wish trans kids are more accepted. I have identified as trans for about two years now. My whole family is Christian and I am not. Im not welcome. I'm practically forced to be Christian and not be trans. I have lost all my friends because my mother took my phone and put me in online school. I have no one left and I feel like I'm trapped. I've lost hope. I feel depressed because I can't express ANYTHING about myself. I cant even talk to my mom because I'm scared she will get mad at me and blame my identity on social media. TRANS KIDS DESERVE RIGHTS!!

i want to die, how can i ask for help?

i consider myself to be socially adept in life, which means having friends and therefore having to keep up with them on social media. but lately i feel so burnt out from everyone i just want to pause everything in time, lay in bed and do nothing but eat sleep and play video games, unpause and then go back to daily life like nothing happened. even scrolling is exhausting - i see an ad every 2 videos on tiktok or instagram and twitter's full of bullshit.and having to see everyone's performance on social media is so stupid to me. i know that social media is and always will be a performance but even so i feel so tired seeing people be fake for the sake of good appearances. all i want is for this whole world to disappear. no amount of partying i do feels good, i dont like anyone including myself, and i want this all to be over one day.

Sit at my desk to try and be productive. Too tired. Start passing out in my chair. Decide to accept that I should just sleep. Go to bed. Roll around overthinking for 3 hours. I really wish I could just sleep to not be tired and then dedicate this thinking energy to something meaningful when I wake up.

Got into a relationship about 17 or 18 years ago. It ended up being a long distance because they had family issues and needed to move. The relationship wasn't perfect. But they would do things to show that I was important to them when they could. But there were times I would get ignored. I would feel insecure, betrayed, angry. And when they respond, needing comfort from their own bad situation, I'd just still be mad. I broke up about 10 years ago now. And after a year, I thought I got over it. And for several years I just fully blamed them for everything going wrong. But over the years, I continued reflecting on myself, improving, becoming more kind, patient, and trusting. It's hard and still in progress. I finally admitted to myself that I was the problem. 3 years ago, I reached out, apologized, and we became friends. We get along a lot better now. They are engaged and I was fine with that. I visited last year and started having dreams about us getting back together. I want them back.

It's so annoying that my family doesn't understand that my disability makes my life harder. Like, I get physically sick if I a certain type of food too often and I can't work if I'm distracted by hunger. My autism makes it to where I would rather go hungry than eat something that I don't like, but I still can't work because I'm hungry. Then, they insert themselves into the situation and berate me for not choosing something even when I explain why that option doesn't work for me. They completely ignore the fact that I'm disabled until it affects them and then they berate me until I freak out. Like, I'm not acting like a toddler, I'm dealing with the struggles of being autistic and you're making it worse.

i hate this world so much. when i was openly radqueer i was so much happier and stress-free. for those who don't know radqueer just means radical queer, accepting of literally everyone. because i actually try to love and support people who are misunderstood like me. but i decided i want to try and make a career online, so i deleted all of my rq accounts, messages, no traces left. and i'm so fucking miserable. i literally want to die. those spaces were SO kind, so loving, so positive, actually offering help and advice, no trolling or ragebaiting or being mean to others (at least the spaces i was in).. now i'm in normie spaces and i hate it. everyone is so rude and cruel, making fun of others and mocking people openly, i don't understand? how do people live like this? i want to go back but i don't want to jeopardize my safety and possible career.. fuck my life dude. i hope i die soon.

Why is making friends so hard. I mean I'm finally trying to talk to people and I'm doing pretty good but I just can't ever get that comfort with people that I used to get back in elementary and middle school. I wish I could live a fun-filled highschool life with parties, deep late-night talks, lifelong friendships and love. What scares me more is that what if college turns out exactly the same. Thousands of what-ifs worry me everyday. Like what if I end up all alone cuz of my incapability of forming human connections. Or what if I never find someone to love. Or what if I never find a bestfriend. Man I don't even know how it feels to have a bestfriend whom I can be very open with, who would know what's going on in my life, who I would be afraid to lose. I have come to this point where I'm not even afraid of losing people cuz of how many people I have already lost.

