Rant #2518

I'm depressed, I've always been my first motivater and never gave up because of this show called Ninjago which I really love but was billed from my uncle who's a few years older about how it's a baby show so I hid my watching from them, starting January first I was on a road with god to try and become better since last year I was a Lukewarm and I sinned terribly on January first and just became depressed from there, my family thinks I'm just lazy since I dont wanna do anything but I can't do anything, I feel like life has no purpose anymore and should just live through it, they think this because I laugh, happy, and everything and thinks everything is okay, but 2 years ago I was suicidal when I was 8 so I had to hid it to stop all the treatments, I'm emotional numb now confused, I realized I was in spiritual warfare and did a 3 a.m. prayer and I actually feel happier, I have a confidence boost so no idea what to do now, should I continue or just end it here?