Rant #2522

im really tired of never being anyones first choice. its always been like this for me, but im really now just realizing i dont have anyone that would choose me first in a life or death situation. ive been trying to put myself out there more, but i just end up looking really fucking stupid. i just want to experience love how everyone else in my fucking life does, but apparently something is wrong with me. ive dated 1 person, and it just mentally screwed me over. everyone i talk to now either looks at me like im insane, or never even responds. im so so tired