TW for mention of molestation, though i don't know if it even qualifies. i've been cut off from the world for a long time and i have gone unconscious for a year and i know i should talk to people probably but it's not good to dump it on anyone and i'm sure whatever illnesses i have signals that i am infectious. there's this thing i saw about someone waiting for the moment they become a good person because they think they don't deserve to talk to other people but it ends with them being stuck in waiting. i want to talk to people but it would be a big burden for them and i've seen the secret gcs where people make fun of my venting and call me crazy before, that's just how luck works. i'm not a good fit for anyone and it makes sense i only attract people who are also dying. there's this one person who keeps talking to me who creeps me out because he keeps touching me but he's the only person to talk to me so i guess i should be happy about that. i just want friends i can trust.