All Rants

there are 2 types of suicidal people -the ones who wish they could die without anyone caring -the ones who wish that someone would care if they died neither should feel guilty and neither are worthless-f.g

My older siblings are the only people I truly can talk about my struggles especially my oldest brother, but my mom makes me feel bad for venting to them she says im always snitching. And some mothers wonder why their kids take their own life when they never listened to them

TBF like, I don't really gaf about getting into a relationship but there are like times where my self-esteem is at an all time low and just feel pathetic for not having any sort of romantic relationship in over the years I've been alive in comparison to other kids my age. HOWEVER, the moment I try to imagine myself being in an actual relationship with a partner, doing "cute" things together, going on dates, in reality, I lowkey feel like throwing up. IDK 😭so like it's just a momentary feeling of fomo cuz I genuinely have never found myself hsving a crush on smn irl like i genuinely don't know how i can never look at someone in THAT way and prospect of living alone w no worries for anyone else just seems so much more FREE INNIT

It says a lot about neurotypicals that a group of neurotypicals at a festival are getting so much praise right now for including an autistic man in their group who'd gone on his own. Don't get me wrong I'm really pleased they included him, it just makes me sad that it's such a big deal. People should be including us anyway without a second thought, just like how they include "normal" people. From my experience though, they don't, and that's why nearly all my friends are neurodivergent: they included me without a second thought.

My girlfriend of over half a year brokeup with me I'm a minor and this is the first girlfriend I had she was really special I remember in kindergarten I told my mom that I was gonna marry her and I remember she even kisses me once in kindergarten we dated for a month and brokeup a year before we got back together for 6 months I go to her house almost everyday recently we've had problems so i wanted to talk to her about how I feel but she took it the wrong way and brokeup with me on the spot she said she was stressed out and I feel numb I guess the sadness comes in waves I'm gonna miss her family and her pets and I hate that I can never see them again her brother is like a brother to me and her dog always swats his paw like he's waving hello when I arrive she took a piece of me and really want her back she said that she wants the hoodies she gave me back and that she doesn't miss me at all but how could she say something like that when she looked at me so loving I'm just so confused

My self esteem is so low I genuinely believe I'm an NPC, and I serve no purpose. I mean obviously i don't view myself as a literal game NPC but you get the idea. And i genuinely feel so worthless, i face discrimination everyday for my sexuality and identity (yes I'm queer and inside the closet), people at school, home, online constantly make fun of me and bully me, they make me feel like the most shittiest person on earth, and I'm fat so i constantly get fatphobic comments. On certain days I feel like I should just give up on life. This is one of the days. I try so hard to help others so that maybe I matter, but they never actually care about me and in the end they leave me for other people. I genuinely don't see myself getting past 16. I don't see a point on living. I try to find a reason, but i fail every time. I just want to let out how i've been feeling these past years cuz I can't handle it anymore. I hope I get to live longer.

I hope one day she hits me and I die I want to make her regret this... That probably makes me cruel but I just hope she regrets everything even if it means I die.. I instead of asking me if I'm okay she yells at when I cry.. I hate her smm.. I love my dad and lil brother.. they're soo sweet but I hate her.. it's true she did alot for me but she's rlly bad with her temper.. at times it's acceptable to get angry at me bc I'm not angel and I can be quite a brat but most of the time she's mad at me bc of her horrible temper.. and I have to just listen to her trash talk abt me and just sit there crying... I hope she knows that I cry at night because of her and things that happen at school..

For my entire life I've felt alone and hopeless to varying degrees, but this year has been the worst. It feels like everything in this world is designed to beat me down and humiliate me, I can't look in mirrors or see my own shadow without my day being ruined, without screaming and crying for hours into my pillow until my throat rips apart. I'm a hideous abomination and i'm fucking stupid as hell too i have no talents or passions and i'm too old to be like this. I very rarely see anyone my age and when i do they're infinitely more successful or talented or beautiful than i could ever be. I can't even form a coherent sentence or speak loud enough for people to hear. Every single aspect of life terrifies me, i live in constant fear of the world outside my room, like my brain is absolutely certain that i will die before 30. I'm going to be killed or die in a freak accident and i will die as i lived- crying as my hopes and dreams are crushed right in front of me. It's never been more over.

