All Rants

I feel selfish and unable to control my emotions. I feel that the world and my surroundings are really getting in the way of my life.

My boyfriend has seemed upset with me recently and I don’t know how to tell him my mental health has been getting bad again over the last few weeks and I want to hurt myself again

Since you have to be real stupid to be able to troll by paying those at Quick Rant., I thought I commented here. The States who redrawn the boundaries to suit Republican party at elections, has provided evidence the States and The Governors are not for Democracy but that they are weak and controlled by The Republican party especially Trump.

I'm sos fucking angry all the time ughhhhhhhh

28% and 37% in two chemistry exams. im so fucking done. i hate this so so so much kill me now

The voices have gotten worse again and I am unable to do anything about it other then bare with the emotions and extreme low episodes. People say they care but all I end up seeing and hearing is that they care but while I'm useful, I wanna believe I matter; that I am valued but the feeling just keeps getting worse and worse each day. Apart of me is starting to think there is no meaning to my life; Nobody will miss me or notice I was even struggling I have tried far too hard to lie to myself. I've always feared the idea of death; as of late it seems to be my only form of comfort from the worldly issues I bare.

So I had this best friend, Arthur, and we used to be soo close! But we slowly drifted and it was like he was embarrassed to be seen with me, a girl. Later we became a bit close then he just kept breaking and breaking my trust even after I told him about how I tried to kms. And I just had enough. I wonder when we ended and I died inside..

Honestly, I hate the thought of having a relationship. Even if it's platonic, every time I remember we all die. The thought kills me, I'm scared of losing my dad. He's almost 50 and slowly decaying in my eyes. He comes home hurt all the time, he's honestly the only person I find bearable. I hate being this vulnerable, it's so stupid.i was watching this show and a character was speaking about her dad and his she couldn't be reminded of him without being hurt. I gel like that too and for the first time when I thought of a loved one dying I cried. I didn't worry about what will happen with money or what I will get from it. I was crying because of the thought of losing someone who in my opinion is on the same level as money. I guess that's why I love money, it never dies, it'll never hurt and it'll love me. I am like an asshole but just hate attachment because no matter what loving and caring for someone is my weakness.

I have a crying problem. I know people (and science) say that crying is good for you, but maybe not always. I feel really really deeply and sad all the time. ive been like this since i was really young. the smallest things set me off. conversations, music (especially), literature, film... it hurts me deeply, but sometimes when im alone I make myself cry by exposing myself to these things. sometimes it makes me feel better, but sometimes it makes me feel worse. I dont feel happy. I yearn for the feeling of joy or peace in life, but im afraid it will never come. all I can think about is the future that I need to make, and the past mistakes I can never undo. crying lets me feel all the sadness, shame, regret, and yearning in the moment. but I do it everyday (multiple times), and I dont know if its healthy anymore. im crying now too. its too much and not enough

I got super sad yesterday because me my dad and brother were wishing my dad's girlfriends kid happy birthday and I remembered that last year everyone forgot my birthday except 2 people my dad and my school counselor nobody noticed until my class was having the treats i brought

I HATE WHEN BISEXUAL PPL SAY "OH IM ONLY HALF GAY" LIKE WHAT?!?

Im so tired of my partner we have been together a year and a half and only kissed once they love me and I love them butb they just so mentally draining and I feel I have to be with them because they attempted and said I was one of their onlu reasons for living so uh yeah

so i have this online friend that i've known for almost three years now. he's absolutely amazing and i genuinely think we're such good friends. in the beginning, we used to talk pretty regularly. then he kind of disappeared for a year. he came back this year and we were talking pretty consistently again, although he does sometimes disappear for a few weeks at a time. he's not suicidal or anything, he just says he gets caught up doing other stuff. anyway, a month or two back he asks me if i've been in relationships before or if i'm interested in being in one (not with him, just in general). i tell him that rn i'm happily single and he agrees, saying that he likes being single. he disappears for a month and when he comes back, i learn that he went to a whole other country and apparently has a long-distance girlfriend now? i genuinely want to be happy for him. ik i couldn't and wouldn't date him but i do feel sort of betrayed. i've barely seen him since. i just don't want things to change

Im really terrified. Just two or three days ago ants started popping up in our kitchen, and yesterday there was like 50-100 of them, and they keep coming from all the tiny cracks in the cabinets and behind them too, we have no way of finding a source/nest where they come from, its all so sudden. I hate bugs, and some also appeared around the door to my room. I put vinegar there, but I'm not sure if it held them off. I'm currently in bed, terrified to go check the kitchen to see how many more ants appeared, because yesterday, after sucking up the 100 ants, a while later another 10-20 appeared in the same spot. I hate this house, it's old and garbage but we can't find a new house that we could possibly pay for, my mom is really hardworking but also under a lot of stress, I feel terrible.

For context: I am openly lesbian and am currently a high school student. There is this guy I have been friends with for a while, he knows damn well that I am lesbian and that I have no attraction to men whatsoever. He is genuinely starting to gross me the hell out. He has been hitting on me, which I never even realized until three of my friends were like, "hey, you know he's flirting with you right?" And as of recent it has become much more apparent for me because today we had just left an assembly and me and him were walking together, as were are walking together he puts his arm around my shoulders,which didn't bother me all that much, UNTIL HE FUCKING TAKES HIS FREE HAND AND PUTS IT ON MY NECK!?!?! Then trying to tell me, "you know you like it. kinky." WTF. then he just lets go and ACTS LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED!?!? Then he did a similar thing later in the day where he was pulling my hair and trying to tell me the same thing as earlier. WTF DO I DO?!?!?! LIKE- WHAT THE HELL MAN??? >:(

About my immediate family , it feels like it's non existent. Why does no one take my side? I never thought I'd grow up feeling this lonely while growing to love and respect others

I just wish it could be easier. That my life didn't depend on a paper. That I could hug my family, see them. I wish I could feel at home. Even though that has never really existed, not for me. No matter how much I try, no one, no place, nowhere feels like home. And there is nothing to look forward to, no one to even talk this with. I feel as if I am a dead woman walking towards a goal that I don't even know if is mine anymore. I don't know why, or what, nor when I started to resent my choice, or myself. When I started resenting everything and everyone. And I wonder when, if ever, I will be free from the shackles I inflicted on myself.

fried pigs ears have some with me bud :)

I wanna please people and I can't, I always end up using them, I don't want you use them, I want them to rely on me, I wanna be the one they come too, I don't care how they treat me other than that, I just don't want to use my friends, I keep asking for help and stuff and they almost never do, they probably hate me, one of them implied that I should have no friends at all. I would say I don't care if I'm liked but i like treating others kindly. They always end up pulling away, I know I'm socialy awkward but they need to grow up. I try to be as mature as possible and I never can, they always see me as someone to take care of, and I feel really bad for it, I think I should start pulling away, I'm not a small child I can do fine. But please let me help you if you need it

i'm exhausted. i wish someone could hold me and tell me that everythings going to be okay.