Rant #2557

When people around me ask why am I not in relationship, I reply with something along the lines that I am happy being single, Single life is best. But deep down I know, it is a defensive mechanism. I am just lying at some level. I do want a partner that understands me, just heard me out, is there for me. I do want someone to share the happy moments of my life, i want to be there for someone. Have someone to come back home to. But the thought itself is so drawing when I look at my current life responsibilities. I am bound to help my family, take over the position of bread winner but that also means I have to say no to a lot of wants, compromise and sacrifice. The thought of asking someone to adjust to it feelings wrong and who would in this day and age. The older I get the more I understand, not everyone can afford to be in a relationship and I am not talking just about money, but mental capacity as well. And the rejections that I have faced do ensure I think twice before trying again