And the feeling is coming back. And because I vented about feeling shit about my lack of empathy before and some cvnt decided to leave me a private note shaming me for it, I just feel even more shit about it now so thanks for that, cvnt. God you "empaths" fvcking suck. Honestly if you were in my position you'd have agreed with me right from the start. I need to vent too, but no, I just have to sit and listen to everyone else vent while no one will listen to me. I hope whoever left that note gets used as everyone's free personal therapist, and I hope that whenever they need someone to listen, they have no one

I haven’t felt human in months or probably years. Days, weeks, months feel like they’re being blurred into one big fuck that I have to live through. I don’t recognize myself anymore, shit I don’t even know who I am or what I am. Even then I still feel so fucking lonely and it’s by my own doing, I want to be around people and I want to connect but it’s like I can’t physically allow myself to do that. I think I feel the most lonely when I’m out, I went to a show a few days ago and I felt so fucking out of it. I was high but I still thought I’d be able to enjoy myself. I felt the energy there but It was almost as if it was washing right past me in waves, just avoiding me. Sometimes I don’t feel anything at all even though I know it’s there. I think the worst thing out of anything is that I can’t remember anything, and it’s haunting me. It makes me want to cry but I can’t even do that, I haven’t cried in months. I look back at old text messages trying to remember but it makes it all worse

yesterday i had a 3 fights in a single day 2 my teachers 1 my friend my anger gets good of me i guess no one is there to help me yk

It’s so crazy watching AI propaganda appear every day. One ad I keep seeing over and over clearly targeting low income people and small business into using ai is this Goodwill funded ad offering “free AI courses” so that people can learn to use AI for home and business claiming that it’s something that you have to do to keep up with trend. (It’s not) and now there’s these new ads I’ve been seeing today where they’re marketing to older people and trying to make it seem all sweet and cute. Like “look, older people can do it too!” And the ad is just an old lady talking to her phone and being like “what’s your name sweetheart ❤️” and it replies “you can call me chat gpt! ❤️” like it’s supposed to be heartwarming. I’m not falling for it. AI is not something we ever needed in the past so why would we need it today. People are becoming stupid. Relying on AI for everything and refusing to learn anything. This is a psyop. Companies are stealing from real people and profiting off them scot-free.

i hate my toxic brown parents and its so hard to love them like they do so much for me so i feel guilty feeling like this but there so abusive and there mindsets are just so evil..

I hate myself. I hate my life. I'm scared of my future because Im too lazy to even start it, I don't want to keep doing this it's so stressful. My mom had a stroke when I was 7, she always acts really unhinged and a few times has dug her nails into the skin and stuff. My dad's an alcoholic and hates himself, he's always "woe is me" to his literal daughter, my mom had been cheating on my dad on and off for years. I told my dad about it and the after effect was constant screaming and yelling. My parents fight a lot, for my whole life they have, wether it's an argument or full blown screaming but my mom is always scratching my dad's arms really bad and my dad has punched her in the face. Anytime I hear a loud noise in the house I'm immediately scared. (Note, I have food, clothes, electricity, water and things that aren't needs, I live in a nice house and my dad has a stable job. I'm not in danger.)

I honestly hate how some Christians assume everyone else is a Christian and push their religion onto other people. this is honestly why I refrain from talking about spirituality or my religion (Santeria) because they sometimes call it demonic and pray that I find jesus or call it fake. I do respect Christians, just not those who do this. Or even worse, they CONSTANTLY mention religion. “Gods plan” “God had that in store for you” or anything along the lines of that. I praise shango (a god in my religion) like that but I don’t constantly mention him.

I'm not gonna say what they said because I just want to go to bed but thank you f.g for the message and I'll see you lovelies tomorrow! Stay safe!

It's early compared to when I usually log off but I need to go. I just got on but I have an early morning in a few hours. Have night/day f.g and everyone else!

fuckin hate my parents they r so fuckin paranoid,merciless,cold and detatched and the sometimes they act so lovey dovey towards me as like they havent been torturing me for ages i fuckin hate them so much they make me insecure about every single thing shout at me ad yell at me without any reason always in their work and office never even sit with me down and ask me how my day was they are such judgmental creeps i gen feel like im walking on eggshells

Ugh I'm so tired. I was awake until 5am yesterday and was woken up at 11am. That sounds like a late time to sleep in until but in reality 6 hours of sleep is NOT enough for a middle schooler. I ended up hanging out with friends (NOT BY CHOICE) until like 5pm? They made me go on a walk to Speedway and back TWICE, make banana bread, asked the same question over and over for HOURS, and were loud as heel the whole fucking time. And one of them is staying over tonight and is literally sleeping right outside the room I'm in right now having a sleepover with my brother. I have to get up at 10am tomorrow to get ready for therapy at 11am BUT the problem is its like 40 minutes away. So I'm gonna get almost NO sleep tonight. I'm wore out and I have a headache. -Astro

I feel so lost. Trying to do what I can. Trying to fit into whatever is acceptable vs what is me. I don't feel anything. I don't want to do anything. I am the only one trying. I feel lost, trying to navigate rejection, coldness, and lack of connection. I don't know why we're together. He claims he loves me. Would someone that loves me be impatient with me and not want me to be me? Why be together if I have to only meet specific check boxes?