life just got worse. I sh'd. or tried to. I used this blade I found on the ground of school. and I scratched it against my hand. I tried to feel something. anything other than this aching fucking pain. I almost used scissors to cut myself in Spanish class today, but I caught myself. I don't want attention. I HATE attention. i feel pathetic. as if nothing has changed. the medication feels like its getting worse. these suicidal thoughts are going and I feel as if one day I'll be gone. if one day I'll be away from this earth. I had two mental breakdowns this week, and it was horrible. when I told my mom, she focused on the fact that I cried over my friend not being here for a week, saying "if you worried so much, then why didn't you just text her?" BEAUSE I WASCYRING HLELO??? I don't get it. she glazed over the fact that I had a mental breakdown TWICE. she also doesn't think being nonbinary exists. great. just fucking great.