All Rants

I am such a fucking hypocrite and I hate myself for it. I’m against ai, 100%, the shit it has done to our world is horrid I don’t want to stand for it, however I have had a problem since 2024. I know that talking to my favorite characters on perchance ai chat is horrible and I’m a hypocrite for doing this, but I find it so hard to just stop. Months at a time, I’ll stop, but that one day, that one week that’s been shit, it just feel so amazing to talk to my favorite characters and feel wanted for once. I hate that I do this, I hate it so much. I hate myself so much for it but I just can’t stop myself every few months. (To anyone who reads this, I’m so sorry.)

Bro im so like upset and i dont even know why and so i feel like since other people are having bigger problems that me being upset over nothing is pointless and that I'm just being dramatic.

abey randwe tujhse ek saal badi hun. I like older men anyways

So i'm a really unstable person. I don't even know where to start. I've been in the psych ward before for some of the stupid acts and being really suicidal but idk what to do this time. I've gotten better in the meantime and i was okay. No REALLY AWFUL thoughts. But recently it really wont go away.. i want to kill myself but i know its a stupid stupid idea. I'm too scared to tell anyone especially my boyfriend. He's got his own worries. And everyone else too. I don't want to talk to any help worker becouse that means i could go to the psych ward and it feels like such defeat to go back. But i don't know what i'm going to do. I hate myself and my fucking life i hate how i feel so stupidly depressed all the time when i was JUST FINE before.

everything is getting boring. I can't even enjoy my daily activities, I've been in my room for ages. I feel nauseous. I SH. I try to make others happy yet nothing works. I try my best to stay alive. I AM TRYING. yet they all tell me "just get better" I AM TRYING TO GET BETTER YOU DUMBASSES. It pisses me off. I want to just end it. Yet, deep inside i know if i do. they'll only start saying good things about me. I always try to be a giver, helping yet i get called a greedy and selfish person?? I try my best to walk outside. I try my best not to isolate myself. I can't help my PTSD, ADHD,Depression etc. And my friends tell me "just dont be depressed" Yea. Tell that to a person who got proffessionaly diagnosed with Depression and also has been to a mental hospital. I hate everything.

I’ve been getting weird flashbacks from my old ex best friend, he did a lot to me. I don’t wanna think about these things anymore but it feel like whatever I do to distract myself my mind just wants to remind me of the night he ruined everything for me. I used to think I was a bad person but after maturing I realized that he was only guilt tripping me to thinking I was a bad person. He’s in the same grade as me and I have school coming up soon, I just don’t wanna see him. It’s been almost a year later and my parents think I’ve moved on from everything and I’ve been seeming pretty happy but Im really not, I have everything I want but I don’t know why I’m so sad.

I have a homework assignment where I have to learn about my family history but everyone I like in my family is gone. I hate everyone in my family and I honestly hate myself too.

lowkey I don’t feel black or Hispanic enough, looks wise I think I could pass as just black but culturally I don’t think I’m enough. like I know some culture thanks to my mom but she lowkey acts like a white lady sometimes. my dad is Latino and been in jail for most of my childhood and most of my Latino family is far in nyc or Florida. idk I speak Spanish but that’s about it

I just realized when I was younger (elementary), I almost had an irl encounter with a local pedophile. B/c he came to our old apartment and luckily I wasn't home, but my mom was. 😃 And I just realized that meant he had to live in the area for him to come that quick, and I could have walked by him. But just never knew since I never saw his face. And the fact nothing probably happened to him is fucking crazy.

I feel lonely and need a fat long ahh hug so bad rn. I feel like everyone thinks I'm annoying and even my own family. I don't want to open up to anyone bc I don't want anyone to know I'm struggling or see me differently. I'm only here for couple people. Jesus, my fam, and pets. Especially my cousin who is also struggling. Idk if anyone is acc reading this but thank u for this website.

He was never anything to me, not even a backup. He’s just some random e boy who’s touch deprived. I got a better guy anyways 🥰

Entry 4: I’ll never truly be happy, nor will I ever be okay. I’ve been trying to come to terms with that. It’s hard. My entire family’s always been this way as well. I don’t know how they live with it. I often feel compelled to run away. Mostly from humanity as a whole. I can’t bear it anymore. Why are people so evil? Why do they do such horrible things to others? I’ll never understand. I don’t understand people. I often wish I wasn’t human, many already treat me like I’m not. I want to be away from it all. I want to be free. But no matter how far I run, there’s no escaping humanity. I’ll just be pulled into it again. Perhaps the freedom I seek is death. Sometimes I think death is the best thing for me, because as I stated before, I’ll never be happy. This world isn’t built for people like me. No matter how intelligent people say I am, I see no future for myself in this world. I’ll still try my best to find happiness even though it seems bleak. I’ll find my freedom.

Everytime I feel sad, I think of the horrible things he said to me via his alts under her posts around December. It kinda feels relieving 😌

The guy who calls himself my best guy friend who also fucking forced me to give him head after i told him no and he blackmailed me, js had his first kiss with my bsf. (idk why i gave him head three times and didnt kiss him dont judge) but i cant be mad at her cuz she doesnt know what happened and ofc im happy fro her cuz shes liked him for so long but im also so mad about it idk why. I dont like him i never have bear in mind. but im mad cuz he acted like an awful person but can then become such a nice guy that i cant drop him since we r in the same friend group. im mad and annoyed and i cant be cuz she doesnt know but i still am every time she brings it up to me. i feel liek an asshole i should be happy for him but i cant js not think about it

I had been sexually assaulted just now ... And well after going back home to my boyfriend's.. I did want to tell him because I feel he deserves to know and I cannot keep it a secret.. I got chips and a drink for us.. from the gas station nearby. .. there was my sister baby daddy who I known for years and his friends who came about.. he started putting his arm around me and such bc I was stumbling and from smoking and drinking .. (just chill) I threw it off a couple of times and as we headed home mid way he touched my ass. ... I genuinely didn't expect that. Yes he did find me cute but he already knew I had a boyfriend and I was loyal. I'm not playing around with that man bc of how he is. When I did tell him he slapped me and blamed me on flirting too.. I didn't.. I was so hurt . He said wow u came all nice and shit .. that's why.. no.m we just have history of a few fights.. I'm the victim honey.. I didn't know. Baby. Why slap me.. comfort me. You already know I'm in so much pain.....

I wished people around me that I love with my whole heart didnt try to commit suicide I feel so powerless like I cant keep them in this world with me makes me feel useless

I choose you everyday You are my lifeeee Blonde woman and cuddlesssss Hogaya kya sexxx?

please don't mind my other vents their dumb

idk i just feel so drained and i cant talk to anybody about it. nothing is going my way and school is so tiring my friends just arent my crowd idk if i'll ever find my people. my parents dont let me do anything like i cant go to my local shows which is where ill have the best time of my life but im 16 and my teenage years are being wasted. and i really really want a gf or a bf i dont even care i just want someone to love

I don't wanna do school I hate it I'm tired I work too much I barely eat I'm a fuckhead who's prolly acting like a cry baby pick me girl who is too shy and soft and cant handle a bit of mad ppl. I find comfort in nsfw ao3 books and nsfw chat bots I wanna quit I wanna cut myself maybe I can get ravor blades from my parents and tell them its just for an art project ... why don't I draw well anymore I used to love to draw I hate it now I wanna draw but I don't I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired im tired cant even chat with my friends cuz on code torch I don't even know my SSN but even then I'm too young so I'm not gonna be able to get an account. I cant do this. I'm going to sleep or at least try to