Rant #2507

To start, I am autistic and very mentally ill. I struggle financially and with identity, amongst everything else. I sort of just wish I could find an older guy who would take care of me I guess. Like a dog. Like I want to be petted, praised, I want cute clothes and accessories, I want to go on walks and go places. I want car rides. I want a collar and not have to do any thinking on how shit my life feels. I just want to play the role as a dummy while I'm adored. My family doesn't get it, and I feel weird for it.