I have trauma from sexual abuse and currently in a relationship with my now boyfriend. I'm not a touchy/feely person in the first place and my boyfriend is the total opposite. First thing he does in the morning if we sleep together is roll over and cuddle me. I've talked to him about how I can't handle that first thing in the morning and he respects this. However, this evening he said something was on his mind where long story short, he felt I only saw him as a friendship. I was devastated by this to which I started to cry. What he said hurt of course but what hurt more was that I love how I know how to and without overstepping my own boundaries but apparently this was interpreted as not loving him. Absolutely pained by it but it was how he felt and I need to respect that. I fear that I'll never be interpreted as loveable; ever. Especially because of my past trauma where love needed to be earned and wasn't just given.