Rant #2438

Am I really the victim, am I really in the right, am I really alone or did I do this to myself. This friend I had asked me to hang out a few times I turned her down, at the time I was simply not in the mood, but god I should've agreed I was in no place to turn her down. See, I'm used to be being alone at this \point I have this most self seeking attention grabbing personality, which I have gained from being turned down several times not always said verbally, but I always know. If I weren't observant, if I didn't analyze every thing thing maybe I would be different. One time in 9th grade I lost all my friends because a girl didn't like me ands, now I can;'t sit with these people that I don't even consider my friends just people I can like anough so I don't have to sit alone, I mean this same person (not the girl that didn't like me but her best friend) asked me to sit with her when she was alone, and at that point I did not li