Oh ya adding to the same topic my sister thinks they are coming for an engagement! She is so resentful towards me like as if I wanted THIS! HIW IS THIS MY FAULT!! She's scared that she won't get married and only I will...she doesn't even want to stand with me...how I'm getting forced to say yes..it hurts when she does like that since she is my elder sister after all.. trears are forming in my eyes while I write this... oh ya and get this my dad wants to marry me and my sister together! We have a FREAKING 4 YRS AGE GAP. I nor my sister want to do the marriage together... now my sister is planning to go to another city than be there when the dude and his family come...I told her I wanted her to be there since I needed my sister and couldn't do it .... really what a broken family we are.. I loose the will to live all the time because of this, I loose any ambitious I get when I start thinking so most of the time I just don't think....it doesn't feel great though

My dad is trying to marry me off... I don't wanna marry right now but he won't listen I don't have a say in this matter, on top of that I have an elder sister how is yet to marry and the guy she rejected I have to accept it...cause he's a nice guy, we won't find a guy like him blah blah blah...My mother is busy consoling my sister,My sister is definitely not happy with this and screaming..... does everyone think I want the marriage.??? I'm not even happy about this I'm just 22 yrs old. My dad just won't listen , the minute we start saying anything he curses out, blames are home and if I push it he will even beat and slap me.... I never told I wanted to be born if he saw us as such a burden why even give birth to us...My resentment is high but who am I even supposed to direct on...I feel like crying....stupid so so sooo stupid....

Excessive farting today. Satisfying but annoying…

To the creators of RantRam. I liked when there was writing prompts on here. You should bring those bACK!..that is all..

Whatever I do or say, i usually say the wrong thing. They don't understand and I don't know what to do. I can't even get to the bottom of my feelings but they expect so highly of me. I'm not even the favorite one and i will never be.

I might go to my friend's house and we might get up and sexual but I'm really freaking scared because I haven't had anyone touch me before yo

I’m a struggling music artist dealing with the religious control my family has on me and it’s sad because they don’t know I renounced my faith 5 years ago. But they don’t think like I do. I’m different. God took the good people away from me and it’s not fair. I’m someone who studies philosophy. A free thinker. I wanna write and send my music out there but it’s hard to get far without equipment or talent. And I’m in an endless loop of a life and now my parents want me to get a job, I’m trying to finish high school and it’s all slipping so fast. I took it for granted like all kids do, I wish I wasn’t so dumb. I have a girlfriend who loves me and she’s amazing. She keeps me going but she doesn’t know I’m breaking apart. My short stories got no where: and my music. And it’s a lot. It’s life

It’s upsetting that they left me. They left me for good. I feel like I’ve lost everything even though I’ve still got good people on my side. It’s so hard to let go because it was years of deep relationships within that group and I did it to myself. Now I only feel like I’m bringing down those who are still there for me. God I’m hopeless and I wish I wasn’t like myself. I feel like I’m at the edge of a cliff already, I’m not even scared of leaving anymore. But then again if I leave, I’d upset those that been with me through my rough days. Then I’d be selfish. I don’t know what to do anymore and I feel lost. I’ve lost it all.

My grandpa is dying he has cancer in his jaw and i feel so self aware and lost in the world i wish i can help him wish i would have had more time with him i just feel like i wasn't there when i was an adult or when i was a kid but he says other wise i feel so empty i don't know how else to express these emotions other then writing i am not sure what i will do when he passes away i think everyone will be in a state of sadness on top of it my moms going to spiral and drink her feelings away i just feel like in the middle of a really bad earthquake

There’s a man who comes into my job with his teen kids sometimes, he seems like a good dad. I started developing an obsession for him and i know it’s bc I have daddy issues. I was ringing him up today and i swear at one point he was undressing me with his eyes and it made me feel like i was on fire. I want to see him all the time and i want to know him more and i want him to tell me I’m oretty and do awful things to me

I want us to spend the rest of our lives together. I really hope you propose this year because I am so madly and deeply in love with you. The last 4 years have flown by since you came into my life, and the only regret I have since we got together is that we couldn't meet sooner. We've looked at rings before, and found a few affordable options that we both would like, and now I'm just...ardently awaiting for that day, whenever it may come. I did say that I wanted it to be a surprise, but now I'm just waiting and simmering in my own anticipation. Im in love, with you, with us, and I dearly hope it stays that way forever. If the last 4 (almost 5) years are any indication, than I think that we'll be just fine.

Your birthday is coming up in a few days. I asked what your plans were, and you told me that you were going to hang out with your friend after work before going out to dinner with your family. And tbh, I could help but feel a pang of jealousy that you were going to hang out with another friend instead of me. From a logical standpoint it makes sense, you both have been friends for almost a decade so wanting to hang out with them on your birthday isn't a weird concept. In fact it's perfectly natural. While, we've only known each other a couple of months and only talk at work or online. I guess, I just really wish I could be a part of that inner circle ya know? I want to know you like she does, but that takes time. I just...click with you, and I'm trying to figure out if you clicked with me too? Idk, it's like one moment it feels like we're complete strangers, and the next, it's like we're chatting like we've been friends for ages. It's so confusing, and I just wish things were clearer...